Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet(and I've searched for them) devoted to all things related to Un. Then again, this really isn't something special, so I can't brag too much about it. There probably is some similarly positioned site on the Internet. I digress.
It was one of those perfect weather days today in this part of the world: Lawrence, Kansas. The sun was shining brightly. The sky was blue with some puffy, white clouds. A slight breeze, but not too windy. To gild the weather-related lily, it wasn't hot, but very comfortable. If it weren't for law school classes, I probably would have spent all day outside, just soaking up the sun and slowly getting a nasty form of skin cancer. I'm going to spend a lot of time outside when the weather is this nice. It's much better than staying inside, considering the condition of certain building on campus. *COUGH*Wescoe Hall*COUGH* for example. Not that I'm naming names or anything. The Law School isn't so bad, but it's a good thing to get outside. Maybe it might be possible to get my Public International Law professor to have class outside tomorrow. Not that it's going to happen, but it's worth asking him. Just once.
Things are going as usual at the Law School. The new 1L class thinks Lawyering is a useless class that gives no guidance and probably won't be useful any time in the real world. And they are thinking about word counts and all the other "fun" stuff that encompasses a class involving "legal" writing in the "real world". Note that items in quotes are meant to be interpreted as sarcastic. When they say "good luck" after giving an assignment, they mean "Good luck in guessing what we want from you in this assignment" and not "Good luck" as traditionally meant in such situations where it applies.
And Facebook is becoming more and more creepier. They have a new feature called "News Feed" and it tells you what updates you've made and summarizes what has happened to your profile. Stuff like Relationship Status, Wall postings, and all the things you can change on your Facebook Profile. When I think about it, it's kinda, well, it is voyeuristic. Almost like a electronic stalker that follows you and knows what you are doing. If it were a person, it would receive a restraining order from the courts.
I've got a new blog listed on the "Blogs I Read" section of the sidebar. I'm probably biased, but I think it is a well-written blog about an American in Estonia. It's more like an American in Europe, but the writer lives in Estonia and travels around Europe when she has time to do so. It's not the official name of the blog, but it works in a practical way. The posts are informative and entertaining. Why I might be biased is because I have known the writer of the blog since middle school when I used to live in Manhattan, Kansas. You just have to read it. I'm sure you will enjoy reading this blog.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Running and Going Nowhere
"Now! Now!" cried the Queen. "Faster! Faster!" And they went so fast that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the ground with their feet, till suddenly, just as Alice was getting quite exhausted, they stopped, and she found herself sitting on the ground, breathless and giddy.
The Queen propped her up against a tree, and said kindly, "You may rest a little now."
Alice looked round her in great surprise. "Why, I do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! Everything's just as it was!"
"Of course it is," said the Queen, "what would you have it?"
"Well, in our country" said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else -- if you ran very fast for a long time, as we've been doing."
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.
If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
-Chapter Two of Through The Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. If you haven't guessed by now, that means stuff that I find interesting. If this doesn't meet your standards for "interesting," you can always hit the "Back" button on your web browser and go to another more interesting site like Facebook or Google.
I've started to run and I find the activity to be quite amusing, though my standards for amusing are, put nicely, different than most people. Well, I find it amusing in an intellectual way. My legs, however, could care less what I am thinking about while running. They're probably thinking, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU RUNNING? STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"
I have to admit, there is a weird feeling while jogging on a treadmill. It's sort of like the quote I have from Through The Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. You run and run as fast as you can and you never go anywhere. You have to run to keep in the same place or end up flat on your face, having an extremely painful exfoliation done by the tread going at whatever speed you've set it on. If you go twice as fast than what you've set it on, you end up going somewhere...right into the control panel or you go so fast that you trip and fall and end up with your face on the tread. Just like if you go too slow.
One of the dumber things that you do if you go on a treadmill is forget about the little voice in your head. The one that reminds you of using a modicum of common sense. Like running for a distance of 2.5 miles at a 5.0MPH speed is different than running the same distance at 4.5MPH for one mile and finishing the rest at 5.0MPH. I know this may sound pretty obvious, but the mind works funny.
And another thing. Guys seem to do it more than women, which shows that despite many years, men have the "alpha male" behavior still residing in their brains. It might show that women have more common sense. I haven't done this before as I know that I will lose any speed battles. Maybe it might pop up when I start running at a faster speed than I run right now. Or I decide to be more competitive. Nah, I don't think so.
If there is another person on the treadmill by you, you will unconsciously (maybe consciously) loook over and see what speed they are running at. Then you will look at your speed and see what you are doing. If you are running faster than they are, you will feel a sense of smug satisfaction. If you are slower, you will up your speed so you are running faster than they are. The other person will counter. And you will counter that counter. And it will continue in a treadmill Cold War until someone can't counter any more. If you happen to reach a detente(I know there should be an accent) of some sort (same speed or you're both at max speed), it will be an endurance contest of who can last the longest at that speed. It always happens at one point or another.
In an unrelated note, there is a really strange guy at the place I exercise at. It's the same place where I took a dancing class (country-western, boot-scooting boogie stuff) during the summer. I didn't have anything better to do. I still have two left feet. He dresses in the same clothes, which normally isn't too bad. There are some people there who wear the same outfit, but he takes it to an extreme. As in he doesn't wash his clothes, so he smells bad. Words can't describe the odor, but it's something akin to a run-over skunk that's been lying on the road for a few days and a septic system trunk spilling some raw sewage over the entire mess. It's that bad. He also talks and mumbles and laughs to himslef. Like he has a connection to a radio station in his head. I've though the "implanted chips in the head" stories were stories, but this might be actual proof that they are true. I'm not kidding. People have complained about his...strange behavior...but the staff can't do anything about it. Unless he goes berserk or violent, they can't do anything like kick him out. Oh well. That's just the way it is. Some things you just can't change.
Time to go to International Trade Regulations. How fun. An exciting lecture about the early history of GATT. And six pages of notes to write in a frantic rush. My wrist is so happy to be part of the experience. Carpal tunnel here I come.
That's all for now.
The Queen propped her up against a tree, and said kindly, "You may rest a little now."
Alice looked round her in great surprise. "Why, I do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! Everything's just as it was!"
"Of course it is," said the Queen, "what would you have it?"
"Well, in our country" said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else -- if you ran very fast for a long time, as we've been doing."
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.
If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
-Chapter Two of Through The Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. If you haven't guessed by now, that means stuff that I find interesting. If this doesn't meet your standards for "interesting," you can always hit the "Back" button on your web browser and go to another more interesting site like Facebook or Google.
I've started to run and I find the activity to be quite amusing, though my standards for amusing are, put nicely, different than most people. Well, I find it amusing in an intellectual way. My legs, however, could care less what I am thinking about while running. They're probably thinking, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU RUNNING? STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"
I have to admit, there is a weird feeling while jogging on a treadmill. It's sort of like the quote I have from Through The Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. You run and run as fast as you can and you never go anywhere. You have to run to keep in the same place or end up flat on your face, having an extremely painful exfoliation done by the tread going at whatever speed you've set it on. If you go twice as fast than what you've set it on, you end up going somewhere...right into the control panel or you go so fast that you trip and fall and end up with your face on the tread. Just like if you go too slow.
One of the dumber things that you do if you go on a treadmill is forget about the little voice in your head. The one that reminds you of using a modicum of common sense. Like running for a distance of 2.5 miles at a 5.0MPH speed is different than running the same distance at 4.5MPH for one mile and finishing the rest at 5.0MPH. I know this may sound pretty obvious, but the mind works funny.
And another thing. Guys seem to do it more than women, which shows that despite many years, men have the "alpha male" behavior still residing in their brains. It might show that women have more common sense. I haven't done this before as I know that I will lose any speed battles. Maybe it might pop up when I start running at a faster speed than I run right now. Or I decide to be more competitive. Nah, I don't think so.
If there is another person on the treadmill by you, you will unconsciously (maybe consciously) loook over and see what speed they are running at. Then you will look at your speed and see what you are doing. If you are running faster than they are, you will feel a sense of smug satisfaction. If you are slower, you will up your speed so you are running faster than they are. The other person will counter. And you will counter that counter. And it will continue in a treadmill Cold War until someone can't counter any more. If you happen to reach a detente(I know there should be an accent) of some sort (same speed or you're both at max speed), it will be an endurance contest of who can last the longest at that speed. It always happens at one point or another.
