Happy New Years...

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only know site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's all about the random things floating in my mind that I find interesting.

It's that time of the year. New Year's Eve. A time where you try to stay awake until midnight to ring in the new year. Another year to make resolutions (most of them will be broken in the first few weeks of January). Another year to live another year in a life. As you ring in the new year--2007--in your own special way, whether with fireworks, a toast of champagne, or the falling of a ball, remember that it's about the spirit of revival and optimism, to live life to the fullest, and to remember that despite the year changing, some things like friends and family do not change. That is what Auld Lang Syne is all about.

AULD LANG SYNE
Words adapated from a traditional song
by Rabbie Burns (1759-96)
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine,
But we've wander'd monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin auld lang syne.

And there's a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne


A more modern version of this sentiment is expressed by "Seasons of Love" from the musical Rent, based upon the opera La Boheme. It's a great song:
SEASONS OF LOVE
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffeeIn inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes!
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned,
Or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned,
Or the way that she died.

It's time now to sing out,
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Seasons of love!

Oh you got to got to
Remember the love! remember the love,
You Measure in love know that love is a gift from up above
Seasons of love.
Share love, give love spread love
Measure measure you life in love.


May 2007 and all the rest of your years be a great year to you all.
That's all for now.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. I'm going to keep this one short. It's Christmas today.
And so, some song lyrics wishing you all in the Internet a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hannukah, Kwanza, Festivus, or whatever winter holiday you are celebrating right now.
Remember, this season isn't about getting gifts like an XBox 360 or bright lights, but about love and caring and spending time with friends and family. So spend some time witht he ones you love.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like eskimos
Everybody knows some turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight
They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys
And goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly
And so, I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although its been said
Many times, many ways
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to.. You!


That's all for now.

Not Extinct like a Dodo, but Elusive like an Ivory-Billed

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet (that I know of right now) devoted to all things related to Un. You know the drill. It's all about the random things on my mind that I find interesting at that moment. And my mind is very random at any given moment.

I was flipping through the channels and I happened to stop on CBS. The Survivor finale. Woohoo. It was kind of interesting, unlike the Chiefs game. That went horribly. The Chiefs did not get punched in the jaw, as one commentator said, but they got smashed by a steamroller. Offense flatter than the plains of Kansas. The defense was shot up more than a heroin addict's arm. All in all, an embarassing game by a less-than mediocre team. I'm thinking 8-8. No 9-7 season for the Chiefs. I would be thinking 7-9, but they're going against the Raiders, so that should be a win. Anyways...the winner, a Korean named Yul, said something about how winning would break the stereotypes about Asians. The runner up, a Mexican named Ozzie, said a win would do the same thing for Mexicans.

The Asian (who happened to be a lawyer by the way) won through using his smarts by deceiving, manipulating, and using guile to win people over. The runner up, a Mexican, applied himself in doing tasks. He got food, started fires, won immunity challenges involving physical activity. He was, for the most part, honest. To sum up again, the Asian won.
The scheming, deceiving, smart Asian lawyer won. The loser was a hard-working Mexican who could run, swim, climb, and jump. Doesn't that break the mold we have of certain races?

I went to a party last week on Saturday. It was a holiday themed affair. I did not wear a holiday sweater with anything related to Christmas. I don't wear sweaters, especially those that have snowmen, Christmas trees, or any other holiday-related motif. Many did, however. I'm not one to wear clothing of such dubious taste, no matter the occasion.

As you may have guessed, I am not much of a social-events type person. My lack of a social calendar is quite obvious. It must be due to several reasons. One of which is a severe case of social introversion, unless some form of social extroversion is absolutely necessary. Or I find some event where I do not look out of place. Like an academic contest like Hi-Q or Scholars Bowl or a math contest...

