I Can't Dance, I Can't Walk

"No, I cant dance, I cant talk.
The only thing about me is the way I walk.
No, I cant dance, I cant sing
Im just standing here selling everything."
-Genesis, "I Can't Dance"


Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un, which is my favorite topic. It's time for an update to this little blog.

You may have noticed the song lyrics posted so prominently on the top of this post and there is a reason for it. I went out and took dance lessons in various forms of country dancing like the two-step, the polka, the waltz, etc. This is despite the fact that I have no rhythm, no sense of timing, no sense of balance, no grace, and well, let's just face it, I have two left feet.
I've always known that I can't control my body very well. I was always the kid who got picked last in sports. I have no hand-eye coordination. Physical activities are not my forte. Give me a physics problem to solve and I can give you an answer in no time at all. Give me the task of learning how to dance a waltz, let alone walk in a straight line, I'm pretty much hopeless. OK, put bluntly, I am S-C-R-E-W-E-D. No way is that possible. I think some of it is due to my time in the school of engineering when I was in college. If you look at the feet of engineering majors, they walk with one foot sticking out, generally the right one. Honest to God, it's true. I've noticed it. Just look carefully the next time you see an engineering student or an engineer for that matter.
And yet, despite this, I actually signed up for a dancing class. I'm not exactly sure why I signed up. Maybe some irrational part of my brain thinks that this will be a good experience and it will prove to be useful later in life. Like when, if it does happen, I get married. Whenever that happens. Or maybe earlier, like if I happen to meet a girl who like doing the two-step and I'm the only person around. Or the only one willing to go on the dance floor. And I sweep her off her feet with my natural charm and suave dance moves. Yeah right. Yes, that's another event that seems unlikely to happen in my life. Do you note the sarcastic/depricating humor that infests these posts. I digress.
I don't have lofty expectations. I don't expect, once I've taken all the lessons, to walk upon air or to move with the grace of Fred Astaire. If that happens, that would be a major miracle. Nope. If I come out of the classes without knocking out, killing, maiming or injuring a person, that's good. I would be happy with that, as hospital bills can be so expensive. If I come out of the classes with even the tiniest iota more of grace and ending up with 1.99 left feet, that's an accomplishment.
To summarize what happened at the dance class, I did not injure or kill anyone due to my clumsiness. Quick-quick-slow-slow. Triple step. Ten step, which involves lots of heel tapping and stomping. I do, however, tend to drift to the left, but I generally have good form. Which is a start...somewhat. Hey, I can't complain too much. All in all, it was a fine experience. I actually kind of liked it.

That's all for now.