In an unrelated note, there is a really strange guy at the place I exercise at. It's the same place where I took a dancing class (country-western, boot-scooting boogie stuff) during the summer. I didn't have anything better to do. I still have two left feet. He dresses in the same clothes, which normally isn't too bad. There are some people there who wear the same outfit, but he takes it to an extreme. As in he doesn't wash his clothes, so he smells bad. Words can't describe the odor, but it's something akin to a run-over skunk that's been lying on the road for a few days and a septic system trunk spilling some raw sewage over the entire mess. It's that bad. He also talks and mumbles and laughs to himslef. Like he has a connection to a radio station in his head. I've though the "implanted chips in the head" stories were stories, but this might be actual proof that they are true. I'm not kidding. People have complained about his...strange behavior...but the staff can't do anything about it. Unless he goes berserk or violent, they can't do anything like kick him out. Oh well. That's just the way it is. Some things you just can't change.
Time to go to International Trade Regulations. How fun. An exciting lecture about the early history of GATT. And six pages of notes to write in a frantic rush. My wrist is so happy to be part of the experience. Carpal tunnel here I come.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Trial Ad Serendipity
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for one of those update thingies that I should be doing more often but do not due to a lack of anything happening in my so-called life on this planet.
I was having problems finding a witness for my Trial Ad small section. This happens, well, because I don't know that many people at the law school and being the semi-recluse does not work that well in these kinds of situations. Plus I would hate to bother anyone and all of these other problems get in the way. I'm not sure what to call it anyways.
But I think that my luck has changed with this situation. I have found (I think, assuming something strange doesn't happen) a partner for the small section. A truly serendipitous occasion.
I had given up on finding a partner and I check my e-mail. Guess what? Someone needed a partner and assumed someone else would be looking for one. Hey, it's an offer I can't refuse at this moment. It would look bad if I showed up for the first Trial Ad small section and I didn't have a partner.
Almost perfect timing. Some things work out pretty well.
Now the only thing to worry about is planning for the unexpected like the partner being unavailable. You've gotta plan for that. Everything else, well, I think I can handle.
That's all for now.
I was having problems finding a witness for my Trial Ad small section. This happens, well, because I don't know that many people at the law school and being the semi-recluse does not work that well in these kinds of situations. Plus I would hate to bother anyone and all of these other problems get in the way. I'm not sure what to call it anyways.
But I think that my luck has changed with this situation. I have found (I think, assuming something strange doesn't happen) a partner for the small section. A truly serendipitous occasion.
I had given up on finding a partner and I check my e-mail. Guess what? Someone needed a partner and assumed someone else would be looking for one. Hey, it's an offer I can't refuse at this moment. It would look bad if I showed up for the first Trial Ad small section and I didn't have a partner.
Almost perfect timing. Some things work out pretty well.
Now the only thing to worry about is planning for the unexpected like the partner being unavailable. You've gotta plan for that. Everything else, well, I think I can handle.
That's all for now.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
An Update
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for one of those update thingies that I've neglected to do for a while. As if my life was that exciting.
There's nothing like Trial Advocacy. Especially when the class suffers from drops and adds. Especially when everything changes and the time you've spent figuring out how to examine a witness is for nothing. I spent some time planning how to depose an assault victim and the problem has changed to something I haven't bothered to closely examine. Now I have to look at the new problem. And I have to find someone in my small section to be the witness. Ah, one of the problems of being semi-reclusive.
At least I now can use a guy in the small section as it would have been a little weird to ask a guy, "Ms Todd, could you please introduce yourself to the Court?" Or hearing him respond, "My husband visited me at the hospital. I then realized that the man who beat me up was much taller than I had reported to the police."
I'm up in Federal Income Taxation and I need to read the cases. I don't think the professor will question me on the cases, but it might be a good thing to read them over at least once. Things rarely go as one expects them to go. That made little sense, but it's better to be prepared. I've done the problems he assigned so I'm at least ready for that.
In an unrelated note, one would expect the Government, especially in a 9/11 World, would be more vigilant in security. They would, actually, should know who is a guest and who is not a guest at an event. This story just shows you that they really aren't that aware. Then again, what would you expect from them when their security measures cross the border from practical and sensible to "pointless, annoying, intrusive, illusory and just plain stupid" as one website has claimed. Read this site and see how bad it can get or how bad it has already gotten.
That's all for now.
There's nothing like Trial Advocacy. Especially when the class suffers from drops and adds. Especially when everything changes and the time you've spent figuring out how to examine a witness is for nothing. I spent some time planning how to depose an assault victim and the problem has changed to something I haven't bothered to closely examine. Now I have to look at the new problem. And I have to find someone in my small section to be the witness. Ah, one of the problems of being semi-reclusive.
At least I now can use a guy in the small section as it would have been a little weird to ask a guy, "Ms Todd, could you please introduce yourself to the Court?" Or hearing him respond, "My husband visited me at the hospital. I then realized that the man who beat me up was much taller than I had reported to the police."
I'm up in Federal Income Taxation and I need to read the cases. I don't think the professor will question me on the cases, but it might be a good thing to read them over at least once. Things rarely go as one expects them to go. That made little sense, but it's better to be prepared. I've done the problems he assigned so I'm at least ready for that.
In an unrelated note, one would expect the Government, especially in a 9/11 World, would be more vigilant in security. They would, actually, should know who is a guest and who is not a guest at an event. This story just shows you that they really aren't that aware. Then again, what would you expect from them when their security measures cross the border from practical and sensible to "pointless, annoying, intrusive, illusory and just plain stupid" as one website has claimed. Read this site and see how bad it can get or how bad it has already gotten.
That's all for now.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
A Busy Monday
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. If you were looking for another site like the United Nations of even online porn, this is not the correct site. Try using Google next time. Then again, if you are that confused and thought this was the UN site, don't use the Internet. Come on, like the UN would have "blogspot.com" in their URL.
I had a really fun Monday. Four classes with three of them in a row.
The day started out with International Trade Regulations featuring Professor Bhala, who seems to be a pretty cool guy. His CV is pretty impressive. A "proper English" education complete with the requisite degrees from Duke, The London School of Economics, Oxford, AND a JD from Harvard. I never took so many freaking notes in one day. Though the explanation on Ricardo's lovely theory was interesting. I think this is foreboding something. Like I'm going to need a bigger notebook or I need to write faster.
Then came Trial Advocacy with Professor Briscoe. Lecture once a week, workshops once a week also. It seems that this will be a fun class. Though I have to wear "courtroom attire" for the workshops. That measns...the dreaded suit with tie most likely. Oh well. I guess once a week for two hours isn't that bad. I mean, it could be sixty, seventy hours a week. Wait, lawyers have to do that. Might as well get used to this.
Federal Income Taxation with Professor Dickinson. Might as well take this class as it will help me later in life. I will learn how to read the Internal Revenue Code, properly known as 26 USC Section 1 et seq (can't get the official section symbol on this blog). According to some research, it got a -6 score on readability. In simple English, it's hard to understand. For some strange reason, I'm the first person he calls on to answer a question about the legality of a proposed rule involving the federal government taxing people who own really big vehicles. I got it correct. It's illegal for the government to do so as it is a non-income direct tax. That would require apportionment and therefore, the government cannot do it. Simple. Why do I seem to be the first person to get asked questions? This is yet another sign that has some meaning. I need to learn how to be a ninja and hide myself with great cunning. Or learn how to do Jedi mind control.
Finally, Bankruptcy with Professor Ware. Fun class. The rolling boulder method of answering questions. I'm one of the first people up. How fun. Next time, I will not sit near the back. Must read the assignment. But I have time.
That's all for now.
I had a really fun Monday. Four classes with three of them in a row.
The day started out with International Trade Regulations featuring Professor Bhala, who seems to be a pretty cool guy. His CV is pretty impressive. A "proper English" education complete with the requisite degrees from Duke, The London School of Economics, Oxford, AND a JD from Harvard. I never took so many freaking notes in one day. Though the explanation on Ricardo's lovely theory was interesting. I think this is foreboding something. Like I'm going to need a bigger notebook or I need to write faster.
Then came Trial Advocacy with Professor Briscoe. Lecture once a week, workshops once a week also. It seems that this will be a fun class. Though I have to wear "courtroom attire" for the workshops. That measns...the dreaded suit with tie most likely. Oh well. I guess once a week for two hours isn't that bad. I mean, it could be sixty, seventy hours a week. Wait, lawyers have to do that. Might as well get used to this.
Federal Income Taxation with Professor Dickinson. Might as well take this class as it will help me later in life. I will learn how to read the Internal Revenue Code, properly known as 26 USC Section 1 et seq (can't get the official section symbol on this blog). According to some research, it got a -6 score on readability. In simple English, it's hard to understand. For some strange reason, I'm the first person he calls on to answer a question about the legality of a proposed rule involving the federal government taxing people who own really big vehicles. I got it correct. It's illegal for the government to do so as it is a non-income direct tax. That would require apportionment and therefore, the government cannot do it. Simple. Why do I seem to be the first person to get asked questions? This is yet another sign that has some meaning. I need to learn how to be a ninja and hide myself with great cunning. Or learn how to do Jedi mind control.