I do show up for the infrequent event. Just enough to show that my social life, though limited, is not absolutely extinct like the dodo. See picture below this paragraph. I think my social life is like one of those SAT analogies where you pick the best one. It's sad when you can compare your social life to extinct or supposedly extinct creatures that have been exterminated from the face of the planet. Thankfully, I make enough rare showings that I am not like the passenger pigeon or the dodo:

I think of my social life (in keeping with the bird theme), the elusive ivory billed woodpecker. Thought to be extinct for many years, it suddenly and mysteriously shows up in the wild. Even with some kind of proof, the presense is actually debated. The existence is under debate. When seen, people utter words of complete awe and shock. One famous viewer of the bird, Theodore Roosevelt, said "Good God," hence the nickname of the "good God" bird. Which is the kind of reaction that happens when I show up for a social event. People think they have seen a ghost and express surprise. And then some people take pictures to mark this occasion as a rare sighting.

I now consider myself to be an endangered species in the party realm. Somewhere, someone is posting a cash reward for pictures of me. Kind of like UFO or Bigfoot sightings. This only would happen in my mind of course or in an absolutely bizarre parallel universe. It seems like everyone knows who I am without really have seeing me. Strange. My life is, for some reason, stranger than any fictional story. Which makes me, at times, question reality. There are pictures of me with actual people (unmarred by Photoshop). Not just any ordinary people, but women. That in itself is worth several million (in a worthless currency). I am not in possession of any, but I'm sure I can wrangle a digital copy. Some time in the not so near future.

It was an amusing event. Attending a function thrown by law school students is a refreshing change of pace. A law school student party is akin to walking into an alternate universe. At least for me. It's like visiting a whole other country. Ah, the sensory overload one gets. All the little details one notices. Some of the more amusing things I saw and experienced:

1. Having my picture taken with a group of attractive women. OK, this was more in the line of "Damn, aren't I a lucky guy" but amusing is a perfectly fine way of describing this experience. I had made the comment of "attending this party is like sighting an endangered species. Someone should take a picture of this." I had meant this in jest, but I guess that the person took this literally and took a picture of me and several girls. All of whom, I might add, are attractive. I, indeed, for a while, was a happy guy.

2. Never trust a law school student to add liquor to eggnog, unless they have a recipe. Adding half a bottle of whiskey to eggnog is not a good thing. Unless you want to get drunk off the fumes. Or lose your liver after taking a sip. I don't drink alcohol, but I could tell that this was going to be an accident waiting to happen. And it was, put mildly.

3. Holiday music is not holiday music without happy holiday music. Sure, Christmas carols are nice, but at least stick in upbeat stuff. A little of Mariah Carrey's "All I Want for Christmas" is a good thing. That and a little Motown/R&B will do wonders to the mood.

4. Did I mention the eggnog? It was potent. So potent, nobody could drink it. This is amazing as this is a large group of law school students who embrace alcohol as a food group. Well, two people thought it was fine, but I'm not sure about the veracity of such statements.

5. White trash holiday fashion does exist. No pictures, however. I know some of you wanted to see this. When you combine a holiday sweater, a skirt, silver heels, and red hose together, it can happen. This is coming from the girl who wore this combo and wore it quite proudly, I might say. It does bring new meaning to "Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas!" Hey, if you're going to do this kind of holiday wear, you might as well embrace it with aplomb. And she did.

6. I exist. And I have a life out of law school. That wasn't interesting or entertaining, but seeing people do double takes when they saw me was fun. People are always surprised at seeing me outside of law school for some reason.

I hope they disposed of the eggnog in a safe fashion. God forbid something bad happens. That's all for now. It is now time to hibernate and make a rare showing at a law school function next year.

Contracts...Mordor Style

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update.

Law school finals for this semester are over. Done. I will not think about law school until January 2007 when the final semester of my final year begins. Or, if the current trend continues, maybe until May 2007.

This is, quite possibly, one of the more interesting posts I have seen on a blog in a long time. Only because it combines the Lord of the Rings with contracts law. What is even crazier is that the people commenting add in their little bits to the legal analysis. This might be proof that people start out sane and law school erodes this sanity until it becomes insanity. Or it might be proof that people who go to law school are inherently mentally unstable but don't know about it until later. I digress.
I probably would have come up with something crazy like this if I wanted to, but I don't think I could sum up enough craziness to come up with something coherent like that post. I think I don't make sense to myself sometimes. Well, I'm done for this post.

That's all for now.

