tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131808592024-03-07T02:54:19.427-06:00The Un-ZoneThe official site of all things Un with a home base in the mini-Twilight Zone called Kansas, but without a catchy theme song and Rod Sterling. Yeah, and a lot more wheat.J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.comBlogger291125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-68399116337935701092008-03-27T20:14:00.001-05:002008-03-27T20:51:16.650-05:00Random Stuff<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, it's all about all that random stuff floating in my head that I find interesting. Which doesn't amount to much. Unless you're strangely fascinated with what's going on in my so-called life. Not that there's anything of interest going on.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I started running again. I stopped running during the winter since my left knee felt stiff after twenty or thirty minutes while going at a relatively brisk pace (at least for me). And then I stopped completely. Normally, I would have started running again after a few weeks, just to let the knee rest, but it kind of extended for quite a long time. And the results have shown. I gained back some of the weight that I lost. Running, it seems, is quite effective when it comes to my weight. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I'm not fully back to what I used to do, but I'm getting back. Slowly, as not to screw up the knee again. Now I'm done with the exercise bit of this post.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">KU plays Villanova on Friday night. Most of Lawrence, it seems, will probably be watching the game on CBS, as this is, after all, the home of KU, where basketball is kind of like a religion in some respects. Though with better and more regular attendance. Not to slight religion, but KU basketball is very important here. Heck, even the churches in Lawrence, got involved in 2003 with KU in the Final Four.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">It should be an interesting game. The last time these two teams met, Villanova gave the Jayhawks a thorough beatdown. Hopefully, this will end differently with KU beating Villanova. I'm guessing that the Hawks will counter the Nova guards (who have been shooting pretty good). Then it will be up the the KU frontcourt of Jackson, Arthur and Kaun/Aldritch to open up the inside. By Saturday morning, I'm thinking that KU makes it to the Elite Eight. Then again, this is March Madness and anything is possible.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Wearing a suit and tie sucks. I hate messing around with making a tie, though I've done it many times before. It never seems to end up straight. It's always crooked or lumpy or too short. And there's making sure your shirt is clean and not too wrinkly, which involves more work than you think necessary. All the buttons are there. The collar is sticking up. Your jacket has lint clinging to it and that has to get brushed off. Your belt is fine, but it seems a little ratty. Does this tie match this suit? Are the shoes in good condition and not scuffed? Do the suit and shoes match? Does everything look OK? And after you get everything in order, you've probably spent way too much time fussing over these things instead of more important stuff like preparing for your speech or how are you going to answer those tricky questions they're going to ask you. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And then, when it's all over, you have to take the suit off. Undoing the tie. Taking the shoes off. Cleaning the shirt (quite likely) again when you're done and making sure there isn't a ring around the collar. And if you're not lucky, you have to wear a suit the next day and the next day. The process never ends.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And that's a sampling of random stuff from my head.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-54761741241355313002008-03-23T19:44:00.000-05:002008-03-23T20:10:42.275-05:00March Madness<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site (that I know of) on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about me, my so-called life, and the random things floating in my head that I find interesting.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I haven't been posting very frequently for a while. Then again, considering the readership numbers, it doesn't seem like very many people are looking at this site. I haven't entered into some kind of boring life (at least not to me). I have some interesting things to talk about. I just can't muster the energy or at least some time to regularly post. So you get the random posts every so often and not really often. Now that's out of the way, I'm going to talk about something else that's more intersting.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">It's that time of the year again. March Madness. College hoops all day, and pretty much every day. For most people, this is not something to be totally obsessed about, but I like in Lawrence, Kansas. Home of the University of Kansas Jayhawks. For people here, college basketball is well, a part of life. And when March rolls around, basketball fans expect the Jayhawks to be playing in the NCAA Tournament and making their way to another Final Four (and possibly a National Championship).</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">This year's tournament seems to be filled with many good games and some crazy upsets. How about Davidson beating Georgetown? And Sienna and San Diego State and Villanova making it past the first round? A few games that went into overtime? The last second buzzer beaters? The really close games that should have been blowouts? Duke getting knocked out is something that brings tears of joy to my eyes.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I didn't fill out a bracket this year. Didn't feel like it. I'm just going to enjoy the games without any expectations of losing or winning a sum of money or some other prize.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Thankfully, the Jayhawks have not been part of any last second games. They've won by confortable margins. Though they exhibit, sometimes, moments of basketball idiocy like making stupid shots from long distance, poor ball handling, and other things that you don't expect from a top team. Or at least as often as it's occuring.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Like with UNLV. They had the chance to blow UNLV out of the water, but they got sloppy on defense and with the ball handling. It wasn't until the second half did the Jayhawks put the game out of reach.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Jayhawks have an excellent chance of making it to the Final Four. Now that Davidson knocked out Georgetown, and their opponent is Villanova, it should be somewhat easy cruising to winning their bracket. However, I do say this with some caution. It's March Madness and anything can happen.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Easter is an odd holiday. This is not meant to be an anti-religious statement, but some things about Easter seem strange. And I have a wandering mind. And I tend to think too much about totally random stuff.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Who came up with the idea of eating ham on Easter? Pork products aren't kosher and therefore, Jesus didn't eat ham. He never said, "Hey, pass me the honey baked ham" during the Jewish Passover. I can understand lamb, as the traditional Passover meal probably had lamb as lamb was more accessible to the Jews at the time. Though there is something unnerving about eating a leg of lamb when you'e celebrating a holiday all about the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">And the Easter Bunny. Where do the colored eggs come from? Is the Easter Bunny like the Cadbury Bunny who magically creates them out of nowhere? Or is there some other explanation?</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">And how did one get from Jesus dying for your sins and coming back to life all the way to finding colored eggs hidden by a giant Easter Bunny? I seriously doubt that Jesus told his disciples, "In the future, to celebrate my death and resurrection, I want you to have a giant Easter bunny hiding colored eggs. I also want children to find them. And it's double bonus points if you can put candy in those eggs. If you don't, I'm not coming back for a second time." Highly unlikely. Maybe that's why Jesus hasn't come back yet. He's not digging the colored eggs that much or something.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Maybe there is some religious symbolism to the bunny and the eggs. I'm pretty sure there is some kind of symbolism. But if there is, it got lost in all of the commercialization. After all, nobody respects holiday traditions more than a retail store...especially if it gets them cash.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I've now used up enough of your time. So that's all the random stuff in my head at this moment. It's now time for you to do something more interesting or important.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-48090071986182921922008-03-07T09:34:00.000-06:002008-03-07T10:26:47.985-06:00Tourism Commercials<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this blog is all about me and the random thoughts and things floating in my head that I find interesting.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">While watching television, I saw some tourism commercials. Mainly one for California and several for the state of Kansas. After seeing the California commercial, I want to go visit California. It seems like a really fun place to visit, if not live in. Sure, there's the big cities filled with pollution, the long commutes to work, and some other serious negatives, but damn, it sounds like a lot of fun.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">If you see the commercial, you'll notice that it's very clever. It takes the concept of work and what makes work terrible--overtime, long hours, working on the weekends, etc.--and cleverly twists them around. For example, nobody wants to work on the weekend, right? However, their version of "working on the weekends" involves going to an amusement park. And board meetings involve surfing and skateboarding. Long hours involve being in the outdoors with the family. And to top the deal off, the Governator appears at the end. He's wearing a suit suitable for summer, sitting at a table, eating food, drinking wine, and it's a glorious, sunny day. And the tagline at the end is great. If this sounds like a job for you, then come to California. Now that's a tourism commercial. It's funny, clever, and it shows the best of California. Who wouldn't want to go visit California?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Now compare this to the dreck that is considered a tourism commercial for the state of Kansas. All in all, Kansas isn't such a bad place to live in. It could be worse. Then again, it could be better, but you make the best of what you've got. Kansas is more of a quieter, slower place. It's a little bit country, a little bit metropolitan. Not a lot to work with, but hey, they made South Dakota and Oklahoma sound like interesting places to visit, so why not Kansas? Hell, if the city of Manhattan, Kansas can make their city sound interesting and not some place in the middle of nowhere, then surely the state of Kansas can do the same.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">What did the State of Kansas consider a good commercial? A bunch of pictures of wide open prairies, some sunflowers, some windmills, and a lot of empty skies. And a tacky, kind of lame country/folk song that would make Peter, Paul, and Mary proud. Not so great in luring in tourists from California or anywhere outside the Midwest. Then again, I doubt people from the Midwest would want to spend time in Kansas after seeing that commercial. They already have the flat spaces and empty skies that populate Kansas.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I mean, they could have done something more exciting. I don't know. Show some KU basketball. Clips of K-State or KU football (think Orange Bowl). Some exciting clips from the Kansas Speedway. Some images of the cities that portray a little cosmopolitan, a little small town(nice ones, please). I don't know, maybe people walking down the street with shopping bags. A park scene. Then add in a limited amount of the folksy images of sunflowers and prairies and nature. You don't need to pound that image of stereotypical Kansas, especially if you don't want to portray Kansas as that flat state in the middle of nowhere. And change the music to something more...well...modern. The fiddle and guitar routine is a little stale. And the vocal yelps and whoops don't help either. At least in my opinion. More importantly, change the damn slogan. "As big as you think" is corny. And it's ambiguous. It can be interpreted in a positive or negative way. If that's the best they could come up with, then that was a waste of money. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That would be a much more exciting and vastly superior commercial. It give a more balanced picture of Kansas. One that would appeal to people a bit more. If you want shopping, some city life, some small town charm, or the great outdoors, then Kansas is your place. And this idea for a commercial only took me less than a minute to think up. No need for consultants or anybody else.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And the older commercials that talk about historical figures? Stupid as well.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">As much as I find Eisenhower to be a great military leader, the commercial was dumb. Yes, you too can be a military leader who liberated Europe and became President, even if you lived in some small town nobody has ever heard of. But you have to come from Kansas to get those qualities. "Kansas, as big as you think." No, that was stupid. The concept was good, but the execution stunk. If you're talking about Eisenhower, you have to show something more than a boy in a cornfield. You need to show Eisenhower leading the troops. You need something visceral. Not some boy in a cornfield and some Eddie Albert sounding dude doing the voiceover. That's just lame. And a waste of money. I'm thinking that a lot of other states can take clamin in making Presidents. Not just Kansas.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">What would have been better? Talk about Eisenhower and how he saved Europe from the Nazis and then became President. Then say something like "He came from Kansas. See what made him a hero." Forget the "As big as you think." It just detracts from the commercial.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And the Amelia Earhart commercial? Again, good concept, bad execution. What screwed up the commercial was the question at the end. I guess it was supposed to be rhetorical and the answer was supposed to be along the lines of "Earhart was a great pilot and pioneer; Kansas builds that kind of character." When I saw the commercial, I started to laugh. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Um, didn't they read up the history books? Amelia Earhart, though a pioneer in female aviation, went missing over the Pacific Ocean. She left behind important communication and navigation instruments for some odd and amazingly idiotic reasons. If you're going to fly over a relatively empty ocean like the Pacific, you need communication and navigation instruments, so you don't get lost and crash and die. That says a lot about a person from Kansas. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">You could interpret that question and come up with a decidedly negative answer: "Yeah, Kansans are stupid idiots who leave behind important stuff to survive. Don't trust them with anything important, like your life." That's a great impression. "Kansas, as big as you think."