Finally, Bankruptcy with Professor Ware. Fun class. The rolling boulder method of answering questions. I'm one of the first people up. How fun. Next time, I will not sit near the back. Must read the assignment. But I have time.
That's all for now.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
The First Day as a 3L
I'm going to cut out the standard greeting for this post as I don't feel like typing it today. It's the first day of Law School and it is a special school year this time. I am a 3L and in May 2007, I will graduate with a JD from KU Law School...I think. As long as I don't do something really stupid right between now and then, I should be all right.
Like the Kansas Law Student, I got an undergraduate degree from the University of Kansas in 2004. Though my degree was a BA in English and History. And I remember walking down the Hill towards Memorial Stadium and thinking to myself, "Boy, am I going to miss this place." All the great basketball games, the treks into the bowels of Wescoe Hall, the Kansas Union, and all of the other stuff that makes KU...well...KU. Then I realized that I was going to KU Law School next fall and I had to slap myself on the head for being such an idiot. After all, I had gotten the much-wanted "Thick Envelope," the one where you are accepted, in April. Duh.
Not that I actually slapped myself on the head or anything. It would have been on the Jumbotron and that would have looked pretty dumb.
"HEY, look at that idiot slapping himself on the head!"
I think I've gone through a bunch of stuff while at law school. I met some very interesting people and became friends with them. I've been a little more sociable, well, enough not to gain the reputation for being a complete gunner who has to get everything done in the first week and not so much that I'm a guy who is in a haze every day. And I've done a decent job in making my personality known and saying some crazy stuff in class. The people at the law school know what I am talking about. Torts, Con Law, Crim Pro, Evidence...the good ol' days.
It's a good feeling to be a 3L, knowing that I don't have to go through the pains of Lawyering or wondering if I said something stupid in class. I just now wonder if I've managed to scare the living daylights out of people. Just kidding. I really don't care.
My first day wasn't too interesting. I keep thinking it should have been a little bit different. Just went to one class and that was it. Nothing too much. Went home and had lunch. But after it's all done and I go and make an attempt to listen to the "Official Graduation Speech" for the fourth time, I'll probably wish I could stay just a little longer and skip being responsible and forget about the real world for just one more day and become a stand-up comic. Or become a world-famous author and make money writing novels about the law school experience.
It's time to seize the day and make the most out of this final year of law school. Now if I can only get the first day assignments done before the first weekend rolls around. Not likely.
That's all for now.
Like the Kansas Law Student, I got an undergraduate degree from the University of Kansas in 2004. Though my degree was a BA in English and History. And I remember walking down the Hill towards Memorial Stadium and thinking to myself, "Boy, am I going to miss this place." All the great basketball games, the treks into the bowels of Wescoe Hall, the Kansas Union, and all of the other stuff that makes KU...well...KU. Then I realized that I was going to KU Law School next fall and I had to slap myself on the head for being such an idiot. After all, I had gotten the much-wanted "Thick Envelope," the one where you are accepted, in April. Duh.
Not that I actually slapped myself on the head or anything. It would have been on the Jumbotron and that would have looked pretty dumb.
"HEY, look at that idiot slapping himself on the head!"
I think I've gone through a bunch of stuff while at law school. I met some very interesting people and became friends with them. I've been a little more sociable, well, enough not to gain the reputation for being a complete gunner who has to get everything done in the first week and not so much that I'm a guy who is in a haze every day. And I've done a decent job in making my personality known and saying some crazy stuff in class. The people at the law school know what I am talking about. Torts, Con Law, Crim Pro, Evidence...the good ol' days.
It's a good feeling to be a 3L, knowing that I don't have to go through the pains of Lawyering or wondering if I said something stupid in class. I just now wonder if I've managed to scare the living daylights out of people. Just kidding. I really don't care.
My first day wasn't too interesting. I keep thinking it should have been a little bit different. Just went to one class and that was it. Nothing too much. Went home and had lunch. But after it's all done and I go and make an attempt to listen to the "Official Graduation Speech" for the fourth time, I'll probably wish I could stay just a little longer and skip being responsible and forget about the real world for just one more day and become a stand-up comic. Or become a world-famous author and make money writing novels about the law school experience.
It's time to seize the day and make the most out of this final year of law school. Now if I can only get the first day assignments done before the first weekend rolls around. Not likely.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Fly The Friendly Skies
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet where you can find all things related to Un. It's time for an update about how insecure airport security is. And how dumb it can get.
Thanks to the recent liquid explosive scare in London, airport security was tightened just in case there were more terrorists loose. You know, you have to make sure there aren't any other crazy bombers out there. Supposedly, they were going to mix chemicals to make liquid explosives. Acetone peroxide. Thankfully, we have all those neat detectors to discover these horrible chemicals. They should work, right? Nope.
According to the latest report by the Department of Homeland Security, they aren't that effective. When they X-ray your shoes, they really aren't doing much in the detection department. Trained people can detect anomalies, but this method isn't all too effective.
What you really need, however, are explosives trace detectors. Terrorists, if they do use explosives, do not wash their hands very well. So you can swab their hands and nab them. As long as you pick out the right person that arouses suspicion or you happen to pick out the right person in a random search. Yeah, the eenie-minie-moe way.
Besides, the security people can't tell who is suspicious or not. Brown skinned person means terrorist. Forget the angry looking Arabic guy on the airport tram who is sweating and fidgeting while carrying a one-way ticket (Mohammed Atta, by the way). Plus you forget the fact that he told a flight instructor that he "didn't need to learn how to land a plane." And the other intelligence gathered by the FBI and CIA because of rivalries, plus the lazy bosses who wanted to be inefficient on purpose (more money). Not that it should worry you or anything before you fly. Just don't look suspicious. Good luck.
Then again, these are "specially trained" people working the machines. And the much-vaunted baggage handlers and checkers are equally well trained. Not really. Remember when the news reported how some security people (baggage checkers and other people of that sort) were people with criminal records. Convicted of crimes like burglary and robbery? Doesn't that make you feel safe right now? The guy checking your bag was a thief! What? No real background checks? And he's being paid minimum wage by the government to make sure you are safe. Most of the people trained were poorly educated, poorly motivated, and poorly trained, which is not good for you. Feeling lucky?
We could hire better people (those who know what they are doing) or follow the Israeli method of airport security. They hire former intelligence officers, soldiers, and police officers. And they are well educated and well trained to boot also. But we can't. It costs too much. You've got to bail out the airlines due to their incompetence in managing their money. And all those nice corporations need tax breaks also. And we need some extra change to pay for Iraq. I guess you can put a price on security.
Have a nice trip on your next flight! Fly the friendly skies and don't worry about any security problems. The government is on the job. And we all know what a great job they do!
Resume your life. IF you don't fly, the terrorists will have won. The security checks are inconvenient, but necessary for your safety.
That's all for now.
Thanks to the recent liquid explosive scare in London, airport security was tightened just in case there were more terrorists loose. You know, you have to make sure there aren't any other crazy bombers out there. Supposedly, they were going to mix chemicals to make liquid explosives. Acetone peroxide. Thankfully, we have all those neat detectors to discover these horrible chemicals. They should work, right? Nope.
According to the latest report by the Department of Homeland Security, they aren't that effective. When they X-ray your shoes, they really aren't doing much in the detection department. Trained people can detect anomalies, but this method isn't all too effective.
What you really need, however, are explosives trace detectors. Terrorists, if they do use explosives, do not wash their hands very well. So you can swab their hands and nab them. As long as you pick out the right person that arouses suspicion or you happen to pick out the right person in a random search. Yeah, the eenie-minie-moe way.
Besides, the security people can't tell who is suspicious or not. Brown skinned person means terrorist. Forget the angry looking Arabic guy on the airport tram who is sweating and fidgeting while carrying a one-way ticket (Mohammed Atta, by the way). Plus you forget the fact that he told a flight instructor that he "didn't need to learn how to land a plane." And the other intelligence gathered by the FBI and CIA because of rivalries, plus the lazy bosses who wanted to be inefficient on purpose (more money). Not that it should worry you or anything before you fly. Just don't look suspicious. Good luck.
Then again, these are "specially trained" people working the machines. And the much-vaunted baggage handlers and checkers are equally well trained. Not really. Remember when the news reported how some security people (baggage checkers and other people of that sort) were people with criminal records. Convicted of crimes like burglary and robbery? Doesn't that make you feel safe right now? The guy checking your bag was a thief! What? No real background checks? And he's being paid minimum wage by the government to make sure you are safe. Most of the people trained were poorly educated, poorly motivated, and poorly trained, which is not good for you. Feeling lucky?