Back to Zero...And A Rant

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. If, by the way, you don't know by now, all the little things that I find interesting. So it's all about me. Deal with it.
Law school finals are almost over. Dealt with three of them and I should be feeling better right now, but I am not. I should be feeling much better. All of the forced regurgitation of case law and statutes, all of the poorly-written and vague questions, all of the time limits, nearly done. A month away from all of that stuff...I should be happier by now. But I am not.
It seems like I am playing a zero-sum game or even worse, one where I am losing something in exchange for a month of freedom from law school. The Rolling Stones with their song "Back to Zero" describes how I am feeling:

Back to zero, that's where we're going
Back to nothing, that's where we're heading
Straight to meltdown, that's where we're going
Back to zero, right now, right now
We're going nowhere
Right now, right now
Back to zero, that's where we're heading
Back to zero

This sucks. I'm beginning to think I am a trained dolphin at Sea World, but mentally unstable in some manner. I've been trained to jump through all of these hoops. Each time, the task gets a little more difficult. A little higher than the last. Maybe a little smaller. Maybe on fire. Maybe a little bit of both. All of these minor variations that make the task harder. Sure, it is a change, but it's the same damn task. The same damn hoops to jump through in some kind of graceful manner.
I've always had this feeling, but now, it's just become stronger and stronger. It's now the truth. The unadulterated truth. Not because I am bitter or angry, but because it's what is what. All of this hoop jumping is just a big, steaming load of freaking bullshit. None of this really matters in real life. All of those law school exams and the grades indicate nothing. Even the professors say that grades don't matter. Means nothing. But it is nice to have an A than a B, a B than a C, a C than a D, a D than an F. In law school, grades below a C are pretty much nonexistant. The C could be a D or an F, but thanks to the mandatory curve, it's a C! That A might really be a B, but you have to have some A's to get the curve right.
Professional tests? Just another way to make the profession seem good. Highest grade on the Bar? Doesn't mean a thing. Professional ethics? Laughable. You don't need a test to know what is right or wrong. Just a way to make lawyers seem less crooked. I prefer my personal ethics than what a damn test says what is OK behavior. Legal ethics, by the way, is an oxymoron. And what is "ethical" as a lawyer is pretty pitiful. It makes you wonder what really matters: doing your best for the client or doing your best for your bank account. As a cynical person, I'm guessing the bank account. Yes, there are honest lawyers who actually give a damn about such things, and not in the legal ethics viewpoint, but I wonder about them also. I wonder about myself as well and what path I will take sometimes.

God, I am a mess up there sometimes. Maybe more than sometimes. I question my sanity. Which might make me the sanest person around. Or I am severly delusional. Either possibility is scary. I think this world is messed up and has its priority backwards. Maybe I am naive in thinking this world can be better and more sane and thinking it should operate the way I think it should. I'm getting angry over things I can't change. Things that are minor, but get me pissed off and on a rant.
Society and the media considers a marriage between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes breaking news, but a car bomb killing Iraqis and American soldiers not that important. The news reporters might say things in jest, but it is indicitive of what Americans are serious about. Trivial fluff. "I know you all want to know about the marriage, but we have to get to serious stuff." If the serious stuff is serious, then talk about that first instead of some marriage that is planned and most likely, fail in a year. We have a vast source of information--newspapers, TV, Internet--and we're quite possibly, the most ignorant about what is going on in our backyard and the world. More people would know details about a celebrity breakup or a football game than what is happening in Iraq or any part of the world.
That's the scary part. Apathetic people who can't think for themselves, who accept whatever is fed to them, deciding what should happen. People who don't think and analyze. Who accept the simplest explanation of "this is wrong" and takes it in at face value. People who don't care running the place now and people who don't care taking their place.
A quote from the movie Network that describes the state of this world:

You people and sixty-two million other Ameicans are listening to me right now. Because less than three percent of you people read books. Because less than fifteen percent of you read newspapers. Because the only truth you know is what you get over this tube. Right now, there is a whole, an entire generation that never knew anything that didn't come out of this tube. This tube is the gospel, the ultimate revelation. This tube can make or break Presidents, Popes, Prime Ministers. This tube is the most awesome, god-damned force in the whole godless world. And woe is us if it ever falls into the hands of the wrong people and that's why woe is us that Edward George Ruddy died. Because this company is now in the hands of CCA, the Communication Corporation of America. There's a new chairman of the board, a man called Frank Hackett sitting in Mr. Ruddy's office on the 20th floor. And when the twelfth largest company in the world controls the most awesome, god-damned propaganda force in the whole godless world, who knows what s--t will be peddled for truth on this network. So, you listen to me! Listen to me! Television is not the truth. Television is a god-damned amusement park. Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, story tellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, sideshow freaks, lion tamers and football players. We're in the boredom-killing business. So if you want the truth, go to your God, go to your gurus, go to yourselves because that's the only place you're ever gonna find any real truth. But man, you're never gonna get any truth from us. We'll tell you anything you want to hear. We lie like hell! We'll tell you that Kojack always gets the killer, and nobody ever gets cancer in Archie Bunker's house. And no
matter how much trouble the hero is in, don't worry. Just look at your watch - at the end of the hour, he's gonna win. We'll tell you any s--t you want to hear. We deal in illusions, man. None of it is true! But you people sit there day after day, night after night, all ages, colors, creeds - we're all you know.
You're beginning to believe the illusions we're spinning here. You're beginning to think that the tube is reality and that your own lives are unreal. You do whatever the tube tells you. You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube. You even think like the tube. This is mass madness. You maniacs. In God's name, you people are the real thing. We are the illusion. So turn off your television sets. Turn them off now. Turn them off right now. Turn them off and leave them off. Turn them off right in the middle of this sentence I am speaking to you now. Turn them off!

Sorry. Went on a rant. I'm getting angry, venting over something I can't change. Stupid of me to do that. But it still remains. We're all on a trip going back to zero. And we're all responsible for it.

That's all for now.

Under Pressure...Think I'm Going Crazy

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. If you haven't guessed by now, this means stuff that I find interesting that is going on in my so called life.
It's that time of the year when the average law school student is abuzz and being active. No, I am not talking about the law school weekend. I'm not talking about the holidays. No, I am talking about the season of madness. The brief two-week period that comes twice a year when law school students are actually reading the textbooks and statute books. It is the Law School Finals period.
I've just begun my journey down the pathway to perdition today. Nothing like a lovely closed-book final over International Trade Law (ITL), specifically over GATT. The textbook is thick, densely packed with a mind-bursting amount of information, and at times, becomes incomprehensible due to the overload of three letter acronyms. There is a certain amount of information you can pack into a sentence before the mind starts to overheat and burst into flames. This treatise on GATT and any federal statute will do this to you. Which reminds me, I have a Federal Income Taxation final on Monday. The only consolation I can give myself (and to put this into proper perspective), is that it can't be as bad as the Federal Income Taxation final. Which will involve slogging though the Internal Revenue Code. If you've taken a glance at the statute, you will know what I am talking about. Believe me, the 1040 forms aren't that bad. The freaking Internal Revenue Code it is based upon is worse, much worse. This isn't much of a consolation. Not at all. Forget it.
Anyways, the ITL final, as I said earlier, was a real doozy. The first problem was not that hard. It was straight forward, though very open ended. You could have written an entire book about one of the questions (multiple parts to every problem) in the first problem. Interestingly enough (note the sarcasm coming), people have written books about the advantages and disadvantages of free trade agreements with the Middle East. And I am supposed to give a precise, concise, well-written answer to this question and I have an hour? And this means using proper grammar, or as the professor would like to put it, "Queen's English?" He did, after all, get a British education while in the London School of Economics and I also believe, Oxford University. Which is true.
The second problem just got worse. It was a lovely Article III question involving like products. Are "men's dress shirts" like products with white unisex shirts made of a cotton/polyester blend? You have to go through Article III of GATT, the Japan Alcoholic Beverages test on like products, the rules on product descriptions with the Harmonized Trade Schedule, and a slew of other things. Once you do that, and the HTS doesn't work, you need to go on a different route of analysis involving comparing the subject merchandise and relatively similar items and see if that works. This is, supposed to take an hour, but of course, there is a second part to this problem involving the deep question of what makes a leather belt a leather belt. And of course, that involves another test that depends on some factors that depends on...you get the point. By this time my brain is burning out or just about past well done and going into charred.
The third problem was...well...not fun. Not freaking fun at all. There were very little facts to base an actual detailed calculation and some things just could not be quantified into hard numbers that neatly fit into the Dumping Margin calculation. How much is something like lost profits worth? Or the fluctuation of the Indonesian rupiah compared to a dollar during the year of 2002? Oh, you could add in some stuff about zeroing and the meaning of "relevant" information to the mix and well, that adds to the sheer impossibilty of giving a concise yet detailed answer in an hour.