</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I don't care if the commercials wins awards. If nobody's visiting and you're winning awards, then what's the damn use for the awards? It's the tourism revenues that really matter.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Oh well. Kansas still has a reason to keep the roads maintained every year. And it's not for the tourism that's staying in Kansas. It's so that the vacationers driving through Kansas won't have any flat tires while they go somewhere else in the United States. Like California or Florida.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-85132714693166386212008-02-24T19:23:00.000-06:002008-02-24T19:56:44.053-06:00Random Thoughts<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet that I know of devoted to all things related to Un. If you haven't gotten it by now, this site is all about me and the random thoughts and things that I find interesting. So if you don't want to find out what I find fascinating, then try another site.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">First up, I saw the KU-Oklahoma State basketball game on TV yesterday. Which makes me wonder, to use the title of a book, what's the matter with Kansas?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">For some reason, when KU is on the road, the men's basketball team just collapses. They play the crappiest basketball. They forget how to make simple layups. A ball screen turns from a simple task to something akin to figuring out the meaning of life and explaining it in 50 words or less. Dribbling without traveling or double dribbling or palming or getting it stolen becomes near impossible. Turnovers are more common than assists. It's like they can't remember who is on their team. They forget how to play basketball.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">It's painful, like watching a white guy from Johnson Country Kansas trying to bust a move on the dance floor when he's surrounded by a breakdancing crew.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I guess I'm used to seeing KU whip opponents like a dominatrix clad in leather. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">On a good day, KU basketball is a sight to see. They alley-oop. They launch from downtown and you hear the swish. They steal and pick pockets. It's poetry in motion or something similar to it. A basketball ballet.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">They're a talented team. They have great big guys like Kaun and Jackson and Arthur. They have a nice combination of guards like Rush, Robinson, and Chalmers. Toss in Collins when he is healthy and you have at least four guards. Everyone on the team can run up and down the court. They have hustle and ball handling skills. The defense is good. They're a balanced team. Most of the players have played in the NCAA tournament. They have some experience playing in important games. You would expect them to win most, if not all of their games. Well, you would expect them to play consistently. But they don't.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">For some odd reason, the team expects to win when they play badly, when they play like shit, when they play stupid. Which, oddly enough, rarely happens as they lose. KU was supposed to beat the Cowboys, though not by much, but they pulled defeat out of the supposed jaws of victory.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">A funny story.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">So I'm driving down Mass Street. This is after the ice/snow storm and the roads haven't been cleared yet. So I'm driving a little slower since I don't want to skid and end up wrapped around a phone pole or something similarly expensive and painful.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">There's this jackass behind me. He wants me to drive faster. Which is kind of crazy since the roads, as I mentioned before, are still icy. And I know that the Lawrence Police Department has several police cars monitoring the traffic. And they're kind of anal about speeders. On Mass Street, there's at least two speed traps where the police are in hiding with their radar guns. He starts flashing his headlights and honking his horn thinking I'm going to go faster.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Since I don't move any faster, he decides to gun it and change lanes. So he puts the pedal to the metal and gets the accelerator going.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Did I mention that the Lawrence Police Department sets up speed traps? And there's one just a block ahead? And he's the only guy in the right lane at that moment? And he's doing about forty or fifty?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Let's just say that Mr. Police Officer didn't have to work very hard to get a speeder. Didn't have to drive more than a hundred feet to pull Mr. Impatient over.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I had a good laugh.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That was until I saw the KU basketball game (see above).</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-84192618853088953642008-02-14T10:54:00.000-06:002008-02-14T11:14:35.217-06:00Salt or Sand<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site (that I know of) on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about the random things floating in my head that I find interesting.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">In the past several weeks, it's been freezing cold in Rock Chalk Jayhawk land. And I'm not talking about the KU men's basketball team in the second half. Hell did freeze over when K-State finally won in Manhattan. Apparently, the weather in Hell spilled over into Lawrence for some reason. All of that snow and ice and sleet is not making for a nice day.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">And I'm not a fan of driving in the winter weather. I don't like scraping ice off the windshield and sitting inside a cold car, waiting for the heater to get going. Nope, I hate driving in the winter. I don't like losing traction. I like clean roads, free of ice and snow and slush. That's just me.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Which brings me closer to the point of this post.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Lately, on the news, there have been stories about how communities are running out of salt. Especially in places where winter weather can cause havoc. Places like the Northeast, the Mountain West, the Midwest.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Which makes me wonder. How can you run out of salt?</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Of course, most communities preordered their salt and there's a shortage. But really, if you know that winter brings snow to your area, shouldn't you buy lots of salt earlier. You know, stock up on the salt. Like when it was cheaper or when the winter was warmer? Don't they plan ahead?</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Yes, salt causes problems. It eats up the concrete and asphalt faster. It causes damage to metal surfaces and makes rust a problem. It hurts when you get hit by the salt spewing out of the salt spreader and it chaps skin like nothing else. But it gets the damn ice and snow off the road.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">So use more sand...which the city of Lawrence has done with a vengeance. I've never seen so much sand spread out on the roadways of Lawrence before.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">It's everywhere. Spreading like a horrible plague. Sidewalks are turning tan and beige. Streets are gritty, covered in sand. The snow is brown. Everything is brown. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I think I've collected enough sand on the front yard to fill a sandbox. It's gotten into my shoes and socks and jeans. I have a fine layer of sand on the garage floor and quite possibly, into the carpets. I'd hate to think what all that sand would do on wood floors. Even worse, the sand makes driving worse. At least the salt "disappears" when the snow is melted. The sand, it's still there, covering everything in grit.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Is there anything good about the sand? Not really. I'm hard pressed to find something even remotely good about the sand.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Now that I've thought about it for a few minutes, I must admit that the sand does make for an excellent filler for all the potholes. Maybe the City of Lawrence can collect all the sand on the streets and dump them into the potholes. They'll be putting the sand to good use.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-81469126400960238552008-02-11T09:21:00.000-06:002008-02-11T10:36:09.484-06:00What's In My Food? The Valentine's Day Edition<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site (that I know of) on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about the things that I find interesting or floating in my head at the moment. It's all about me. If this is not your cup of tea or you came to this site because you were expecting something different, then try another site. The Internet is an amazing thing. I digress...</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Several disclaimers. I am not bashing Valentine's Day. I am not that paranoid about food, though I can get nervous about food safety. Eat, knowing that the United States has food safety laws and you can be sure what is in the box or bag is what is on the label for the most part, like 99.9999%. But then again, sometimes, things fall through the cracks.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Considering I have bought rice and discovered moths and God knows what else in the bag, it might be a good thing. It's my way of telling you about food safety and what might be inside your food. It's a good thing to know what is considered "sanitary" by the United States government. In addition, it might make you think twice about what you are eating. Especially if you diet contains a large amount of processed food. If you are weak of stomach...then this post is not for you. Same if you want to eat something later. Do not read this post with a full stomach...unless there is a convenietly placed bathroom nearby.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Your night of passion may begin with a seafood appetizer. Some raw oysters, some shrimp, some clams. As you may know, seafood is reminiscent of sexual organs. And Venus herself, according to myth, came from a scallop shell. Hence the connection. However, the raw oysters...they're not all that safe. You might get </span><a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/vvfact.html"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">ill</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> and the symptoms are not nice. And the fish might contain mercury (a real downer since mercury causes mental illness) or </span><a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~mow/chap25.html"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">worms</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> or </span><a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~mow/chap37.html"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">poisoning</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">. Tabasco sauce will not kill the bacteria. And the peppers used in the sauce could have been moldy, insect infested, or covered in rodent excreta. But not that much...only 3% insect infested. And less than a milligram of rodent excreta per pound. Let's just say that raw or undercooked seafood should be off the menu, no matter where you get it. Expensive restaurants included.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Anyways, let's get to the main course. What do you want? Fish? Probably not. How about some beef? Like the fish, it might have </span><a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/tapeworm/DS00659/DSECTION=3"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">beef tapeworms</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, which is not so great to have. Sure, you lose weight, but you die of starvation. And it is disgusting. You do have to deal with prions that can cause CJD--the human version of Mad Cow Disease. Nothing like having your brain getting destroyed cell by cell. I almost forgot E-coli, the well-known bacteria that caused death at the Jack in the Box hamburger outlets. And all because you wanted a rare steak. Pork will get you worms as well if you are not careful. Lamb, did I mention suffer from a disease similar to Mad Cow? Chicken, well, </span><a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~mow/chap1.html"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">salmonella</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> and </span><a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~mow/chap4.html"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">campylobacter</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">OK, let's assume you are a vegetarian. Well, you're no safer than the meat-eating carnivore humans. You all have the same dangers as the rest of the world. Even more so.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">E-coli will still get you. Remember the tainted spinach? One of my professors from law school told us a story about salad mixes that made my stomach turn. Apparently, one of his friends went to Mexico, to a farm (supposedly organic), to see if they were following certain sanitary measures. Let's just say that the farm wasn't. They were using the same water that the cows were bathed in to wash and water the lettuce. On top of that, a baby in a diaper full of feces and urine, was sitting on top of the supposedly "clean and organic" lettuce. To make a long story short, he swore never to eat salad again.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">And there are other nasty diseases that can strike. All due to unsanitary conditions. Hepatitis. Salmonella. Cross-contamination of bateria that generally affect meat and poultry. Poisonous mushrooms (so be wary of wild mushrooms that didn't come from the supermarket) and aflatoxins (caused by mold). And even the </span><a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~mow/chap43.html"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">red kidney bean </span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">can bring about troubles. Even the canned and frozen foods are not so...edible. Insect parts, dead maggots and larva, aphids, rotten pieces, and other unsavory delights can be found in canned and frozen fruits and vegetables. But in approved amounts.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">And I cannot leave without talking about chocolate. This also goes for most processed and prepackaged food as well. If you ever need inspiration to keep away from junk food, this might be helpful. This is from the FDA Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition manual called </span><a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/dalbook.html"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Food Defect Action Levels</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">.<br />WHEAT FLOUR cannot contain 75 or more insect fragments per 50 grams. In addition, it cannot contain an average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 50 grams.