We could hire better people (those who know what they are doing) or follow the Israeli method of airport security. They hire former intelligence officers, soldiers, and police officers. And they are well educated and well trained to boot also. But we can't. It costs too much. You've got to bail out the airlines due to their incompetence in managing their money. And all those nice corporations need tax breaks also. And we need some extra change to pay for Iraq. I guess you can put a price on security.
Have a nice trip on your next flight! Fly the friendly skies and don't worry about any security problems. The government is on the job. And we all know what a great job they do!
Resume your life. IF you don't fly, the terrorists will have won. The security checks are inconvenient, but necessary for your safety.
That's all for now.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Where Did The Summer Go?
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for another update to this site, which has been sorely non-updated this summer.
It's that time of the year again that most students generally dread. Some people I know actually like this time of the year. Yes, it's the end of summer vacation and it's time to go back to school.
Personally, I don't mind the beginning of the school year. I have time to meet with friends and people I know. I get back into the swing of things by writing articles for the Brief-Brief. I have lots of fun during the school year and I learn lawyer-type stuff for a wonderful future. Woohoo!
But seriously. I like the summer. I don't have to worry about grades or wonder if I have to listen to a not-so-focused lecture. I have freedom.
And to express my wanting of summer to last a little bit longer, a little snippet from a song from Grease Two, the insipid sequel to Grease.
"BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN" by The Four Tops
Woe is me, all summer long I was happy and free.
Save my soul, the board of education took away my parole.
I gotta go back, back, back to school again.
You won't find me 'til the clock strikes three;
I'm gonna be there 'til then...
I gotta go back, back, back to school again.
Whoa, whoa, I gotta go... back to school again!
That's all for now.
It's that time of the year again that most students generally dread. Some people I know actually like this time of the year. Yes, it's the end of summer vacation and it's time to go back to school.
Personally, I don't mind the beginning of the school year. I have time to meet with friends and people I know. I get back into the swing of things by writing articles for the Brief-Brief. I have lots of fun during the school year and I learn lawyer-type stuff for a wonderful future. Woohoo!
But seriously. I like the summer. I don't have to worry about grades or wonder if I have to listen to a not-so-focused lecture. I have freedom.
And to express my wanting of summer to last a little bit longer, a little snippet from a song from Grease Two, the insipid sequel to Grease.
"BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN" by The Four Tops
Woe is me, all summer long I was happy and free.
Save my soul, the board of education took away my parole.
I gotta go back, back, back to school again.
You won't find me 'til the clock strikes three;
I'm gonna be there 'til then...
I gotta go back, back, back to school again.
Whoa, whoa, I gotta go... back to school again!
That's all for now.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Stuff on the Web
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the site for all things related to Un. It's time for yet another update. This time, weird and unusual stories found on the Internet.
The first item is something that only the Japanese could invent. Nine-bladed scissors. Yes, nine-bladed scissors. I'm not sure what to make out of this invention, but I believe that lots of people will get cut with them. And the amount of force needed to actually use them must be insane. Now you can make confetti the easy way. Though cutting along the dotted lines might be harder. Which blade to use and all.
Something you might not have figured out. Milk contains lactose and lactose intolerant people might be allergic to milk. And someone wants to sue milk manufacturers to post a warning label on milk to protect those who may not know they are lactose intolerant. And peanut butter contains peanuts, just so you know. And water may get clothes wet. Maybe the court can use the nine-bladed scissors to cut up the briefs while they are at it...just a suggestion.
And now, more political correctness so nobody feels left out. Just when you thought sports were safe from things like awards for everybody (think "Most Improved" which is a codeword for "You Sucked and you Still Do So We Came Up With This Lame Award To Give To You") no matter how little they participated or how badly they can't play the sport, they are now abolishing scores in youth sports events for kids under nine. Which is why they still have the scorekeeper and everybody still wins. Sorry, there are winners and losers in life and you can't always get what you want. Deal with it. That's how life operates when you're an adult. Just don't kill anyone later.
That's all for now.
The first item is something that only the Japanese could invent. Nine-bladed scissors. Yes, nine-bladed scissors. I'm not sure what to make out of this invention, but I believe that lots of people will get cut with them. And the amount of force needed to actually use them must be insane. Now you can make confetti the easy way. Though cutting along the dotted lines might be harder. Which blade to use and all.
Something you might not have figured out. Milk contains lactose and lactose intolerant people might be allergic to milk. And someone wants to sue milk manufacturers to post a warning label on milk to protect those who may not know they are lactose intolerant. And peanut butter contains peanuts, just so you know. And water may get clothes wet. Maybe the court can use the nine-bladed scissors to cut up the briefs while they are at it...just a suggestion.
And now, more political correctness so nobody feels left out. Just when you thought sports were safe from things like awards for everybody (think "Most Improved" which is a codeword for "You Sucked and you Still Do So We Came Up With This Lame Award To Give To You") no matter how little they participated or how badly they can't play the sport, they are now abolishing scores in youth sports events for kids under nine. Which is why they still have the scorekeeper and everybody still wins. Sorry, there are winners and losers in life and you can't always get what you want. Deal with it. That's how life operates when you're an adult. Just don't kill anyone later.
That's all for now.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
A Belated Update
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Well, the only site that I know of and I'm too lazy to see if there are any other sites out there. If there are, please let me know of any such sites.
Well, it's been a long time since I last updated. No explanations are needed as I just haven't had the time to decently type one up. That's all. And besides, not that much has happened to merit an update. What has been happening in my so-called life?
I got called up for my civic duty--jury duty. I call and they say we don't need you and please call this number again. So I call again on the appointed date. Sorry, we don't need you and please call again. There's a pattern forming... So I call again and this is during my last week of potential jury duty. Sorry, we don't need you, but we need a different group. If you haven't been called up for jury duty, please do not bother calling again for a long while.
Not even one little thank you. Wow, no wonder why people hate jury duty so much. They don't even give a simple pre-recorded thanks for even filling out the form and voluntarily participating.
I know what this means. I get called up again for jury duty multiple times, each of them more inconvenient than the last time. And I get to serve on multiple trials, each one more mind-numbing than the last. Never-ending jury duty purgatory. OK, so I exaggerate, but this has happened to people I know.
I've come up with a story idea that uses up all of the assorted arcana stored in my head. All that information that normal people (I use the phrase loosely, as there is no such thing as "normal" per se) don't normally know. Except those in the military and spy organizations and well-informed pygmy midgets. I'm none of the three groups mentioned, so I am special. That was meant to be sarcasm. A joke, you know. Anyways...
It revolves around a covert counter-terrorist organization that gets sent to a foreign country (most likely an Eastern Bloc country) to stop a violent terrorist organization. Involved with this group is a rogue Special Forces soldier/arms dealer/ex-CIA intelligence officer. The prototypical deep-cover CIA agent that goes bad due to greed. After all, who better than a CIA agent trained to kill to become a terrorist?
Yeah, there are a few issues with plot, but that hasn't stopped me yet. After all, truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense. Even if that means changing the rules of logic.
And finally, an interesting website that makes it possible for me to stretch the bounds of what can be done with common items around the office or someone's house for that matter.
That's all for now.
Well, it's been a long time since I last updated. No explanations are needed as I just haven't had the time to decently type one up. That's all. And besides, not that much has happened to merit an update. What has been happening in my so-called life?
I got called up for my civic duty--jury duty. I call and they say we don't need you and please call this number again. So I call again on the appointed date. Sorry, we don't need you and please call again. There's a pattern forming... So I call again and this is during my last week of potential jury duty. Sorry, we don't need you, but we need a different group. If you haven't been called up for jury duty, please do not bother calling again for a long while.
Not even one little thank you. Wow, no wonder why people hate jury duty so much. They don't even give a simple pre-recorded thanks for even filling out the form and voluntarily participating.
I know what this means. I get called up again for jury duty multiple times, each of them more inconvenient than the last time. And I get to serve on multiple trials, each one more mind-numbing than the last. Never-ending jury duty purgatory. OK, so I exaggerate, but this has happened to people I know.
I've come up with a story idea that uses up all of the assorted arcana stored in my head. All that information that normal people (I use the phrase loosely, as there is no such thing as "normal" per se) don't normally know. Except those in the military and spy organizations and well-informed pygmy midgets. I'm none of the three groups mentioned, so I am special. That was meant to be sarcasm. A joke, you know. Anyways...
It revolves around a covert counter-terrorist organization that gets sent to a foreign country (most likely an Eastern Bloc country) to stop a violent terrorist organization. Involved with this group is a rogue Special Forces soldier/arms dealer/ex-CIA intelligence officer. The prototypical deep-cover CIA agent that goes bad due to greed. After all, who better than a CIA agent trained to kill to become a terrorist?
