I'm A Celebrity...Who Cares?

I'm surprised at how obsessed people can get with celebrities. Well, maybe surprised isn't the best word to describe how I feel about this love affair people have. The most apt words to describe how I feel probably aren't allowed on the Internet.

It's amazing, almost disgustingly so, how people can revolve their lives around such a trivial thing and make it sound like if they don't know what Tom Cruise or Paris Hilton is doing, their own life isn't good enough. It a way, it implies their own lives have no value unless they can substitute the life of a celebrity to make up for what they are lacking. The logic is siple, if not stupid. My life is boring; it sucks; I guess it isn't that exciting, let alone important. Therefore, I will substitute Brad Pitt's life for mine. If something happens in his life, my life will be more exciting and more worthwhile to live. I find fantasizing about living the life of anyone else to be foolish.

I also find it amazing how the news can turn the most ordinary event into a shocking news story if it involves a celebrity. This is most likely reflective of how many sheeplike people there are in the world. It's like everyone is suckered by the flash and lack of substance and not thinking logically about these things.

A. Famous person dies. News reporters may spend weeks talking about how it is a great loss and the person will be missed. Millions of people cry and vent out more emotions for a person they have not seen in real life, let alone known in real life than for their own friends and family members. If it is an especially famous person like Princess Diana, they might hyperbolize the importance of the person and call the death a "tragedy." No, it is not a tragedy. Innocent people dying in a war is a tragedy. People starving to death due to famine is a tragedy. People living in abject poverty is a tragedy. Getting into a car being driven by a drunk driver taking pills for suicide, driving at a hundred miles an hour in a dark tunnel, and then crashing into a steel-reinforced concrete pole, all while not wearing a seatbelt and leaving your kids in a different country is not tragic. Most would call it pretty stupid.
I'm not heartless. I'm telling it like it is. If it were Joe Schmoe from some podunk farming town in North Dakota, everyone will call him a damn moron. The news will do a thirty second blurb and imply he is another statistic. No one will send a camera crew and spend several hours at the funeral, interrupting it to give comments. A famous rock musician will not write a song to mourn the death. The most the guy can expect is a couple paragraphs in the obituary section. When I heard Diana died, I turned off the TV. Everyone else I knew talked about it and got emotional, calling it a tragedy that she died young. I kept my mouth shut as I probably would have been stoned if I called it like it was.

B. Famous celebrity gets married. Whoopdeedoo. I hope their all happy, cause their marriage will most likely end in divorce. It's some shocking event for some reason. Almost as if celebrities aren't human in some way. Rich, a guy I know from law school is getting married. I find that more important than some celebrity getting married. (Hey, good luck and much love Rich. You're marrying someone special and I hope you are happy for the rest of your life.) Someone famous gets married, and it's some holy shit moment. As much as the respected news media wants to do serious stories (which they don't, as it doesn't get ratings), they will inevitably spend too much time analyzing the event as if it were a nuclear bomb test. Which shows how much I don't like TV media, as it is mindless drivel being driven by equally mindless Americans who don't give a damn about actual news.

C. Famous celebrity gets divorced. Again, whoop-de-fricking-doo. I would have NEVER EVER in my entire life guessed that famous people get divorced. For some reason, if a celebrity gets divorced, it is a "shocking" event that "no one expected to happen." Apparently, in addition to not marrying, celebrities always have perfect weddings and never divorce. Any one else, and they are another statistic for the census bureau or a study.

D. Famous person gets into trouble with the law. Man, I would have never guess that famous people get DUIs, hit people, get arrested, do drugs, see prostitutes, and what other hijinks they get into. If I got into trouble, let alone anyone who is not famous, I would be another statistic and the news could care less. In addition, I probably would get hit with the maximum sentence and immediately tossed into jail because I am a stupid moron without any cash. A celebrity who gets into trouble, most often, will get a slap on the wrist and get community service. If I hit a person with a car, I get a jail sentence. If I were Halle Berry, I can claim I didn't see the person, lost my mind, forgot I did anything wrong, and drive away with a fine and some community service. As they cynically say, "You are innocent until proven broke." Given that fact, I am automatically guilty.

E. Famous person does anything. They could brush their teeth and it becomes a major news event. Famous person is dating someone equally famous or not so famous. On the morning news faster than a story about a mass murderer roaming the US. With more publicity than the killer also. Interestingly enough, it is estimated that there are at least fifty unknown serial killers roaming the US at any given time. One for every state. Most don't know that, but everyone knows that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise got engaged in Paris. I get a date, which at this moment is highly unlikely to happen anytime soon, and odds are, very few people will notice or even care. Well, there are some people I could think of. Not that many. But there are some.

Go on back and worship another celebrity and put some "real" meaning into your supposedly miserable lives just like all the other people in this world. Kind of makes you feel special, doesn't it?

That's all for now. Later.