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">CHOCOLATE cannot contain an average is 60 or more insect fragments per 100 grams when 6 100-gram subsamples are examined OR Any 1 subsample contains 90 or more insect fragments. In addition, it cannot contain an average is 1 or more rodent hairs per 100 grams in 6 100-gram subsamples examined ORAny 1 subsample contains 3 or more rodent hairs. And where does this come from? Insect fragments - post harvest and/or processing insect infestation. Rodent hair - post harvest and/or processing contamination with animal hair or excreta. Yup, unsanitary harvest conditions and unsanitary processing condtions. Never mind that these products are nutritionally unsound due to the chemicals, the excess amount of fat, the salt and sugar, the lack of vitamins. But you also get rodent hair, feces, AND insect parts as well. And to think people eat this every day!</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">In closing, let me reiterate several things. I'm not against Valentine's Day. I'm not exhorting people to be paranoid about what they eat. Instead, I'm telling people to be more aware of what they eat and what might be inside that can or box. If you realize what might be in there--insect parts, larva, maggots, rodent hair and feces, etc.--you might reconsider buying that. Or you might reconsider how you prepare and clean it. Or you might reconsider where you eat. Even the best places can be unsanitary.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#ff0000;">HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-79133805605174530482008-02-04T18:37:00.000-06:002008-02-04T19:17:04.709-06:00The Super Bowl<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things realted to Un. This site is all about me and the random things that I find interesting. If you don't find this to be your cup of tea, try another site. Unless of course, it's China and you might be somewhat limited in your choices and your content. Anyways, it's time for an update to this site.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I saw the Super Bowl yesterday. The first three quarters, it was meh. No real scoring. Lots of failed opportunities. The Patriot offensive line was offensively bad, allowing Brady to get sacked more than a Sprint layoff. He ate a whole lot of turf. And they could not convert when the had the opportunity because the Giants defense was getting physical with him. Kind of like a pitbull that won't let go. Or Bill Clinton at a beauty pageant. Or a heat seeking missile locked on a target.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The Giants had more offensive rhythm, but they fell way short. The stupid penalties like the pass interference and the dumb 12 men on the field one. Kind of like a guy who's wanting to score with a supermodel, but goes limp at the last second. At least their defense played like champions.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The halftime show was OK. As much as I like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, the halftime show was lacking. Like Tom Petty actually singing. If he was singing, I must give him props for sounding like the MTV music video. If he was lip-synching, which I suspect he was doing, he did an excellent job in moving his lips to the music. The guitar playing was severely lacking. You could tell he wasn't playing at all.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The fourth quarter. That was the craziest fourth quarter ever. OK, so it wasn't the freaky offensive battle that everyone was expecting, but it was much better than the first three. It made a fine effort in redeeming the ugliness that was the first three quarters.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Eli Manning making a brilliant TD pass that almost was intercepted. Tom Brady leading the charge to the end zone with less than three minutes left. It looked like another New England victory. Then Eli Manning, the QB that everyone thought would wilt under pressure made plays. And got lucky. The long reception. The escape from a certain sack by three Patriots defensive players, the spin move, and the throw. The impossible catch made by a rookie. If you saw the game, you would know what I'm talking about. The final TD pass with less than a minute left due to blown coverage. New England had the chance to win, to seal the deal, but they just could not do it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Was it me or did the commercials this year seem mediocre overall? The game was great in the last quarter, but surely, one would think that the commercials would fare better. "I...I...I...am...the....NFL...NFL....I AM the NFL." Those commercials stink. Stop with this crap. It is beyond old. Although, it was funny to see some of the football players try to pronounce "resiliency," let alone any words that had more than two or three syllables in them. The Doritos commercial with the girl singing an awful folk song, I wanted to beat the TV. She sucked at singing. It was dreadful. Positively dreadful. Tone deaf at best, tone deaf at worst. She would have made for a great "Best of the Worst" American Idol spot. The Planters commercial with the unibrow girl...I could have done without. It's stomach churning to see a food product rubbed against a thoroughly repulsive looking person's body. Thank God the woman wasn't any more hideous looking than she already was. I was freaked out by the Amp drink ad. I don't want to see a fat guy with alligator clips on his nipples. That does not make me think, "I'm thirsty. Let's get an Amp drink for energy." The SalesGenie commercials...man...those hit a new low for cheap racial stereotypes. Career Builder sucked. I don't want to see a woman's heart pop out their chest or anything similar to that. </span><span style="font-family:times new roman;">After these commercials, one must wonder if anyone can make mental bleach to remove the repulsiveness from one's eyes.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The good commercials were OK at best. Fed Ex had the giant pigeon ad which was funny. Bud Light does some good commercials, though they were kind of lacking this year. I liked the caveman one, but only barely. The fire breathing and flying commercials, not so much. And the "Rocky" horse one, they're done so many times before, it's kind of cliche. I've always watned to see Justin Timberlake take a few shots to the groin, but that got tiring and confusing after a while. Pepsi needs to get better advertising people. Their commercials made little sense until the end. Coke was much better. Bridgestone tires allowed a driver to avoid a screaming, panic-stricken squirrel--and later a screaming, panic-stricken Richard Simmons That was funny. Though I kind of wish Richard Simmons got hit. If JT can take it to the nads, RS can get hit by a car.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-24381602608811291062008-01-04T11:55:00.000-06:002008-01-04T12:14:39.742-06:00College FootballGreetings and welcome back to <a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/">The Un-Zone</a>, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Which basically means this blog is all about the things that I find interesting. If you don't find this to be your cup of tea, then find another site. I hear that there are millions of other blogs and websites out there.<br /><br />I like college football. I think I've spent too much time watching football games on Saturdays from the month of September to January. This year, for some reason, has proven to be one of the most wacky and watchable seasons ever. More interesting than pro football.<br />Consider the number of upsets when it came to top 5 teams. Who would have thought Michigan, one of the most storied teams in football, would lose to some Appalachian State? Who would have thought there would be constant shifting of the #1 and #2 teams? Who would have predicted the wackiness that was the BCS?<br />Then again, who would have predicted this? Kansas winning the Orange Bowl. Beating Virginia Tech. With their defense and special teams? Going 12-1?<br />Absolutely nobody. Well, nearly nobody. I was one of the many doubters, considering the years of lackluster performance and the mediocrity that was Kansas Football. Sure, there were good years, but there were many lean ones where a .500 season would be considered a good year and a bowl game was extraordinary.<br />Now things will have to change. A good year will be much different. The bar has been raised to a new height.<br />Say what you will about KU's season. How they didn't play against good teams and settled for weak opponents. Say what you will about Coach Mangino. Say what you will about KU and how they don't have a good team. Say what you will about how Mizzou deserved the BCS bid. Say anything at all. But no matter what, the team that nobody expected to do well just won the Orange Bowl. They beat Virginia Tech.<br />They outdid Virginia Tech in their own game. KU sacked them 5 times (4 in the first quarter). KU had three interceptions, one returned for a TD. A blocked field goal. A missed field goal returned back for excellent field position. A trick punt. Everything that "Beamerball" is all about. But done by KU. The look on Coach Beamer's face showed how shocked and dismayed he was. Let's just say that Beamer's team got reamed.<br />Let's just face it. Virginia Tech made a bunch of mistakes and KU capitalized on them. All the naysayers are coming up with excuses. Well VT should have won. They could have won. They went through a tough time with the school shooting which happened in April 2007. Their best running back was suspended for a quarter. Fine. That's too bad.<br />But consider how they had momentum. They were on a winning streak. They won the ACC and came back from a 10 point deficit and won. They had a chance to tie, even win during the game. Many times in fact. But they didn't. Because they made mistakes. The sacks. The INTs. The bad coverage. They didn't bring their A game. They lost. Plain and simple.<br />Rock Chalk Jayhawk.<br /><br /><br />That's all for now.J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-39126169519579894432007-11-11T19:36:00.000-06:002007-11-11T20:05:02.650-06:00Football<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for another semi-regular update to this site. Something I haven't done in a while.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Let me begin with the following: KU football is 10-0 this season. Yes, I said KU football. Normally, the only team at KU that is 10-0 at any given time of the year is the men's basketball team. And they look like the men's basketball team may not get to be 10-0 this year, considering that Brandon Rush is out with an ACL injury until late November, early December and the team's defense is kind of lacking at this moment. The defense is good, but not at the level that it has been in years past. The scoring, however, is still there. I might be considered a pessimist, but that's how I see it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Who would have thought this would have happened? Not too many people. Hell, nobody, I think thought this unlikely occurence would have happened. I for one, a person who watches college football when its on, did not think so. I was wrong. Like nearly everyone in the United States, including the sports pundits.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">And yet, they are 10-0. The KU Jayhawks (AKA "The Fighting Manginos" according to ESPN) are 10-0 this year, with the possibility of going 11-0 and possibly 12-0. A perfect regular season. With the Big XII Title game and a definite bowl game in the works. It's the most absurd sounding thing ever. And for the following reasons.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Coach didn't look much like a coach. The quarterback (Reesing) looks more suited wearing a suit and tie instead of a football jersey and he's also too short and skinny for a QB (but Flutie was short and he's a legend). Their top WR was also considered short and undersized. So were a lot of their defense, maligned by other schools for being short, undersized, not the right stuff for college football. And yet, despite being a ragtag group of misfits that was mediocre at best (.500 football), they somehow managed to gel together into a surprisingly good football team. One that might, if things go their way by going undefeated and the chips fall their way, a national title contender. One that, until now, wasn't given much respect or much notice.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Whatever Mangino did during the off-season, whatever the team did this year, whatever happened on and off the field, somebody should bottle it. Somebody should write it down. Whatever the hell happened, it's working. The football team is beating teams, marching down the field and scoring, and staying calm under pressure. They're a machine. They're sawing the wood and winning. The KU Jayhawks are quite possibly, the real thing.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Mark Mangino is National Coach of the Year material. He's like Bill Snyder, the guy who turned K-State from the Mildcats to the Wildcats. How else do you explain the turnaround? How else do you explain this season?</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Then again, considering college football this year, anything is possible. The #2 team was rotated in a weekly basis. Southern Florida was in the Top 10. A Division IAA team beat Michigan at Michigan. USC lost. So did Ohio State at home last week. Boston College was near the top for a while. This season has proven to be freaky, even for college football. Maybe the Jayhawk's success this year is part of this.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">At least I was right about the Chiefs. They're becoming like the KC Royals of Pro Football. They're a joke of a team in the joke of a division called the AFC West. They're worse than mediocre.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">They have no offense at all. They have a better defense, but it can't win the games for them every time.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">No run attack now that Larry Johnson is out and Priest Holmes is back from a two year hiatus. The passing is awful, even with Huard (an old-timer QB with experience) at the helm. Long gone are the days of Shields and Roalfe at the offensive line. KC now has an offensively bad offensive line. A QB that lives up to the name: you want a refund from him for the lousy throwing and scrambling skills. A running back corp that runs backward and not forward. And don't get me started on the field goal kicker problems that plague the Chiefs. At least the punter can get the ball down the field, which is the problem. It means the offense just went three and out...again. Or it stalled...again. And yet, they're still near the top in the AFC West. Which should be called the AFC Worst as it's pitifully bad.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Rename Arrowhead to something else. Something that fits the quality of play of the Chiefs. Toilet Bowl. Yes, it's a worn cliche, but it fits.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-81718438313109544022007-11-01T09:54:00.000-05:002007-11-01T10:44:41.013-05:00No, No, No, It's Not ChristmasGreetings and welcome back to <a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/">The Un-Zone</a>, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update to this site, something I haven't done in a long time. OK, nearly a month.<br /><br />Yesterday was Halloween. There's nothing like a holiday that was based off of pagan festivals yet neatly used by the early Christian Church to get the pagans to convert. You see, by making November 1 and November 2 All Souls Day and All Saints Day (maybe not in that order but the names are correct), the Church neatly solved two problems. One, to get the pagans to convert and stay relatively good Christians. Two, solve the pesky Halloween problem. It's all good to do your quasi-pagan stuff on October 31, as long as you go to church the next two days. Nice and simple. Pretty clean.