Yeah, there are a few issues with plot, but that hasn't stopped me yet. After all, truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense. Even if that means changing the rules of logic.
And finally, an interesting website that makes it possible for me to stretch the bounds of what can be done with common items around the office or someone's house for that matter.
That's all for now.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Another Update
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the site for all things related to Un on the Internet. It's time for one of those update thingies that I have neglected to do for about two weeks.
As of this moment, I have lost twenty pounds. Which is nice for a change instead of gaining twnety pounds. This has been a relatively productive summer. Before you get all excited and start clapping, think of this. Given my starting weight, I could lose the weight of an anorexic Olsen twin and still be considered overweight. Go figure. I lose a bony person and am still considered overweight. That's life for you. Then again, it really doesn't look like I've changed that much. Hey, I really should be happy(and I am) that I have lost weight. Now if I can continue to keep on this track when school begins again...
I've got jury duty coming up for the next two weeks. It's my civic duty. Sort of like voting. No cases coming up yet, but I think I might have some later. Probably some misdemeanors and other minor cases. It shouldn't be too bad. Hopefully, I won't end up doing a case that takes a year out of my life. I'd hate for that to happen.
Been writing--well, making a feeble attempt--at writing a bizarre novel. One of those action-adventure things that make full use of all the strange knowledge I have floating in my head. Go figure. A mild-mannered law school student writing a book involving blood and guts and lots of explosions and things that go boom. A nice change of pace.
That's all for now.
As of this moment, I have lost twenty pounds. Which is nice for a change instead of gaining twnety pounds. This has been a relatively productive summer. Before you get all excited and start clapping, think of this. Given my starting weight, I could lose the weight of an anorexic Olsen twin and still be considered overweight. Go figure. I lose a bony person and am still considered overweight. That's life for you. Then again, it really doesn't look like I've changed that much. Hey, I really should be happy(and I am) that I have lost weight. Now if I can continue to keep on this track when school begins again...
I've got jury duty coming up for the next two weeks. It's my civic duty. Sort of like voting. No cases coming up yet, but I think I might have some later. Probably some misdemeanors and other minor cases. It shouldn't be too bad. Hopefully, I won't end up doing a case that takes a year out of my life. I'd hate for that to happen.
Been writing--well, making a feeble attempt--at writing a bizarre novel. One of those action-adventure things that make full use of all the strange knowledge I have floating in my head. Go figure. A mild-mannered law school student writing a book involving blood and guts and lots of explosions and things that go boom. A nice change of pace.
That's all for now.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
It's An Update
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the site for all things related to Un on the Internet. It's time for one of those updates that somehow bring you back to this site.
I recently went excercising at a rec center. After the customary cycling warm up, I decide to jog on the eliptical machine. Not the ordinary threadmill, but the high tech machine that tells you electronically that you are not moving fast enough. Sort of like the electronic drill sarge. Or the trainer that doesn't let you give up if you slow down. I guess that I am a person who enjoys this sort of thing. Anyways...
So I'm getting the two miles done and I strike up a conversation with a nice woman that I generally see on Saturdays while at the center. She and her husband and the rest of her family are there on Saturdays. She notes that I'm on THAT machine--the hard one--and that I must be crazy.
And while pounding out the two miles--I'm now done with 0.87 miles and have 1.13 left--some girl and a guy walk in. For some reason, the girl recognizes me and waves. I get the odd feeling that I should know this person and that I have seen her before once in my life. Maybe multiple times.
And I'm left wondering if I should wave or ask who they are or whatnot. It would be embarassing to say, "Hi, I don't know who you are, but I think I know you. What's your name?" I probably should have, but it's kind of hard to think and exercise at the same time, especially when you are accident prone as I am.
I do the friendly thing and make an attempt at waving and saying hello while trying not to fall face forward onto the electronic panel. I think it's common courtesy to be friendly, even if you have the vaguest clue as to the identity of the person. But I also believe in safety and making the full attempt would have led to bodily injury to self. I'm one of those people who think that I'll still be clumsy, even if I lost weight and had muscle. Hey, I can't help it. Hand-eye coordination still eludes me.
And this guy and girl go around the weight room trying the equipment while I do my two miles. And they leave and she waves goodbye. And I still don't know who she is and I still don't know where I've seen her before. I think I went to school with her in college or law school. I can remember and recall the first hundred decimal digits of pi, but I suck with names and faces. Go figure.
Oh well, at least I got my two miles done, plus an addition mile when I got home. Now, if I can only remember who that person was...
That's all for now.
I recently went excercising at a rec center. After the customary cycling warm up, I decide to jog on the eliptical machine. Not the ordinary threadmill, but the high tech machine that tells you electronically that you are not moving fast enough. Sort of like the electronic drill sarge. Or the trainer that doesn't let you give up if you slow down. I guess that I am a person who enjoys this sort of thing. Anyways...
So I'm getting the two miles done and I strike up a conversation with a nice woman that I generally see on Saturdays while at the center. She and her husband and the rest of her family are there on Saturdays. She notes that I'm on THAT machine--the hard one--and that I must be crazy.
And while pounding out the two miles--I'm now done with 0.87 miles and have 1.13 left--some girl and a guy walk in. For some reason, the girl recognizes me and waves. I get the odd feeling that I should know this person and that I have seen her before once in my life. Maybe multiple times.
And I'm left wondering if I should wave or ask who they are or whatnot. It would be embarassing to say, "Hi, I don't know who you are, but I think I know you. What's your name?" I probably should have, but it's kind of hard to think and exercise at the same time, especially when you are accident prone as I am.
I do the friendly thing and make an attempt at waving and saying hello while trying not to fall face forward onto the electronic panel. I think it's common courtesy to be friendly, even if you have the vaguest clue as to the identity of the person. But I also believe in safety and making the full attempt would have led to bodily injury to self. I'm one of those people who think that I'll still be clumsy, even if I lost weight and had muscle. Hey, I can't help it. Hand-eye coordination still eludes me.
And this guy and girl go around the weight room trying the equipment while I do my two miles. And they leave and she waves goodbye. And I still don't know who she is and I still don't know where I've seen her before. I think I went to school with her in college or law school. I can remember and recall the first hundred decimal digits of pi, but I suck with names and faces. Go figure.
Oh well, at least I got my two miles done, plus an addition mile when I got home. Now, if I can only remember who that person was...
That's all for now.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
The 4th of July
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all subjects related to Un. It's time to do one of those update thingies that I've neglected to do for a while.
It's the 4th of July. I've always liked this holiday. It involves the celebration of the United States (which actually occured on July 2, 1776 instead of July 4. One of the Founding Fathers wrote a letter saying July 2 will go down in history.) and fireworks. Yes, those multi-colored devices that go BOOM. I think I have too much of a fascination with things that go BOOM or flames.
I love fireworks. The bigger they are, the better. The fireworks ban sort of puts a damper on things, but hey, in general, it's a reasonable law. Considering that certain people do really dumb things with fireworks like stick their face over them or hold them in their hands or burn their/other people's houses down to cindery ashes. Not that I've had problems with fireworks.
One of the finer memories I have about fireworks is the 4th of July I spent in Bostom. I saw the Boston Pops perform and that was pretty cool. Though I came too late to get a good seat on the grass by the stage, it wasn't all too bad. Except for the part where Senator Ted Kennedy started speaking. And they zoomed in really close to his face and projected it onto gigantic Jumbotron screens. Too much detail in my opinion. A couple sitting by commented on how "greasy" he looked, just like the stereotypical politician (They were from Boston, by the ways). And another thing, never walk by the cannons when they set them off. Actually, they were 105mm howitzers loaded with blanks, but those suckers are loud. Not that I can recognize guns by looking at them. By the ways, Hollywood movies never get guns right. Always identifying them incorrectly and using them like rank amateurs. Real pros never hold them that way. Looks cool, but it gets you injured or killed in real life.
Ah, how great it was. And another thing, one would expect the Boston subway system to run later hours on the 4th of July. Half a million people need a way to get home, but they kept normal business hours. That meant at least a two mile walk back to Harvard. That was OK.
So, safely enjoy the 4th of July and don't injure yourself or destroy property or get into trouble. Remember this. The holiday is not about fireworks or cooking outdoors. It's about celebrating this country's independence.
That's all for now.
It's the 4th of July. I've always liked this holiday. It involves the celebration of the United States (which actually occured on July 2, 1776 instead of July 4. One of the Founding Fathers wrote a letter saying July 2 will go down in history.) and fireworks. Yes, those multi-colored devices that go BOOM. I think I have too much of a fascination with things that go BOOM or flames.
