Tax Advice and Copperfield

The oddest and funniest question asked today: "Can I count my son as a dependent on my 1040?"
Not so strange, right? Of course, you can count your son as a dependent on your personal income tax. Mentions it in the booklet. Well, his definition of "son" wasn't as simple.
The lawyer I worked for asked for some followup questions. The son was adopted recently. Fine. He's about two years old. Fine. He's so smart and he's potty trained. Yeah, go on. Did I mention that he has the bad habit of chewing on furniture and barking at strangers? What the...
You guessed it. Her "son" is her Labrador Retriever she adopted last week from a local animal shelter. She considers the dog as one of the family.
Being the skillful lawyer, he kindly and carefully explained that pets do not count as dependents according to the tax code. No matter how much you consider them "family," they do not count as pets are not considered human. (Some girls I know consider their boyfriends are considered "pets.") He told her not to write the dog off as a dependent.
After she left, I mentioned to him that a DJ in Wyoming did this for several years until his accountant found out. The DJ, when he filed his taxes the next year, cleverly stated his "son" was deceased. So what she was thinking about doing had been done before. He was amused by this bit of trivia that I had regurgitated.

I recently read David Copperfield. I now have an answer to the question of what my life is like. The relevant section is in Chapter Sixteen, a snippet of which follows:
"It seemed to me so long, however, since I have been among such boys, or among any companions of my own age. . .that I felt as strange as ever I have done in all my life. . . .I had become. . .so unused to the sports and games of boys, that I knew I was awkward and inexperienced in the commonest things belonging to them. Whatever I had learnt, had so slipped away from me in the sordid cares of my life from day to night, that now, when I was examined about what I knew, I knew nothing."
Being socially avoidant does have it's drawbacks. I can quote Dickens, but I can't fit in socially with other people. I'm beginning to wonder when the facade of social normality will crumble and the well-buried and hidden abnormal side will break loose.
I think I shall set up a betting pool on what day this will happen. A $5 entry fee will be sufficient. So e-mail in the date you think this will happen. In case of a tie, the first entry with the correct date will win.

That's all.