<br />Then again, the early church did not expect what is now becoming a politically corrrect nanny state. The "Halloween is Evil, You're Burning in Hell" rhetoric of the ultra-conservative religous folks. The "It's not Halloween, but Fall Festival" (I thought that was Thanksgiving, but astronomically, that's generally celebrated at the Havest Moon) and "You can't wear costumes that may be offensive to anyone" or any related crap. They're children. Let them have some candy. Let them wear costumes as long as they're not something like "suicide bomber" or "Slutty <fill>" or something truly tasteless. But I digress with this.<br /><br />When you think of Halloween, you think of Jack-O-Lanterns, spooky stuff like ghosts and goblins, witches, costumes, haunted houses, etc. Scary stuff that makes you shiver. You don't expect Christmas music.<br />Apparently, <a href="http://radiotime.com/station/s_35468/STAR_102_1021.aspx">Star 102</a> <em>thinks</em> you want it. After all, according to the "<a href="http://www.kansascity.com/entertainment/columnists/hearne_christopher_jr/story/339113.html">wizards of marketing</a>," you have to be quick when it comes to piping out Christmas music before it's really Christmas. In all honesty, anyone who wants to listen to Christmas music non-stop in October is a sick person with a serious mental disorder. Anyone who thinks that people want to willingly listen to Christmas music all the time from October to God knows when, is a seriously sick person. Or they are the biggest idiot in the Universe. Or they have no grip on reality. Or they deserve to be impaled on a giant candy cane while people hit them with reindeer droppings. Or all of the above. To quote from the article:<br /><blockquote>“It’s pretty simple. In a market where there are two radio stations doing Christmas music, the one who goes first is usually the winner. That’s been proven all over the country,” says former Entercom and CBS honcho Bob Zuroweste, a veteran Christmas music warrior. “I’m talking about weeks ahead, not moments, hours or days ahead. If somebody decides to sit back and wait a few weeks, they’re going to lose.”<br />Ditto, says former Star 102 point man Jon Zellner, now with XM radio in Washington.<br />“I’ve always maintained the first one in wins,” Zellner says. “Obviously marketing helps, but what usually happens is these are marketed by word of mouth.”<br />“In reality the Christmas music doesn’t take hold with listeners until the week before or week of Thanksgiving,” Zuroweste adds. “But what happens is by going first you just have a greater connection in the minds of consumers that you are the Christmas station. And when retailers turn their dial to a Christmas music station, they tend just to<br />leave it there, so you want to get those dials set early. It really is a<br />marketing game. It’s like you want to own the perception that you are the Christmas music station.”<br /></blockquote>Which is why people in Kansas City and the surrounding area are getting "Jingle Bells" piped through the radio on Halloween of all days. Which is pretty fucking ridiculous in my opinion and according to an unscientific online poll done by the KC Star, at last count, over 80% of the people think it's way too early to pipe out the holiday music. Apparently, the marketing people at Star 102 and their rival don't get this fact. People don't want to hear Chirstmas music this fucking early. This might explain why few people listen to Star 102 and their rival anymore. They're the annoying "Christmas Music" stations that don't have a fucking clue about when to play Christmas music. All because they want an extra dollar when it comes to ratings and other materialistic stuff.<br /><br />And some other stuff. I'm sick and tired of the retailers putting out the fucking Christmas stuff in October when it's closer to Halloween than it is to Christmas or Thanksgiving.<br />Of course, Christmas didn't exist until the 4th Century AD. There were winter festivals occuring in pagan times, celebrating the end of the year and how the sun was going to come back again and shine on them. Saturnalia, festivals to Odin, etc.early Europeans celebrated light and birth in the darkest days of winter. Many peoples rejoiced during the winter solstice, when the worst of the winter was behind them and they could look forward to longer days and extended hours of sunlight. It was the perfect time to celebrate indoors since it was cold outside and who knew, maybe the Gods were watching. This later expanded when the Christian Church came around.<br />They already had Easter, so why not a holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ? They chose December 25, despite some obvious logical problems. Like nobody knew when he was really born. Or in the winter, the Holy Land is suffering from the wet season and it would have been hard to have a clear night with stars shining brightly. And of course, during the winter, why would the shepherds be out in the cold? This didn't stop them. And so came Christmas, incorporating a new religion with older pagan customs.<br />The last time I checked, Chirstmas is a religous holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. It should be a time where we give thanks for the life that we are given. It is a time to be thankful, not only for the birth of Chirst, but for other things like friends and family, for good times, for health and happiness.<br />Christmas, however, not an orgy of gift-giving. It is not a time to see how much we can spend. It is not a time to bust the credit card spending limit. It is not any of the commercialistic crap society has dumped on it. Christmas, it seems, has changed. At least one this has not changed. We're celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, The Almighty Dollar.<br />Green is for the almighty himself, and red for the blood we will spill to acquire him!<br />We should stop calling it Christmas Season and change it to Consumer Season...that's really what it's about anymore. It wasn't that long ago that the first 4 weeks of December was considered Advent and Christmas didn't start until the 24th.<br />I like Christmas, not for what it is now, but for what it was. Sometimes, I think that we'd be a better society if we just got rid of the stupid holiday once and for all. Every bit of meaning anyone ever got out of it has been sucked out by commercial interests and plain stupidity and is lost forever.<br /><br />And here's a Chirstmas song to you, Star 102. I hope you like it:<br />It’s not December<br />It’s barely even November<br />Outside it’s still too warm for snow to fall<br />Halloween was yesterday<br />And winter’s still a ways away<br />But try to tell that to the folks down at the mall<br />Inside’s a winter wonderland<br />I’m sorry, I don’t understand<br />‘cause mistletoe on Veteran’s Day seems wrong<br />But the shops are filled with Christmas cheer<br />And on the speakers, all you hear<br />Is the way-too-early Christmas song<br />Leaves just started changing<br />But the stores are rearranging<br />Their décor to wintry Christmas themes<br />See the red and green displays:<br />“Just 58 more shopping days”<br />And cardboard elves are planting plastic trees<br />Jesus in his manger cradle<br />Plus a little token dreidel<br />In a big display next to the Cinnabon<br />With three wise men and gifts they bring<br />Just plug them in, and they all sing<br />The way-too-early Christmas song<br />I know you need to satisfy your investors<br />But couldn’t you wait at least until the Savior’s third trimester?<br />Finally, just outside the Master-Cuts<br />Was Santa, and that fat bastard’s<br />“Ho ho ho”-ing drove me up the wall<br />Something snapped, I lost control<br />And kicked him square in his North Pole<br />And as he dropped, I decked him in his halls<br />So, my friends, I wish you well<br />From the mall security holding cell<br />I hope that they don’t keep me here too long<br />May you and yours find peace and love<br />Unless you are the writer of<br />The way-too-early Christmas song<br /><br /><br />Merry Christmas. That's all for now.J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-39241494235615658142007-10-05T08:51:00.000-05:002007-10-05T09:30:12.318-05:00Commercial Break<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Kind of amusing readers and taking up space on the Information Highway since 2005. This site is all about me and the random things that I find interesting.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Television ads. Some of them are amusing and clever like certain Super Bowl ads. A lot of them are pretty annoying and stupid. So dumb, you have to wonder how any thinking person could come up with that ad and what idiot paid money. Then you realize that it was made by a highly successful business and everything becomes much clearer.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I watch too much television. And I need to stop being a nitpick at the immense failure of other people.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Then agian, if I don't notice these seemingly inconsequential things, then I wouldn't have as much fun in life. And I wouldn't have something to post about on this blog. So I guess that it's a good thing in a way. But I still have very little of a social life to talk about so it's just another friendly reminder of this pitiful fact. I fail as well.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">All kidding aside, a lot of stupid ads populate television. Or a whole lot of people lack a certain amount of common sense and need special guidance. Either case does not speak highly of the intelligence of humanity. And yet, there's a part of me that says that humanity has become too clever for its own good. That possibility is even more disturbing as it shows how gullible and materialistic we've become.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Take for instance the Serta Vera Wang mattress collection. Supposedly, a Vera Wang designed mattress is luxurious, romantic, and comfortable. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I can understand "comfortable" and I can define it in some way. It feels good and you sleep well when you are on it. What certain physical aspects of the mattress that entails "comfortable" depends on the user. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">"Luxurious" is another vague term, but I suspect that it either means "we stuck a famous name on our regular product so paying money out of your ass because you're gullible" or "over the top in a subjective manner so you're paying money out of your ass." </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">But what the hell is a "romantic" mattress? I've seen the mattress and I can't tell what's so fucking romantic about it. There's no Barry White music coming from it. No dishes are being cleaned. No candlelight. I mean, seriously, it's like every other Serta mattress. It just has "Vera Wang Collection" stickers and labels on it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">This is either a stupid commercial or a clever commercial. Stupid since they are mangling the English language and showing their ignorance of English. Clever since they are manipulating the English language to sucker people in buying their mattress.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And drug commercials are stupid and annoying.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Viagra is pawning "Viva Las Vegas" to sell the little blue pill. That's not stupid, it is blasphemy. Enzyte commercials are annoying as well. I hate the whistling as it is annoying. The damn shit-eating, dopey-ass grin on Bob's face makes me want to punch him repeatedly. And you are not going to have that much success if your penis gets erect when you want it to be erect or bigger for that matter. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Who needs to be told that it's unsafe to operate machinery if the drug can cause you to fall asleep at inopportune times, especially when it is a sleeping medication? Duh...sleeping pills are supposed to put you to sleep, not keep you awake.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Fast food commercials annoy me as well. The Wendy's comemrcials suck. I liked Dave Thomas commercials where he would talk about Wendy's and the food there. None of the dumb commercials with creepy people wearing the CGI generated red wigs or driving chickens or God knows what else they've put on TV.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">But Sonic takes the cake for inane drivel. The Sonic Guys commercials are stupid. The two guys who sit at the Sonic Drive-In and have the dumbest conversations about "seizing the burrito" or "weak tater tot action" or any other stupid phrase.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I've now ranted enough on commercials I hate.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-91815685066862783712007-10-03T10:33:00.000-05:002007-10-03T11:28:22.218-05:00I'm Getting an Edumacation...<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, for those who don't get it, this stuff is all about me and the things that I find interesting. If this is not your cup of tea, try </span><a href="http://www.google.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Google</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> and find another site.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I've been through many years of school. At last count, I've spent twenty years in school. Elementary school, middle school, and high school. Four years of college. Three years in law school. That's close to 80% of my life spent in school of some sort.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Thankfully, I've managed to learn something. English grammar, fine literature, more math than I can handle (calculus, linear algebra, number theory), science of all sorts, and many other subjects. And yes, despite all of these years of filling my head with facts that may or may not be useful later in life, I've had education in other more useful subjects. Things like washing clothes, cooking food without burning it, and balancing a checkbook. Without such skills, I would be starving and broke. Possibly homeless due to an unfortunate cooking accident.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I still have many years of life ahead of me. I hope so, or this is going to be quite disappointing. Life is the best teacher there is, though life can be very tough. Life demands you pay a heavy price. Everyone ends up dead.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I find it sad that despite being one of the most "well-educated" countries in the world, the educational system is sorely lacking. To paraphrase what President G.W. Bush said about the educational system, our childrens is not learning. And yes, he was using faulty grammar. And yes, "our childrens is not learning" is meant to be a joke.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Consider the following. WWII was a bloody and costly war, both in money as in the number of lives lost. And yet, when <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/10/02/BA61S87F0.DTL">juniors at a San Francisco area high school </a>were asked questions about the war, most were clueless. Absolutely clueless. Mussolini was the leader of the USSR (Dictator of Italy by the way). The war ended with the bombing of Iwo Jima and Hitler's suicide (wrong again). They did, however, identify Hitler as the leader of Germany and a really bad dude.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Or this...Stanford University is one of the premier universities in the United States. It's recognized as a great school around the world. Secretary of State Rice attended there. Many other rich and famous people graduated from the institution. And students can learn all about <a href="http://www.facebook.com/">Facebook</a> by taking a class. It's about "gaining insight into the realm of online interaction" and other practical areas. Whatever the hell that really means.