I love fireworks. The bigger they are, the better. The fireworks ban sort of puts a damper on things, but hey, in general, it's a reasonable law. Considering that certain people do really dumb things with fireworks like stick their face over them or hold them in their hands or burn their/other people's houses down to cindery ashes. Not that I've had problems with fireworks.
One of the finer memories I have about fireworks is the 4th of July I spent in Bostom. I saw the Boston Pops perform and that was pretty cool. Though I came too late to get a good seat on the grass by the stage, it wasn't all too bad. Except for the part where Senator Ted Kennedy started speaking. And they zoomed in really close to his face and projected it onto gigantic Jumbotron screens. Too much detail in my opinion. A couple sitting by commented on how "greasy" he looked, just like the stereotypical politician (They were from Boston, by the ways). And another thing, never walk by the cannons when they set them off. Actually, they were 105mm howitzers loaded with blanks, but those suckers are loud. Not that I can recognize guns by looking at them. By the ways, Hollywood movies never get guns right. Always identifying them incorrectly and using them like rank amateurs. Real pros never hold them that way. Looks cool, but it gets you injured or killed in real life.
Ah, how great it was. And another thing, one would expect the Boston subway system to run later hours on the 4th of July. Half a million people need a way to get home, but they kept normal business hours. That meant at least a two mile walk back to Harvard. That was OK.
So, safely enjoy the 4th of July and don't injure yourself or destroy property or get into trouble. Remember this. The holiday is not about fireworks or cooking outdoors. It's about celebrating this country's independence.
That's all for now.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Exercise
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet that I know of devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update on how things are going in my life.
It seems like every year I tell myself that I am going to exercise and lose some weight. And it seems like every year, I start off well and after a while, I fall off the path. And I regain everything back.
But this time, I am not going to fall off the path. No siree, I'm not going to be fat anymore.
It's not that I'm woefully ignorant and I think that I look like a marathon runner or a weightlifter. I know I'm fat. I've been aware of that fact for a long time, may years. I guess that until now, I just never did anything about changing the situation I was in. I used to be thin but I let my weight weasel-creep up to what I weigh now, which is not a very nice number unless you are referring to an IQ that is unhumanly high. The "I'm going to lose weight, but hey, are those chocolate chip cookies...I love cookies. I can lose weight later" problem. My IQ is quite high (one in 5 million have an IQ higher than mine) but not as high as my weight.
Weasel-creep is a bad thing. You look at yourself and you never notice how you're slowly gaining weight. And one day, you wake up and your mind is screaming, "JESUS FREAKING CHRIST, WHERE THE HELL DID THOSE POUNDS COME FROM? WHO PUT ME IN THIS BODY? WHERE DID MY BODY GO?" And I foolishly allowed that to happen. It really sucks since I could have done a whole lot earlier and prevented this from getting to the point it is right now.
Since I started exercising (jogging and lifting weights), I have lost about 15 pounds. Which is a nice start. But I still look the same, but maybe a little thinner looking around the face. It's like taking five gallons of water out of a Olympic-sized swimming pool. "Are those cheekbones? Where did those come from?" At least my clothes fit a lot better and I can wear stuff I haven't worn in several years.
I shall be less of a person (physically) by the end of this summer. Maybe I'll be able to make skinny jokes about myself instead of fat jokes.
That's all for now.
It seems like every year I tell myself that I am going to exercise and lose some weight. And it seems like every year, I start off well and after a while, I fall off the path. And I regain everything back.
But this time, I am not going to fall off the path. No siree, I'm not going to be fat anymore.
It's not that I'm woefully ignorant and I think that I look like a marathon runner or a weightlifter. I know I'm fat. I've been aware of that fact for a long time, may years. I guess that until now, I just never did anything about changing the situation I was in. I used to be thin but I let my weight weasel-creep up to what I weigh now, which is not a very nice number unless you are referring to an IQ that is unhumanly high. The "I'm going to lose weight, but hey, are those chocolate chip cookies...I love cookies. I can lose weight later" problem. My IQ is quite high (one in 5 million have an IQ higher than mine) but not as high as my weight.
Weasel-creep is a bad thing. You look at yourself and you never notice how you're slowly gaining weight. And one day, you wake up and your mind is screaming, "JESUS FREAKING CHRIST, WHERE THE HELL DID THOSE POUNDS COME FROM? WHO PUT ME IN THIS BODY? WHERE DID MY BODY GO?" And I foolishly allowed that to happen. It really sucks since I could have done a whole lot earlier and prevented this from getting to the point it is right now.
Since I started exercising (jogging and lifting weights), I have lost about 15 pounds. Which is a nice start. But I still look the same, but maybe a little thinner looking around the face. It's like taking five gallons of water out of a Olympic-sized swimming pool. "Are those cheekbones? Where did those come from?" At least my clothes fit a lot better and I can wear stuff I haven't worn in several years.
I shall be less of a person (physically) by the end of this summer. Maybe I'll be able to make skinny jokes about myself instead of fat jokes.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
It's Wednesday Again...
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for another update. One that will require little effort from me as I can't think of anything original. So I'll post songs lyrics that have Wednesday in the title.
"Wednesday Again" by the Selfies
"It's a common mistake
Brilliant in most obvious ways
What did you expect
Nutured from your earliest days
You made a perfect circle
All around the world it occured
The sight of inspiration
Then again my vision was .... blurred
Maybe Sunday things will go your way
Maybe Monday you'll wake up
Got too many enemies to make
Maybe Tuesday you'll wake up
Now it's Wednesday again
Thursday is the worst day
So on Friday you can earn your pay
Maybe Saturday
Some say it's surrounding
Some say it's a chemical flaw
False adversting
Knee deep in the thick of it all
Your feeling impaired
Your legs won't walk right
Down the hall at the stairs
You've got a book that you need to read
Maybe Sunday things will go your way
Maybe Monday you'll wake up
Got too many enemies to make
Maybe Tuesday you'll wake up
Now it's Wednesday again
Thursday is the worst day
So on Friday you can earn your pay
Maybe Saturday
Is that what kind of person you are?
Is this what you long to be?
It takes all your time and effort
For a moment of clarity
Is that what kind of person you are?
Is this what you long to be?
It takes all your time and your effort
Is this what kind of person you are?"
Maybe Sunday things will go your way
Maybe Monday you'll wake up
Got too many enemies to make
Maybe Tuesday you'll wake up
Now it's Wednesday again
Thursday is the worst day
So on Friday you can earn your pay
Maybe Saturday
"Wednesday's Song" by John Frusciante
You'll make it through the day
See things another way and behold
Listen to wednesday's song
This night you go home alone
How the sane go upright
How you look another night
You're back under my hat
And even knowing that you're a whore
Nothing ever meant more
That switching rooms through a door
Out into another one
Frames flash inward
And you know
I have seen the world enough
I've drowned in my thoughts alot
I canceled heaven I concede
Another word to say
When everything's O.K you go down
And pulling up the slack
And never coming back
An alarm
Ringing to set the sun
No one ever becomes
What others thought they shoul've been
Inside they're what they can see
You know I do miss this girl
To show I am in a swirl of sun
Being what I've got
The joy
I canceled heaven I concede
Everything that I belive
I canceled heaven I concede
There aren't that many songs with Wednesday in them...unless I'm wrong of course. I probably am.
That's all for now.
"Wednesday Again" by the Selfies
"It's a common mistake
Brilliant in most obvious ways
What did you expect
Nutured from your earliest days
You made a perfect circle
All around the world it occured
The sight of inspiration
Then again my vision was .... blurred
Maybe Sunday things will go your way
Maybe Monday you'll wake up
Got too many enemies to make
Maybe Tuesday you'll wake up
Now it's Wednesday again
Thursday is the worst day
So on Friday you can earn your pay
Maybe Saturday
Some say it's surrounding
Some say it's a chemical flaw
False adversting
Knee deep in the thick of it all
Your feeling impaired
Your legs won't walk right
Down the hall at the stairs
You've got a book that you need to read
Maybe Sunday things will go your way
Maybe Monday you'll wake up
Got too many enemies to make
Maybe Tuesday you'll wake up
Now it's Wednesday again
Thursday is the worst day
So on Friday you can earn your pay
Maybe Saturday
Is that what kind of person you are?
Is this what you long to be?
It takes all your time and effort
For a moment of clarity
Is that what kind of person you are?
Is this what you long to be?
It takes all your time and your effort
Is this what kind of person you are?"