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">For all I know, it could be about goofing off online, which Facebook does very well.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Finally, for all of those Star Wars fanatics out there. There's a <a href="http://media.www.cw.ua.edu/media/storage/paper959/news/2007/10/02/TheScene/Class.Uses.The.Force-3004758.shtml">class </a>being taught at the University of Alabama about Star Wars and its links to religion, philosophy, and other areas of knowledge:</span><br /><blockquote>Finding the essence of religion, sociology, history and mass communication through the Force may seem a bit odd, but a particular Blount Undergraduate Initiative thematic seminar attempts to prove that the concept works.Taught by David DeWitt, a four-time graduate of the University, BUI 301: The Gospel of<br />Star Wars: Mass Entertainment as Postmodern Religion pulls many courses of study together to present a new wide-ranged look at mass media, religion and society.<br /></blockquote><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family:Georgia;">There is some academic stuff involved. Like reading essays, writing papers, and watching film. Who knows, you might write a paper about Han Solo and the implications of him shooting first in the Cantina scene? That sounds a bit too geeky to me.</span></span><br /><br />That's all for now.<br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><br /><br /></span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-41671028138875859142007-09-23T20:34:00.000-05:002007-09-23T20:59:59.220-05:00A Day at the Ren Fest...<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un.. Basically, this blog is all about me and the things that I find interesting. If you haven't gotten this by now, well, you might want to get off the Internet and find something else to do.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">You've probably noticed that I haven't been updating the other "blog" that I maintain. I haven't permanently neglected that site or the story. It's just taking a lot more time to write a chapter these days. I'm doing my best to finish the story. Hopefully, I'll get it done before NaNoWriMo 2007 begins. So that's the situation for that. Now on to the purpose of this post. A Day at Ye Olde Ren Fest.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I'm sure that many of you have been to a Renaissance Festival of some sort. Or you have visited a place that has a "medieval" theme to it. Of course, most Renaissance Festivals and Fairs are not the most historically accurate events. Then again, if everything was historically accurate, one would not be having much fun. There would not be any oversized turkey legs to eat, shows to watch, or not much at all. Everyone would be toiling in the fields for a feudal lord or at church. Not that fun at all. Nor is it very entertaining to anyone. Unless of course, you like that kind of stuff.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I visited the KC Ren Fest, located by the Verizon Amphitheater on Saturday. The parking lot is crap. If they spent a little more money on paving the damn parking lot, more people would come to the concerts. I've never seen such big freaking ruts and holes in a parking lot before. Except in pictures of war zones. Maybe some of the worse parts of inner cities. Anyways...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">It was pleasant and not too hot, unlike the last time I went there. Lots of shade.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The prices were still the same...which means it's generally overpriced. $2.50 for a 20oz bottle of soda is steep. Then again, it's the Ren Fest. For any special event, it's gonig to cost you money and lots of it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I spent a lot of time walking around, absorbing the pseudo-Middle Ages athmosphere. I might have gotten a bit too much of it. The smoke that is.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I kind of wonder how anyone can wear those period costumes (very loose usage of the term "period") and not get uncomfortable. Of course, they probably are feeling uncomfortable. The men liked the costumes the women were wearing for obvious reasons that need not be explained if you've seen them.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I had lots of fun insulting street performers. Any time you can use "They'd need a lot more beer to find you attractive" is always fun.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And I also saw men in kilts do traditional Highland Games activities. Things like carrying a 140 pound rock for two minutes. Or toss a damn caber. This makes me wonder who the hell would be crazy enough to do stuff like that and call it fun. That must have made for an interesting conversation.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><em><blockquote><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><em>"MacDonald, what do you say we toss a caber?"</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><em>"Brilliant! And we throw it so it looks pretty and elegant MacDuff?"</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><em>"Brilliant! What about carrying a stone and seeing how far you can carry it?"<br />"Brilliant! And what about tossing a weight?"</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><em>"Brilliant! Let's get all the clans together in the Highlands and call it the Highland Games?"</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><em>"Brilliant! Where's the whiskey?"</em></span><br /></blockquote></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Of course, these activities served a purpose. Strength, endurance, stamina, martial skills like spear throwing and so forth. But you'd have to be crazy in a way. Or drunk. Or a little bit of both. I'm not sure. I left with the idea that you'd have to be a Scottish person to come up with that.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">So that's what I did at the KC Ren Fest on Saturday. It wasn't so bad.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Leaving the parking lot, however, was not good. Especially when a Missouri driver decides to make up imaginary exits and nearly hits your car. Or when they find the idea of using the turn signal to be a step forward in evolution. Or when they actually go when the light is green and stop when it's red.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-56933034165548113412007-09-10T08:42:00.000-05:002007-09-10T09:13:55.463-05:00A Football Post<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Yes, this site is all about me, my quasi-life, and the random thoughts floating in my head that I find interesting. It's time for a post. A post all about football.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">For all of those optimistic Kansas City Chiefs fans...you're delusional. The preseason in which the Chiefs failed to make TDs, field goals, and points-after was a harbringer of what was going to come. Absolute failure. Last season was a massive fluke. The Chiefs were lucky to make it to the post-season with that lousy of a record. They didn't have what it took to earn a spot in the playoffs. That's reality.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The experts are right. The Chiefs will have a sub-par year. They will continue their record of missing the playoffs. It's because the coaches and the owner are idiots. Let me count the ways...</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">1. Medlock. Your field goal kicker should be able to make field goals. If they are 30 yards and in, they should be automatic. Easy stuff. Granted, sometimes the conditions are lousy like a torrential rainstorm or snow or ice. I will give in a little and give the kicker the benefit of the doubt.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">He couldn't make a field goal during the preseason. If this is the best they could find, then the team is screwed. Maybe it was rookie jitters. OK, we'll see how he does in the regular season. Shanks it. Misses it from what, 30 yards out. Not good.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">By the way, Lawrence Tyne is making them. The irony.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">2. Special teams. Sepcial teams can win games. Dante Hall was the X-Factor. A kickoff return or a punt return for a touchdown or good field position can be the deciding factor. It's not good if the return guy who is supposed to replace Dante Hall muffs the punt and the other team returns it for a touchdown. I don't care if you think the ref made an error, you are supposed to hold on to the ball with two hands and protect it. Hold it tight. Don't let it leave your hands for a second. Once it's loose, anyone can grab it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">If you are the cover team, you should tackle. You should be able to run and tackle. You do not blow coverage. The Chiefs for some reason, can't do this well. Maybe they should get better players...wait, the Chiefs GM and coaching staff said they did.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">3. Offense. Was plain offensive. No running game. The passing game was good, but Huard threw two INTs. Not good.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">4. Defense. Not there. Fourth quarter meltdown. Blown coverage. The same ol' situation. The same ol' ball and chain. I thought the Chiefs got good players...</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">5. Coaching. What the hell? Why do you insist on running when you're down by ten points? The running route--pound the ball--only works if the running game is good AND you're scoring points. It's even better when you are ahead and the defense is rolling along. The Chiefs had none. The Chiefs were down, the running game was lousy, and the defense couldn't do jack. Why run the ball in a conservative manner? It's not like the QB could do any worse than he already was doing! It's not like the Offense was doing anything while on the field except stall, fumble, get intercepted. They ain't scoring anything.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">In sum, the Chiefs will have a lousy season. Rebuilding will be tough. Get ready for a whole lot of ugly.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">This is a note for the Jayhawk football fans. Get ready for another mediocre season. Despite the recent results of the past two games (2 WINS, outscoring 114-7), this will be another ho-hum season. I don't care if the defense is fast. I don't care if the offense looks good. I don't care for those things. The Jayhawks were playing against Division 1AA teams I've never heard of before. I couldn't tell you where they were located. The Jayhawks were supposed to beat them by a large margin. Yes, there was the Michigan upset by Appalachain State, but the Wolverines are overrated. They actually suck. Hyped up to the extreme. Preseason polls mean shit.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Look, they can come out of the non-conference with a 4-0 record. That's nice. Once the regular conference comes, it will be a different story. Expect them to lose in the ways that are unexpected. Stuff like they pulled last year. Pulling defeat from the jaws of victory.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Look at their schedule. They are playing 4 not-so-great schools in the beginning. Their Big XII schedule doesn't include Texas or Oklahoma. They're rigging their schedule to make it a good-looking year, which would be something like .500, maybe 7 wins. Mangino has a nice pedigree, but he ain't doing a Bill Snyder (his former boss at K-State) or a Bill Stoops (former boss at Oklahoma). </span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-5295040592458275552007-09-05T18:58:00.000-05:002007-09-05T19:15:36.679-05:00It's An Update...All Legal Stuff<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update to this site, something that has not been done in quite a long time. And now, back to the regularly scheduled program...</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Today's post is all about the legal system. Well, stories that involve criminals and the lawyers who have to defend them. These stories should teach you important lessons if you are a lawyer, wanting to be a lawyer, or if you happen to be on the wrong side of the law in the future. Not that you are criminals or anything... I hope my blog readers are not criminally inclined.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">If you are a criminal and you've just been sentenced, there are certain things you should not do. You should not scream obscenities at the judge or the jury. You should not make threats at anyone, especially the judge. You also should not hit your lawyer like </span><a href="http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=48778"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">this man</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">. As tempting as this may sound, it is not a good thing to do. Never do this.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">In addition, if you have done the deed, do not blab that you did it to anyone. The person might be an informant. They might be a cop. They might tell the police on you. It is a good way of getting your butt hauled into jail. Not a good thing if you want your criminal tendencies to stay anonymous.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Do not do what </span><a href="http://www.abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=3560167"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">this person </span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">did. He wrote a book and told how he did it. He got convicted of murder.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">If you're accused of copyright infringement, do not </span><a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSPEK15436320070905?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&sp=true&rpc=92"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">plagiarize your appology speech </span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">from the Internet, just like this government official.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">If you burglarize and vandalize a campsite, do not </span><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=480092&in_page_id=1770"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">leave your name </span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">at the crime scene. The police, oddly enough, will track you down.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">If you are angry at your wife's attorney, there are good ways of venting your anger. </span><a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,295656,00.html"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Committing arson </span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">is not an acceptable option.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">So, do not do what these people have done. Your life will be much better.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-70397203100927406162007-08-06T20:21:00.000-05:002007-08-06T20:43:03.975-05:00The Cartoon History of the UniverseGreetings and welcome back to <a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/">The Un-Zone</a>, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for a semi-regular update to this site. I know that my life is so amazingly exciting that you all want to know what's going on.<br /><br />I found this great book while downtown a few days ago. It's called <em>The Cartoon History of the Universe (</em>Henceforth known as<em> Cartoon History)</em>. Despite it's seemingly lowbrow name, it's actually an informative and well-researched book. Well, I think the proper name for it is "graphic novel" as comic book suggests something a kid would read.<br />I really like this book. Being a former English and history major, if I find a book that is supposedly historical or based upon history or expounding on a particular period of time, I like it to be accurate. If there is something that I find to be inaccurate, I go bonkers and will rant and rave about it. I'm that kind of person. I'm a stickler for accuracy as well as a Grammar Nazi. OK, I'm not that anal about such things, but I do make an effort to use proper English.<br />In addition to being a stickler for accuracy, I also like to be entertained in some way. If the material is boring, I will not enjoy it. Even if it is a topic that I usually find interesting.<br />I also have a...well...one might say an "interesting" sense of humor. I like quirky, odd, and unusual humor. Sarcasm is a good thing. Satire is a good thing. If you can find humor in the most morbid of situations, that's even better. Irony is good also.<br /><br />What makes <em>Cartoon History</em> so great is the author/illustrator's sense of humor, the interesting manner the material is presented, and its historical accuracy. One can learn many facts about history while being thoroughly entertained. It's surprisingly scholarly, sophisticated, and well-researched in nature while keeping the reader interested. There's no jargon and academic blather. If there are intelligent and credible theories, Gonick presents them in a friendly and accessible manner. He's skeptical about the familiar but questionable stories, in command of history, and he's pretty damn funny to boot. In sum, he's combined the best of traditional and unorthodox.<br /><br />Quite possibly the best section in this volume was the part about Sparta. He covers all the bases from life in Sparta to the famous incident at Thermopylae. There are many clever illustrations, acerbic and witty dialogues, and historical facts to boot.<br />The best lines:<br /><blockquote>Narrator: Now the Persians knew what they were up against!<br />Xerxes: Suicidal hairdressers...<br /></blockquote><br />Brilliant. They never had that in the history books.<br /><br />There are four other volumes in his history books. They seem to be as funny as this one. I hope to get them all.<br />So if you're looking for a more unusual look at history, this is the book for you.<br /><br />That's all for now.J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-82488993304327158692007-08-02T12:15:00.000-05:002007-08-02T12:46:32.140-05:00Television News<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to <a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/">The Un-Zone</a>, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this piece of real estate on the Information Superhighway is all about me. I've been wasting bandwidth since 2005. If this is not your cup of tea, then please go to another site.</span><br /><br />I've never been a fan of the news, especially the local news. I've written about this topic before, so this should not come as a major surprise. I have more things to complain and rant about now.<br />For some reason, TV journalists say some, well, in my honest opinion, really stupid things. For instance, if there is an accident or some natural disaster or some incident where people die, the news anchorperson will say something like this:<br /><blockquote>"There was a <insert> today at <insert>. The number of people dead is <insert> and it is expected to rise."</blockquote><br />Um...and the number of dead people is supposed to do what...fall? Last time I checked, the death toll rarely decreases. And people don't come back to life when they are declared dead. Unless Jesus Christ just happens to be around and brings them back from the other side. Or you're a dead guy in a television show. Never in real life.<br /><br />A bridge collapsed in Minneapolis yesterday. For some odd reason, KCTV5 is giving tips on how to survive a bridge collapse: "If you happen to be on a bridge when it is collapsing, here are some tips that might help you survive."<br />Yeah...I'm sure that will be really handy sooner or later. More like never as the odds of a person being on a collapsing bridge are astronomically low, even in a place that has a reputation for unsafe roads. I can think of a few tips that might help. Things like praying to God or a higher being that you don't die. Or gaining the ability to float. Or not being on the bridge in the first place. Why don't they do a special section on surviving a nuclear war or a massive asteroid strike or the end of the world?<br /><br />And another thing...why do they milk every single emotional, tear-jerking moment from an incident? For weeks on end. I mean, what else is there to cover? Yes, it's a sad occasion when there's a natural disaster or a horrible accident. But nothing is going to change much. The dead will still be dead. They'll get buried. The living will mourn and try to survive. Things will get rebuilt. But not in a day or a week or a month. Come back later when things really change. Go on to something else. They news stations look like vultures picking over a carcass when they do live coverage from a tragedy.<br />There's a school shooting. Let's interview every single person on campus. Let's swarm on the campus and point cameras in all directions. Get a close-up shot of a person crying. Ask the same people the same questions over and over again. Look concerned and saddened when you hear the answers. Rinse and repeat. Keep on covering the story for weeks on end and ignore everything else.<br />There's a natural disaster. Zoom in on the dead bodies. Take pictures of the wreckage. Ask the survivors how it felt to be stuck in the middle of the disaster. More live coverage. Attend the funerals. More pictures. More questions. Rinse and repeat. Keep on covering the story for weeks on end and ignore everything else.<br /><br />TV news? What a joke. That's all for now.J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-36974625795039893912007-07-19T21:53:00.000-05:002007-07-19T22:17:31.658-05:00Random Stuff<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Un</span>-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Un</span>. Basically, this blog is all about me and the events that happen in my so-called life. Plus the random thoughts that float around in my head that need a home.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">There was a sidewalk sale today in Lawrence. All the stores--well, most of them--were selling stuff on the sidewalks. Downtown Lawrence has an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">eclectic</span> selection of stores covering the gamut of items to buy. You've got bookstores, places to eat, clothing, clubs, jewelry, and one store that will sell you everything but ice. Incidentally enough, the store that sells you everything but ice is called "Everything But Ice." I'm partial to the bookstores as I like reading. That and some of the restaurants like Zen Zero. For some reason, I can't seem to find a restaurant that serves really spicy food. The last time I went to Zen Zero, I asked for the food to be as spicy as they could make it. I still needed to add in like four teaspoons of sambal to get it decent. Anyways...</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">It was pleasant to spend some time browsing the stores and the various wares being offered. That and the people watching. I like watching people more than I like shopping. The experience would have been more pleasant if the weather had cooperated. It was well over 90 degrees and the humidity wasn't helping much. That and the prices were a little out of my price range. And I wasn't in the shopping mood as there was nothing that I wanted or needed to buy.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Speaking of money, the KU Alumni Association keeps excellent track of the alumni. I think I've received at least one piece of mail from them every day. All of these offers. The official KU Alumni Association VISA card. Plus the Mastercard version. The official KU Alumni temporary health care plan. The official KU Alumni insurance policy/car insurance plan. Every single brochure for alumni donation and the wonderful benefits like the magazine, autographed basketballs, posters, pictures, Christmas ornaments, etc.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Um...I don't need that stuff right now. It would be nice of them if they could give me money instead of asking me for it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Today, I got a letter from them. It asked me to fill out a form so they could keep track of how I was doing and so they could update their records...so they could send me more stuff asking me for money. I was sorely tempted to put in wrong information. Like giving them the phone number to a pizza place in Seattle, Washington. The address of a homeless shelter in New York City or some place in the middle of nowhere. Just to stop getting that stuff.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Considering how well they can track people down, I wouldn't be surprised if the alumni association could send you mail anywhere, any time. I could change my name, have a new address, an unlisted phone number, and join the witness protection program, and the alumni association would still be able to track me down and ask me for money.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-88119091062846472792007-07-15T19:56:00.000-05:002007-07-15T20:22:26.162-05:00Car Watching<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about me and the little things happening in my life that I find interesting. If you don't like what this site is all about, leave it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">While driving in Lawrence, I look at the cars that people drive. This year, I've noticed a sharp increase in the number of Ford Mustangs on the road. In the past years, I would notice a whole lot of Beetles. I guess that was the vehicle of choice in past years, considering the hippie/college town vibe that Lawrence is known for.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Of course, a lot of the cars being driven in Lawrence are pretty practical and few are what you would consider luxury cars. Sure, there are the many variety of Hummers and SUVs on the road. However, they're nothing like the traditional luxury cars you normally think of.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I've seem a few BMW Z coupes in red, bronze, and silver. Every once in a while, I see a Corvette. Sometimes, it's the classic Corvette Stingray which is still an awesome car. And sometimes, it's the C06, but never a Z06. I'm thinking the $40,000 version (C06) rates high enough on the car coolness scale to top all the competition. Once you think about it, the C06 is a fine car, as good a sports car you can get for that price. Some might argue it's better than a Porsche and a lot more fun. Face it. A Corvette is an iconic car.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Speaking of Porsches, they exist in Lawrence. The one I see the most is a red Porsche Boxster. I can't imagine a yellow Porsche for some reason. I've also seen a black Cayman S and a silver Cayman driving down 23rd Street. Those were eye-catchers.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I've never seen a Ferrari in Lawrence before. Then again, you rarely see a Ferrari in most corners of the world. Except in Italy. And on a F1 racetrack or in places where the rich and famous hang out.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">It's kind of nice to see them in real life. Pictures, no matter how glossy they are, just don't have the same visual appeal as the real article. So it was nice to see a stream of Ferraris crusing down Mass Street. All of them were red, oddly enough. Or at least the Ferraris I was seeing at that moment. For some reason, I can't imagine a Ferrari that is not red. They are always red.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Apparently, the Ferrari Club of America was hosting a meeting in town. So for a few hours today, a large number of Ferraris were in Lawrence. Now, if I can only see a Lamborghini in Lawrence...</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-35706364138250140442007-07-04T20:55:00.000-05:002007-07-04T22:23:13.852-05:00I Hate the Oreo Commercials... a Rant on TV<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to <a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/">The Un-Zone</a>, the only known site (that I know of) on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about me and the random things that I find interesting floating around in my head. Things can get messy up there. For some people, this site may not be for your viewing/reading pleasure. If so, then please kindly press the Back icon on your web browser. Or you can try one of the links in the sidebar.<br />You've now been warned. Any harmful effects from viewing this site are your problems and your problems alone. I'm not responsible.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I've been watching much more television than I should be watching. What I have seen lately has proven to be disappointing. And the ads talking about what will be coming on TV this summer, well, I'm sorely disappointed. I also wonder who are the idiots doing the scheduling this summer until the much better programs come back in the fall.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Maybe my tastes aren't exactly what the Madison Avenue suits think is the ideal viewer. Then again, I'm not the typical person. At least when it comes to TV habits or TV tastes. After all, I find PBS entertaining. I think that people would be smarter and much more well-informed about the world if they watched PBS and read some more books and newspapers. It's depressing when people know all the details about Lindsey Lohan's drunk driving/drug use/party behavior yet know little about Iraq. Or when Paris Hilton's time in jail trumps the war in Iraq that's nor really a war as major combat has been declared officially over 3 years ago. I digress. You can see my personal views on American society aren't that popular.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">If everyone had my tastes in television, TV might consist of cooking programs (nothing too saccharine-like, commercial-grade fluff like Rachel Ray. How I miss Julia Child), science shows like NOVA, British mysteries, sports like football and basketball, and lots of comedy (Monty Python, Red Green, In Living Color, stand-up, etc. SNL's quality is nothing like what it used to be. Think of the glory days in the 80's and early 90's), and certain types of movies. To accurately describe the movies I like would take a while. It's an odd and ecclectic mix of the stereotypically high-brow and the stereotypically common and average. Nothing that would make much money if it actually became a TV channel.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I hate the Oreo commercials they are broadcasting right now. I absolutely hate them. Despise them. Loathe them with great contempt. I think they are one of the most annoying commecials I have ever seen, as well as the biggest waste of perfectly good money and time ever.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I remember when the Oreo commercials were good. Sure, they were kind of kitschy and cloyingly Norman Rockwell in their nature. And they pulled on the emotions a lot. There were the three ballerinas who poured their milk into one glass to dunk Oreos. And there was the little boy who had a sippy cup. And there were the numerous father-son, mother-daughter, grandparent-grandkid commercials when everyone got together and ate Oreos with a glass of milk. Those were simple, well-made commercials that, I believe, appealed to everyone. Who hasn't had an Oreo with a glass of milk?