Maybe Sunday things will go your way
Maybe Monday you'll wake up
Got too many enemies to make
Maybe Tuesday you'll wake up
Now it's Wednesday again
Thursday is the worst day
So on Friday you can earn your pay
Maybe Saturday
"Wednesday's Song" by John Frusciante
You'll make it through the day
See things another way and behold
Listen to wednesday's song
This night you go home alone
How the sane go upright
How you look another night
You're back under my hat
And even knowing that you're a whore
Nothing ever meant more
That switching rooms through a door
Out into another one
Frames flash inward
And you know
I have seen the world enough
I've drowned in my thoughts alot
I canceled heaven I concede
Another word to say
When everything's O.K you go down
And pulling up the slack
And never coming back
An alarm
Ringing to set the sun
No one ever becomes
What others thought they shoul've been
Inside they're what they can see
You know I do miss this girl
To show I am in a swirl of sun
Being what I've got
The joy
I canceled heaven I concede
Everything that I belive
I canceled heaven I concede
There aren't that many songs with Wednesday in them...unless I'm wrong of course. I probably am.
That's all for now.
Friday, June 16, 2006
I Came, I Performed, I Did OK
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for one of those updates that make this site so wonderfully Un-esque.
As I stated earlier in my last post, I would give an update on how things went with the Open Mic thing at Stanford and Sons. The quick and easy version: It went pretty well. People laughed at my jokes and I used up all three minutes. The end. You now can leave.
But you all probably want something more than that. Well, here it is, in glorious technicolor detail. With some ramblings and tangents to other topics. Buckle up cause it might take a while of your time. As if you have anything better to do. If you did, you wouldn't be reading this blog, now would you?
I arrived there at 6:30, as I am a big stickler on being at places early. Nobody was there except the guy running the place and another relatively new guy at this. Just my luck. When 7:00 rolled around, nearly everyone was there (at least those who were going to perform). The pre-comedy meeting should have started by then, but then again, nothing ever starts on time. So I got to talk to a lady from Arkansas who became a Tibetan Buddhist and a guy who was perpetually drunk. I always seem to manage to meet the strangest yet nicest people around.
A quick tangent. Stanford and Sons is smoky. People smoke cigarettes like they're about to disappear the next day. And the booze flows. Real gritty place. It's not the nice spic and span places you find in New York or Chicago or Los Angeles. Which makes it so declasse. God, I sound so weird right now. Anyways...
It's finally showtime and people are giving me advice. This crazy guy who has the nickname of Chicken and who starred in cinematic classics like XXX and Blackhawk Down. The dude is crazy and will do anything for a laugh. And did he make people laugh by bumping and grinding in front of a guy's face and pretending he was having sex with Bigfoot. Go figure. Some of the people were not so funny and some were funny. One girl had a lighter shaped like a penis. Strange. Real strange. Yadda yadda yadda. Blah blah blah.
It's my turn. So I go on stage and begin with the classic of: "I've got three minutes to make you laugh. Just like having sex. But with an extra two and a half minutes." After that, it went swimmingly well. At least so I thought and so did the rest of the audience.
Some comedy tips. At least stuff I've figured out. Jokes that are too cerebral (i.e. jokes about stuff like the Bhagavad Gita) are not funny. It is a subject that few people will understand. Jokes about sex, however, are pretty funny. You can't go wrong with them unless you're in Westburo Baptist Church. That's a different story. Making fun of yourself is a good thing as if you can laugh at yourself, people can laugh at you. If you do go into matters that are racist or even stereotypical, well, be careful. Some people get offended by that. If, however, you are making Asian jokes and you are Asian, well, that's different. You're making fun of yourself technically so the audience thinks it's cool to laugh. The use of the certain four letter words is fine. But using them over and over again in the same sentence like "I'm like what the is that is doing? Is that on crack?" gets tedious and therefore not as funny as you think it is. I do use profanity, but using it that much to "sound" funny, no. And finally, be yourself, plow on through, and have fun. That's the important thing. If you're confident and you're having fun, the audience will laugh sooner or later. Maybe it might be when you walk off stage because you stunk worse than a runover skunk in the middle of the highway during a summer day.
Yes, I made jokes about Asian stereotypes like eating dogs, having an Asian mother, and other stuff of that ilk. But I made it funny. I did, however, reached the time limit of three minutes. The emcee said that I did a damn good job for a first-timer at Open Mic. And he got into the act by thanking me for not doing three minutes of calculus jokes. Oddly enough, I could make three minutes worth of calculus jokes, but that's not funny. Unless you're a mathematician.
It was a fun, albeit way too smoky experience. I will have to wash my clothes thoroughly to get rid of the stench of cigarette smoke out of them. That's the only downside.
That's all for now.
As I stated earlier in my last post, I would give an update on how things went with the Open Mic thing at Stanford and Sons. The quick and easy version: It went pretty well. People laughed at my jokes and I used up all three minutes. The end. You now can leave.
But you all probably want something more than that. Well, here it is, in glorious technicolor detail. With some ramblings and tangents to other topics. Buckle up cause it might take a while of your time. As if you have anything better to do. If you did, you wouldn't be reading this blog, now would you?
I arrived there at 6:30, as I am a big stickler on being at places early. Nobody was there except the guy running the place and another relatively new guy at this. Just my luck. When 7:00 rolled around, nearly everyone was there (at least those who were going to perform). The pre-comedy meeting should have started by then, but then again, nothing ever starts on time. So I got to talk to a lady from Arkansas who became a Tibetan Buddhist and a guy who was perpetually drunk. I always seem to manage to meet the strangest yet nicest people around.
A quick tangent. Stanford and Sons is smoky. People smoke cigarettes like they're about to disappear the next day. And the booze flows. Real gritty place. It's not the nice spic and span places you find in New York or Chicago or Los Angeles. Which makes it so declasse. God, I sound so weird right now. Anyways...
It's finally showtime and people are giving me advice. This crazy guy who has the nickname of Chicken and who starred in cinematic classics like XXX and Blackhawk Down. The dude is crazy and will do anything for a laugh. And did he make people laugh by bumping and grinding in front of a guy's face and pretending he was having sex with Bigfoot. Go figure. Some of the people were not so funny and some were funny. One girl had a lighter shaped like a penis. Strange. Real strange. Yadda yadda yadda. Blah blah blah.
It's my turn. So I go on stage and begin with the classic of: "I've got three minutes to make you laugh. Just like having sex. But with an extra two and a half minutes." After that, it went swimmingly well. At least so I thought and so did the rest of the audience.
Some comedy tips. At least stuff I've figured out. Jokes that are too cerebral (i.e. jokes about stuff like the Bhagavad Gita) are not funny. It is a subject that few people will understand. Jokes about sex, however, are pretty funny. You can't go wrong with them unless you're in Westburo Baptist Church. That's a different story. Making fun of yourself is a good thing as if you can laugh at yourself, people can laugh at you. If you do go into matters that are racist or even stereotypical, well, be careful. Some people get offended by that. If, however, you are making Asian jokes and you are Asian, well, that's different. You're making fun of yourself technically so the audience thinks it's cool to laugh. The use of the certain four letter words is fine. But using them over and over again in the same sentence like "I'm like what the
Yes, I made jokes about Asian stereotypes like eating dogs, having an Asian mother, and other stuff of that ilk. But I made it funny. I did, however, reached the time limit of three minutes. The emcee said that I did a damn good job for a first-timer at Open Mic. And he got into the act by thanking me for not doing three minutes of calculus jokes. Oddly enough, I could make three minutes worth of calculus jokes, but that's not funny. Unless you're a mathematician.
It was a fun, albeit way too smoky experience. I will have to wash my clothes thoroughly to get rid of the stench of cigarette smoke out of them. That's the only downside.
That's all for now.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Performing at Stanford and Sons
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update. A quick and short one.
I called Stanford and Sons five minutes ago and I'm on the list. So I am performing tonight at 8:00 PM. This will be the first time I try some stuff out. So this will be interesting. I will either be funny or not funny. That's it. Please come and watch. I beg of you. Will report what happens.
That's all for now.
I called Stanford and Sons five minutes ago and I'm on the list. So I am performing tonight at 8:00 PM. This will be the first time I try some stuff out. So this will be interesting. I will either be funny or not funny. That's it. Please come and watch. I beg of you. Will report what happens.
That's all for now.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Open Mic at Stanford and Sons
"Humor is just another defense against the universe."
-Mel Brooks
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Or so what I have been led to believe given the Internet searches I have done lately.
Tomorrow, I embark on something that I have wanted to do and that is called stand-up comedy. I am signing up to perform a three-minute stand-up comedy routine at Stanford and Sons, located in Overland Park, or the OP. It's an open mic night where wannabe comedians go out on stage and prove they've got a sense of humor.
In all reality, I should be more focused on getting a job for next summer, studying for the MPRE and the Bar Exam--activities I have not done so well on. My track record is not so great. Given that I should graduate from law school (assuming I don't fail or get expelled) next year, these activities should be a number one priority in my life. But I've got to perform and this seems like a safer and much better alternative than cracking jokes while cross-examining a witness in a trial or trying to weasel my way out of a future traffic ticket.
I don't know what's going on in my head at this time. I have this urge to be a comic instead of a lawyer despite my dislike of talking or doing anything in front of large(two or more) groups of people. And being a comic requires just that.
If I do make it on the sign-up list, the showtime is 8:00 PM. And there will be the nervous waiting. And the lingering doubts of whether or not I have decent material and if I will bomb. Hopefully, if I do make it on the list, I will do well and make some people laugh. If not, there is always the June 27th date. And I shall have to suppress the urge until then.
That's all for now.
-Mel Brooks
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Or so what I have been led to believe given the Internet searches I have done lately.
Tomorrow, I embark on something that I have wanted to do and that is called stand-up comedy. I am signing up to perform a three-minute stand-up comedy routine at Stanford and Sons, located in Overland Park, or the OP. It's an open mic night where wannabe comedians go out on stage and prove they've got a sense of humor.
In all reality, I should be more focused on getting a job for next summer, studying for the MPRE and the Bar Exam--activities I have not done so well on. My track record is not so great. Given that I should graduate from law school (assuming I don't fail or get expelled) next year, these activities should be a number one priority in my life. But I've got to perform and this seems like a safer and much better alternative than cracking jokes while cross-examining a witness in a trial or trying to weasel my way out of a future traffic ticket.
I don't know what's going on in my head at this time. I have this urge to be a comic instead of a lawyer despite my dislike of talking or doing anything in front of large(two or more) groups of people. And being a comic requires just that.
If I do make it on the sign-up list, the showtime is 8:00 PM. And there will be the nervous waiting. And the lingering doubts of whether or not I have decent material and if I will bomb. Hopefully, if I do make it on the list, I will do well and make some people laugh. If not, there is always the June 27th date. And I shall have to suppress the urge until then.
That's all for now.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
I Can't Dance, I Can't Walk
"No, I cant dance, I cant talk.
The only thing about me is the way I walk.
No, I cant dance, I cant sing
Im just standing here selling everything."
-Genesis, "I Can't Dance"
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un, which is my favorite topic. It's time for an update to this little blog.
You may have noticed the song lyrics posted so prominently on the top of this post and there is a reason for it. I went out and took dance lessons in various forms of country dancing like the two-step, the polka, the waltz, etc. This is despite the fact that I have no rhythm, no sense of timing, no sense of balance, no grace, and well, let's just face it, I have two left feet.
I've always known that I can't control my body very well. I was always the kid who got picked last in sports. I have no hand-eye coordination. Physical activities are not my forte. Give me a physics problem to solve and I can give you an answer in no time at all. Give me the task of learning how to dance a waltz, let alone walk in a straight line, I'm pretty much hopeless. OK, put bluntly, I am S-C-R-E-W-E-D. No way is that possible. I think some of it is due to my time in the school of engineering when I was in college. If you look at the feet of engineering majors, they walk with one foot sticking out, generally the right one. Honest to God, it's true. I've noticed it. Just look carefully the next time you see an engineering student or an engineer for that matter.
And yet, despite this, I actually signed up for a dancing class. I'm not exactly sure why I signed up. Maybe some irrational part of my brain thinks that this will be a good experience and it will prove to be useful later in life. Like when, if it does happen, I get married. Whenever that happens. Or maybe earlier, like if I happen to meet a girl who like doing the two-step and I'm the only person around. Or the only one willing to go on the dance floor. And I sweep her off her feet with my natural charm and suave dance moves. Yeah right. Yes, that's another event that seems unlikely to happen in my life. Do you note the sarcastic/depricating humor that infests these posts. I digress.
I don't have lofty expectations. I don't expect, once I've taken all the lessons, to walk upon air or to move with the grace of Fred Astaire. If that happens, that would be a major miracle. Nope. If I come out of the classes without knocking out, killing, maiming or injuring a person, that's good. I would be happy with that, as hospital bills can be so expensive. If I come out of the classes with even the tiniest iota more of grace and ending up with 1.99 left feet, that's an accomplishment.
To summarize what happened at the dance class, I did not injure or kill anyone due to my clumsiness. Quick-quick-slow-slow. Triple step. Ten step, which involves lots of heel tapping and stomping. I do, however, tend to drift to the left, but I generally have good form. Which is a start...somewhat. Hey, I can't complain too much. All in all, it was a fine experience. I actually kind of liked it.
That's all for now.
The only thing about me is the way I walk.
No, I cant dance, I cant sing
Im just standing here selling everything."
-Genesis, "I Can't Dance"
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un, which is my favorite topic. It's time for an update to this little blog.
You may have noticed the song lyrics posted so prominently on the top of this post and there is a reason for it. I went out and took dance lessons in various forms of country dancing like the two-step, the polka, the waltz, etc. This is despite the fact that I have no rhythm, no sense of timing, no sense of balance, no grace, and well, let's just face it, I have two left feet.
I've always known that I can't control my body very well. I was always the kid who got picked last in sports. I have no hand-eye coordination. Physical activities are not my forte. Give me a physics problem to solve and I can give you an answer in no time at all. Give me the task of learning how to dance a waltz, let alone walk in a straight line, I'm pretty much hopeless. OK, put bluntly, I am S-C-R-E-W-E-D. No way is that possible. I think some of it is due to my time in the school of engineering when I was in college. If you look at the feet of engineering majors, they walk with one foot sticking out, generally the right one. Honest to God, it's true. I've noticed it. Just look carefully the next time you see an engineering student or an engineer for that matter.
And yet, despite this, I actually signed up for a dancing class. I'm not exactly sure why I signed up. Maybe some irrational part of my brain thinks that this will be a good experience and it will prove to be useful later in life. Like when, if it does happen, I get married. Whenever that happens. Or maybe earlier, like if I happen to meet a girl who like doing the two-step and I'm the only person around. Or the only one willing to go on the dance floor. And I sweep her off her feet with my natural charm and suave dance moves. Yeah right. Yes, that's another event that seems unlikely to happen in my life. Do you note the sarcastic/depricating humor that infests these posts. I digress.
I don't have lofty expectations. I don't expect, once I've taken all the lessons, to walk upon air or to move with the grace of Fred Astaire. If that happens, that would be a major miracle. Nope. If I come out of the classes without knocking out, killing, maiming or injuring a person, that's good. I would be happy with that, as hospital bills can be so expensive. If I come out of the classes with even the tiniest iota more of grace and ending up with 1.99 left feet, that's an accomplishment.
To summarize what happened at the dance class, I did not injure or kill anyone due to my clumsiness. Quick-quick-slow-slow. Triple step. Ten step, which involves lots of heel tapping and stomping. I do, however, tend to drift to the left, but I generally have good form. Which is a start...somewhat. Hey, I can't complain too much. All in all, it was a fine experience. I actually kind of liked it.
That's all for now.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Standup Comedy
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for one of those updates that make it seem like this site is still active and not becoming stale like a week-old loaf of bread left out on the counter.
I seriously thinking about doing stand-up comedy. Yes, you heard me right, a stand-up comic. In addition to being a lawyer. Go figure.
And why, you may ask? For several simple reasons. One, I am funny. Well, many people have told me that they find me funny (humorous, not crazy, though I've been called that also). This is after listening to me perform at two Pub Nights and an amateur comedy competition. Two, I find being funny and performing in front of people to be something I enjoy doing. One could say that I find the experience of performing funny material in front of people less of a stressful event than arguing a summary judgment in front of a law school professor. This does not bode too well for a future legal career in front of juries. And three, well, did I mention I get this high when I perform. While I'm being funny, I can't stop it. Everything just goes away and I can do what I want. It's this weird feeling.
One of these days, I'm going to an open-mic night at Stanford's Comedy Club. Just perform a three minute routine and if it goes well, it goes well. If not, hey, that's how it goes. It should be an interesting experience.
That's all for now.
I seriously thinking about doing stand-up comedy. Yes, you heard me right, a stand-up comic. In addition to being a lawyer. Go figure.
And why, you may ask? For several simple reasons. One, I am funny. Well, many people have told me that they find me funny (humorous, not crazy, though I've been called that also). This is after listening to me perform at two Pub Nights and an amateur comedy competition. Two, I find being funny and performing in front of people to be something I enjoy doing. One could say that I find the experience of performing funny material in front of people less of a stressful event than arguing a summary judgment in front of a law school professor. This does not bode too well for a future legal career in front of juries. And three, well, did I mention I get this high when I perform. While I'm being funny, I can't stop it. Everything just goes away and I can do what I want. It's this weird feeling.
One of these days, I'm going to an open-mic night at Stanford's Comedy Club. Just perform a three minute routine and if it goes well, it goes well. If not, hey, that's how it goes. It should be an interesting experience.
That's all for now.
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