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And now, the commercials make me want to smash a television. Seriously.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">There were the series of commercials that had two people competing against each other on who could eat their Oreo the fastest. The one where they showed people licking the creme filling. That was disgusting in my opinion and it turned me off. Couldn't look at a package of Oreos without imagining tongues licking them and coating them in saliva before dunking them in milk.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Currently, the commericals have taken the levels of annoying and sheer stupidity to a place I never thought was possible. The first commerical is the "Cat and Girls Singing" commerical. In this commercial (made to look homemade with the camcorder and shaky video quality), some girls are singing the Oreo jingle while their cat is playing with a dish. The commercial is already annoying as the girls can't sing worth a damn and I want to smack them to shut them up. If that wasn't bad enough, when the plate of Oreos fall into the cat's dish of milk, the girls start screaming like it was the coolest thing ever. No. It's not. And the screams are annoying as well. It makes me want to reconsider having children. If this is how they're going to end up being like, well, I sure as hell ain't having them.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">In addition, I also hate the "Chin Face" commercial. For some reason, the makers of Oreos want to torture people watching TV by choosing the most annoying and least entertaining ways of selling their products. They've got the multicultural kids/adults, which isn't a bad thing. But they all stink at singing. Seriously stink at singing. It's like they studied and graduated magna cum laude from the William Hung Acadamy of Vocal Arts. If this was done in a cute/entertaining way like the Oscar Mayer commercial, I would forgive them. But they don't do it in a cute way. Oh no. The Oreo people have to do the fucking chin face.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">For those that do not remember the <a href="http://chin-faces.com/">Chin Face</a>, it's when you stick little eyes on your chin, cover the rest of your face with cloth, and pretend your chin is your forehead. It's the amazingly unfunny shit that thousands of people/sheep/dumbass morons did during the late 80's and early 90's so they could win $10,000 on America's Funniest People or America's Funniest Home Videos. That period in time when Bob Saget and Dave Coullier were the hosts of the shows. The embarassingly stupid and pointless cultural phenomenon that I thought was dead and buried under ten feet of concrete like Jimmy Hoffa. I didn't find it entertaining back then and I sure as hell don't find it that fucking hilarious right now. Whenever I see a chin face video, I wish I could beat the person and ask them "What are you thinking? It's not funny!" I want to do that to the Oreo people as well.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I also think that the network executives are fucking crazy. Whoever came up with the new show ideas were retards. And whoever approved those ideas are even bigger retards. And whoever thinks these shows are amusing, well, you guess.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">ABC has a show that's supposed to be similar to Candid Camera or something like that. I've seen the ads promoting the show and I don't think it's that amusing. Or that funny. Or even worth watching. Whoever made that commercial was a sadist. I don't think it's funny when someone pretends to stab themself in the hand with a sharp butcher knife. Or it's even remotely funny when a person thinks a guy in a wheelchair is coasting down a hill and it looks like they might get hit by speeding traffic. A normal person would be shocked at that. That's the normal reaction to an event like that.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Think about it. If someone actually stabbed themself in the hand with a knife by accident, would you laugh at that and find it hilarious? If a person in a wheelchair lost control while going up a hill and was about to get hit by a car, would you find that funny? A normal person who saw those events happening and didn't realize it was fake, would be scared, shocked, etc. You don't laugh at them. If it was for real, then what? Would you laugh at them for acting that way?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Anyone who thinks that is amusing is sick. It's not funny. It's tasteless. And I'm a person that is pretty open to lots of things.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-56369036079994340672007-07-01T11:59:00.000-05:002007-07-01T12:01:34.075-05:00I'm Not An Employee<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. This site is all about me, the things that I find interesting, and the events that happen in my so-called life. If this is not your cup of tea, then this site is just not for you.<br />It's time for an update to this site, something I am doing on an irregular basis. I've been keeping busy doing other tasks, so the amount of free time I have to spend on things like this is not as much as before. Despite the lack of time, I will try to make posts on this site as often as I can.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">A funny story. Since I come from a South Korean background as both my parents are from South Korea, I visit Asianl supermarkets that sell Korean food. The one in Lawrence does not carry certain products that I want, so it is necessary to make a trip to Kansas City. There are two Asian supermarkets there and both have the products that the Lawrence store do not have. Of the two Asian supermarkets, I prefer the one at 103rd and Metcalf. It has a much larger variety of items--everything from noodles, produce, candy, snacks, and beverages--and in general, the prices are cheaper. Then again, if you're importing anything, it is expensive, unless it's mass produced and sold at a retail store like WalMart or Target. I digress.<br />I'm shopping at the Asian supermarket at 103rd and Metcalf. I'm pushing my cart, going through the aisles, looking at the various food products being sold. I'm in the aisles selling sauces when a Korean girl (probably attending college) and with her boyfriend asks me, "Excuse me, do you know where the dried seaweed is?"<br />For those who cringe at the thought of dried seaweed, consider this. If you eat at a Japanese place serving California rolls, you're eating dried seaweed. Guess what makes ice cream so creamy? Ground up seaweed. Same thing with lots of other food and products like shampoo and soap. Seaweed is everywhere.<br />I respond, "I'm sorry. I'm not sure."<br />"Don't you work here?"<br />Um...I wonder why she asked that? I guess that she saw that I was obviously Asian. I'm in the store. Therefore, I must be an employee. Uh...the cart makes it obvious that I'm not an employee. I'm not carrying any clipboards or the little price sticker device or anything that would make me an obvious employee. If that wasn't good enough, I'm asking myself, "Where is the red pepper paste?" If that isn't enough, then I don't know what is.<br />"Uh, no. I don't work here."<br />"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I thought that since you were Asian..."<br />'That's OK. I'm not sure, but I think the dried seaweed is over there." I point towards the back of the store.<br />"I'm so sorry for the mistake I made." Why Koreans (she did speak in Korean and what she did speak, I understood. Stuff like "I'm sorry, thank you, etc.") have to appologize so much is beyond my comprehension. I've read about the cultural differences, but it still makes little sense. "Thank you (In Korean, mind you)."<br />This makes me think that I should carry a sign that says "I DON'T WORK HERE" whenever I go to an Asian supermarket or any other store that caters to Asians.<br /><br />That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-74547825201695100722007-06-28T19:14:00.000-05:002007-06-28T19:17:23.633-05:00Graduating From KU...Again<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to <a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/">The Un-Zone</a>, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Just in case you don't know, this site is all about me, my so-called life, and all the little things that I find interesting. If this is not your particular cup of tea, Google can help give you some other sites to look at. And so, something that you've been waiting for. It's an update to this site, so you're getting something. This post is about graduation day. Yes, I'm late with this post, but at least I'm talking about this momentous occasion. So read on and enjoy.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em>"Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don't know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it."<br />--Sir William Haley<br />"Sometimes justice cannot be had without money."<br />--Thomas Hobbes</em><br />In August 2004, I entered the doors of the University of Kansas School of Law as a 1L, the bottom of the totem pole. Like the other students in the class of 2007, I didn't know what to expect. I had heard and read all of the stories about law school. There were the professors from Hell who employed the Socratic Method, berating students who failed to prepare for class. There were the legends of the heavy workload, all of the reading that had to be done. The grading system that was supposed to be fair but was unfair. There were the final exams and the dreaded Bar Exam and how that was another level of Hell added to the mix. Then there were the other stories I heard about law school.<br />Graduates of law school made money, lots of money. They were respected members of the community. You had a certain level of prestige that others did not. You could never fail law school unless you totally messed up and failed to show up for the final exam. And there was the legendary parties and social events where drinking alcohol was the norm. The four day weekend that began on Thursday night.<br />On May 17, 2007, it was all over. The last final exam was turned in. Graduating 3Ls attened parties, got drunk, and celebrated the end of law school. Not the end of the semester, but the end of law school. No more school, no more classes, no more books. The end.<br />And what did I learn from three years of law school? I learned quite a bit. I learned about the intricate nature of contracts, criminal law, criminal procedure, property, civil procedure, constitutional law, international law, trial advocacy, income tax procedure, and everything else under the sun. Much of this involved concepts expressed in a foreign language like Latin and French instead of English. This made understanding such concepts harder. I also learned that law school will cost you money, lots of money. Any graduate of law school will know what I am talking about. I also know that I really don't know everything there is to know about the law, but a very broad but shallow base. The rest I will have to learn on my own in the real world. I guess that this is more that what most people learn in law school.<br />Even then, despite turning in my last final exam, it still was not official according to the University of Kansas. It would not be official until May 20, 2007 when the Chancellor of KU declared it so. But first, came the law school hooding ceremony. There would be some extra guests there: The Westburo Baptist Church led by Fred Phelps.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em>"Fundamentalists are to Christianity what paint-by-numbers is to art."<br />--Robin Tyler</em><br />Fred Phelps and the Westburo Baptist Church...what more can be said about the congregation led by a homophobic minister who used to be a lawyer? Good ol' Fred Phelps used to be a lawyer. Interestingly enough, he was a civil rights lawyer. This might be a case of irony writ large. Note the phrase "used to." He was disbarred in the State of Kansas. Not for his religious or personal beliefs, but for conduct not becoming of a lawyer (basically, this is lawyer-speak for being a total jerk). Now, Fred Phelps graduated from a Kansas law school. I get the feeling that the law school who gave him the diploma would have taken it back long ago had the law school known this would be the result. Ah, but you can't turn back time. You just have to make the most of it. Just like Fred Phelps.<br />He has protested the KU Law hooding ceremony for many years. It's a chance to get a whole lot of free publicity. At least 1600 people who will walk by and see his motley crew of homophobes. If he gets some coverage by the news, all the better. As long as people see him, he wins in his opinion.<br />While waiting for the ceremony to start, several guys I know thought this would be a great photo opportunity. Why not take a picture in front of the protestors? Show some KU Jayhawk spirit. The Westburo Baptist protestors, showing the level of wit that the average Mizzou basketball fan possesses (who also have no intelligence or taste at all), has a sign saying "KU Gayhawks." So the guys and I take a few pictures.<br />After talking to some people in some random conversation, it's not time for the hooding ceremony.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em>"My parents sent my brother through law school. He graduated. Now he's suing them for wasting seven years of his life."<br />--Mike Binder</em><br />Faculty and staff at the law school describe the hooding ceremony in grand terms. After experiencing this rite of passage, I'm not that impressed. Just like many things in law school, it sounds important but really isn't once you translate it to English. Then again, the law school is telling me that I've graduated, so it's important.<br />Law school has taught me how to condense everything and just mention the really important stuff. Procession down the aisles. Sit in chairs. Listen to a professor give out awards to members of the graduating class. The Dean gives the traditional graduation speech. Get up again. Get on stage. Shake hands. Get picture taken. Shake hands. Get back in seat. End of ceremony.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em>"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."<br />--George Carlin</em><br />It would not be an official graduation at the University of Kansas unless one has taken the "Walk Down the Hill." This is what makes the graduation official to most KU students, not the ceremony inside Memorial Stadium. It's an essential symbol, an essential rite of graduation. The walk through the Campanille and down the hill is graduation. Sure, the speeches and pomp and circumstance is nice, but The Walk Down the Hill is what counts.<br />All the administration at KU tells you to be at your appointed spots before 2:30 PM as that is when the ceremony begins. That's when the walk begins. What they don't tell you is that there's a certain order in how the various schools go down the hill. The professional schools go after the College of Liberal Arts and Science or CLAS. Law is second to last. Medicine is last. Basically, the Law school has to wait for about an hour until everyone else has gone down the hill and entered the stadium. When it gets hot (which has happened before), near a hundred degrees, waiting for an hour can seem like a lifetime, an experience akin to torture.<br />Thankfully, it was a glorious day in May. Not too hot. Just right.<br />Since this is the law school, this year's graduating class was prepared for the long wait. And since this is law school, there was lots of alcohol involved. Several students brought in bottles of champagne. Not to open and spray everyone, but to drink. As one law school student commented, "Spray the champagne everywhere? Hell no. That would be a perfect waste of alcohol. I'm drinking this. Want to join me?" And he pulled out two glasses.<br />Someone was even more prepared, just like the Boy Scouts, but with a ticket to AA. His backpack had a miniature stereo system installed. Plus some ice packs. And a bottle of champagne. And a bottle of Jack Daniels. And a bag of ice. And a set of highball glasses to boot.<br />Some other people brought along cigars to smoke. One person came in late, carrying a box containing beer. Let's just say that there was a miniature party in the law school section. Anyone dropping by the law school section would have had a marvelous time or at least gotten very drunk. In either case, there was loud music and alcohol.<br />Oh. The graduation ceremony. It was like any other graduation ceremony. A moment of silence. The singing of the national anthem. The general procession of awards given out to excellent students and faculty. A lot of other filler that extends the ceremony an additional thirty minutes. The graduation speech given by the Chancellor. This speech does not change that much each year. Though he might give a new speech if it's been used too often, like once every, what, ten years. It may seem like a joke, but it's the truth. I've heard this year's speech last year. And also again in 2004 when I graduated from KU with a BA in English.<br />Once this was all over, the ceremony came to what everyone was there for. The Chancellor officially conferring degrees to all the worthy graduates. This didn't take too long...about five minutes. Then it was done. Oh. I forgot a few steps that were necessary for a KU graduation ceremony.<br />No graduation ceremony at KU is official without the Alma Mater, the KU fight song, and the Rock Chalk Chant. Once that is all done with, the ceremony is finally over. And this was done in quick order.<br />That was graduation day in a condensed form. If you would like to know more about graduation day in detail, please graduate from KU. That's the best way to know.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-60531082731534067632007-06-20T21:20:00.000-05:002007-06-20T21:48:56.270-05:00Last Comic Standing<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to </span><a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The Un-Zone</span></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update to this site. Only because I love you and I know that you want to know what's going on in my so-called life. You must be dying to know. Come on...admit it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I've been watching Last Comic Standing on NBC and I'm kind of enjoying it. Being an amateur stand-up comic and all. Well, I'm more of a dabbler with this gig. As much as I would like to make millions and become world famous, I've got to make a living. So that dream will have to wait for a while. Hey, you've got to be realistic and this is realistic. Anyways...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">When the comics are good, the show is great. The stuff is funny. On the other hand, when the comics are bad and have no idea of what is funny, well, there's a certain amount of cringe involved. It's that "Oh my God, what the hell was that" feeling. And there have been many instances where I watch the television and wonder. Of course, these people are probably aware that they suck like a prison inmate. They just want the chance to be so horrible that they make it on TV. Kind of like American Idol and any other show of that kind.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">But this would not be such an interesting post if I was all positive. There's a part of the show that drives me mad and provides much agony. The little thing they call "Joke of the Day."</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I'm not exactly sure why they call it "Joke of the Day." Yes, you get a joke if you pay $.99 and make a text message. Assuming the crap they call a joke is actually funny and not a bad pun like this:</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><blockquote><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get their ears pierced?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">A: A buccaneer! (Buck an ear)</span><br /></blockquote></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Cue up the groans on the laugh track, get a gun, aim it, and pull the trigger. This is the kind of unfunny, trite shit you would expect from a hack or a six year old doing a bad ventriloquism act. And they expect you to pay money for jokes you can get free from the Internet. A search on Google willl get you thousands of sites filled with these lousy puns. This must be why they call it "Joke of the Day." Only an idiot would pay money and the joke is on them</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I've now taken these lousy puns and made them better. For example, they had a joke that went like this</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><blockquote><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?</span></blockquote></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The actual answer is pretty dumb (a carrot). My answer is the love child of Gilbert Gottfried and Carrot Top. Apparently, other <a href="http://misterrandom.com/category/bad-jokes/">people</a> have noticed that these jokes suck. Whoever came up with this idea was high on drugs or recently had a lobotomy.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Last Comic Standing also has a website feature that allows people to submit even more of these horrible jokes so others can get tortured by them. Damn. What are the odds that talentless hacks who have no idea of what's actually funny will submit more of these jokes? Very good. If Powerball had odds like that, I'd be playing and paying for every jackpot. </span><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Please, for the love of God, do not submit more of these horrible jokes.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-49012422057778316342007-06-09T20:51:00.000-05:002007-06-09T20:54:55.248-05:00Graduation Party<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Just in case you don't know, this site is all about me, my so-called life, and all the little things that I find interesting. If this is not your particular cup of tea, Google can help give you some other sites to look at. And so, something that you've been waiting for. It's an update to this site, but in a slightly different format than normal. OK, you might not know the difference, but I know the difference at least. Either way, I hope you enjoy this post.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><br /><em>And I'll be back 'round again<br />Yes I'll walk in time with you old friend<br />And we'll find that place<br />That we had danced in so long ago<br /></em>--"The Song That Jane Likes," Dave Matthews Band</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Recently, I wrote about how I attended a law school pary hosted by one of my friends from law school, but failed to mention what happened at said party. I've had several opportunities to write about this experience, but I have failed to write about this event. It's not that I am lazy (well, maybe I am). It's not that I have some qualms about writing about the drunken antics of fellow law school students (as Gray Hall proves otherwise). I guess that I've just ignored it for other things to write about. This is one of the few law school social events that I have attended on a consistent basis. The other event that I have attended consistenly is Pub Night. As you may have guessed, I am not much of a social person. Maybe I should rephrase that to say "I don't attend many social events." I have issues when it comes to social interaction and so I try to be selective when it comes to social events. When I do attend a social event, I tend to have fun.<br />Again, I digress. I digress a lot with these posts and I tend to go on tangents. You probably don't want to read more about my problems, so I will continue with the point of this post.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><br /><em>So why would you care<br />To get out of this place<br />You and me and all our friends<br />Such a happy human race<br />Eat, drink and be merry<br />For tomorrow we die<br /></em>--"Tripping Billies", Dave Matthews Band<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">For those who do not have experience about law school and law school students, the traditional law school social event, whether hosted by the school or students, is fueled by one thing: large amounts of alcohol. This liquid is the magic elixir that makes law school social events what they are. It's the glue that binds law school faculty, students, and alumni. For some reason, alcohol and lawyers go well with each other. Then again, it's not all that surprising as law school can be a stressful and painful experience. Drinking alcohol is an effective way to release steam.<br />At your officially sactioned school event, one with distinguished alumni attending, behavior is generally clamped to keep a level of acceptable behavior. One does not want a drunk person doing stupid things. There is a lot at stake, like a big donation. And it doesn't look too good if your students have a reputation for being drunken morons. And having a reputation for being the drunken idiot can screw employment opportunities.<br />At your student hosted event however, nearly anything goes. Typically, the traditional law school student party has three essential elements--loud music, cheap food, and lots of alcohol. The alcohol is beer in a keg, and in large amounts, as many kegs as one can afford. Beer is essential. One cannot play drinking games like beer pong. One cannot get drunk without drinking large amounts of beer as beer leads to whiskey and tequila shots. One cannot have the necessary frat-like atmosphere without beer. In essence, without beer, nothing is possible.<br />And this year, the end of the year finale hosted by my law school friend, it was just like every other year. Lots of loud music. Copious streams of beer flowing freely from kegs. Large groups of people playing raucous games of beer pong. In general, law school students getting drunk. And not on their best behavior.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><br /><em>...this man drinks, that man drinks<br />a hundred drink, a thousand drink.<br />Six hundred pennies would hardly<br />suffice, if everyone<br />drinks immoderately and immeasurably.</em><br />"In Taberna Quando Sumus (When We Are in the Tavern)," Carmina Burana<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">As the designated photographer (as I was the only person there who could operate the camera due to being sober), I took pictures of the event. I managed to take lots of pictures of people. Many of them were drinking beer. Many of them were doing drunken antics. Law school students never fail to disappoint, especially when they are going to graduate on Sunday. The last hurrah (at least until the parties on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) before the real world.<br />I count the <a href="http://kansaslawstudent.blogspot.com">Kansas Law Student</a> (KLS) as a friend. He was in my small section during the first year and we somehow managed to have at least one class together during every semester. KLS has many wise nuggets on drunken behavior and this is just one fine nugget: "You can always tell when a person is getting drunk. Things get worse and worse as time goes on." He managed to say this coherently, without slurring, while holding a Dixie cup full of beer. And this is after drinking for several hours.<br />Things did start out fine and then events got progressively worse, a whole lot worse. These moments were very entertaining. The pictures captured many priceless moments (many of them would qualify for Facebook/Myspace photos you should not post lest you wanted to lose your job). Here are some of the moments that I captured on film, but described in words.<br />*There was a girl who worked in the district attorney's office. One of the more common cases that gets prosecuted in that county is drunk driving. Well, let's just say that I got a few pictures of here making an attempt to drive a car while plastered on beer. Not a car for adults, but a Barbie Jeep.<br />*I got pictures of another person trying to operate that same Barbie Jeep. This time, it was a guy, but he was trying to drive it in reverse. I'm not exactly sure what is the attraction with drunk people and toy cars, but this was a common occurence that night.<br />*How about a drunken toast with Midori Melon, the green alcohol flavored like something other than melon and an integral part of a large number of cocktails? I got a lot of pictures of drunk people making toasts. Most of them made funny faces, so the pictures are kind of funny.<br />*Posing for pictures is a common occurence when a person has a camera. Under normal circumstances, this is much welcomed unless one acts like a moron. It's not a good idea, however, if you are drunk. Kind of hard to keep balance if you are trying to ride piggyback on a person and that person is drunk as well. After I took the picture, one of the people asked me if she was "showing lots of cleavage." She was, so she noted that "her boobs were spilling out."<br />*I didn't get any pictures of drunk females kissing each other. For some reason, this behavior happens in other places, but not at the normal law school party. If this behavior does happen, I'm going to the wrong parties. I digress. I did, however, get a picture of a guy kissing another guy. Which was pretty funny. The look on the guy's face getting kissed was classic, though not as cool as it would have been if it were girl-on-girl action. I digress again.<br />Sadly to say, it was time to leave. I had enough sensory stimulation for one day. I had enough loud music. Enough human interaction. Enough conversation with drunk people. I can only take so much sensory stimulation before it gets to be too much. It's probably just me I guess.<br />And so, that was what happened at my friend's graduation party. There was lots of loud music. There was lots of beer flowing freely. There was lots of freinds and lots of memories made. I kind of wish that it didn't have to end, but as with many things in life, all things must end.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13180859.post-74718764754966730042007-05-25T09:55:00.000-05:002007-05-25T10:01:09.614-05:00Update to Gray Hall II<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Greetings and welcome back to <a href="http://eyeq360ku.blogspot.com">The Un-Zone</a>, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about me and the random things that I find interesting. If this is not a topic you might like, try Google and find something else.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I've done an update to <a href="http://grayhallstory.blogspot.com">Gray Hall II</a>. Chapter Six is up and running. I know I've been pretty lazy with updating, but there were other things going on in my life that had a higher priority. I doubt that there will be another update in the next week or so. It's possible. Chapter Six is based upon an interesting incident that actually happened to me while in a lovely class called Trial Advocacy. Even if you don't happen to like law or are utterly confused by the topic, this chapter will provide a certain level of amusement to your life. And you might learn something about the law as well. Two for the price of one.</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">That's all for now.</span>J.U.http://www.blogger.com/profile/08863714708298373415noreply@blogger.com0