Queen and David Bowie sum up the experience nicely (sorry for all those Queen fans who know I am taking this song way out of context) with the following excerpts from the song "Under Pressure"

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
.....
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

Or the following from "Think I'm Going Mad" by The Rolling Stones:

This season that'll pass
Think will be my last
I know my mind's afloat
Sometimes I feel so young and sometimes I feel so old
Yeah you want to see, you want to see all the things
And I'm thinking, they say that your crazy
They say that your insane
I think....and I think I'm going crazy
And I think I'm going mad
You ought to see my shaking hands
I think I've been drinking lots of cups of coffee
I think I've lost my head
I think I should be sacrificed
I think I should be put to rest
Save yourself
And I think I'm going mad
Think I'm going now
Think I'm going crazy

The fun continues on Saturday. Public International Law. Let the good times roll...
It will all be over soon. So soon.
That's all for now.

Me and Fourth Place...

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet (that I know of) devoted to all things related to Un. If you don't know it by now, it means stuff that I find interesting. If this is not your cup of tea, or you were hoping for something else, then please hit the "back" icon on your web browser. Or you can press Alt + left arrow (press both at the same time) if you don't want to use your mouse.

I competed in an Open Mic Competition yesterday. It wen't pretty well. Considering that I got fourth place in the Standup Competition (a long story that does not need to bear repeating), I really should not have made it to this competition. But, since the third place winner could not make it due to a conflict, I got to take his place in this little bit.
To make a long story short, I do my comedy routine. Considering how not-so-well other times have gone (like forgetting punchlines and jokes), I do quite well. But then again, the guy who plays the piano and sings songs about stalkers and bad dates is coming up next and he will kill the crowd in a good way. Compared against him, my performance would be a bad night. The best joke of the night is this one involving world peace and M&M candy:

This world is messed up. I think the world should be like a bag of M&M’s. They represent the world, as it should be. Different colors on the outside, same center in the inside. They exist together, making a delicious mix. Brown ones: African-Americans and Hispanics. Red ones: Native Americans. Yellow ones: Asians. And the white...there aren’t any white M&M’s. No
wonder why things work so well. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Could you imagine the situation if there were white M&M’s? The same crap that has happened before. They would enslave the brown M&M’s. Then they would steal space from the red ones. Finally, they would blame the yellow ones for taking away all of the jobs.

It's nice to make jokes that poke fun of serious issues with a politically incorrect and irreverent sense of humor. One of the poetry slam people talked about race, but in a more emotional and more eloquently stated manner. I just do the jokes.
During the intermission while the judges are tallying the scores, the judges allow audience members/participants to hit the mikes again. So I decide to entertain the crowd with some impressions. This went over very well. It seems like that people do not expect an Asian to do Sammy Davis Junior in an eerily similar manner. I probably should have tossed in the Woody Allen bit about adoption, but that might have been a little too much. I should try that next time. Maybe. I think. I guess.
To make a potentially long story short, I get fourth place. One place away from getting a gift certificate that can be used to buy things in Downtown Lawrence. Fourth place. So close, and yet so far. Which, oddly enough, whenever I do these competitions, is the ranking I get every time. There must be a strangely perverse reason for this. Not that I am complaining or anything, but why fourth? It may be due to a certain lack of smoothness in delivery, but why fourth?
Oh well. This is the way things are in the world. I can't complain about this. All that matters is that I did a good job and can be proud in what kind of work I have done.
Then again, if I did get something higher than fourth place, like third, second, or even first, I might consider that a larger fluke. And I might wonder what sick sense of humor God has in these things. The philosophy I shall leave for others to worry about.
I guess that I shall have to work on the jokes and the delivery. There's the spring semester contest and I need to do better. Get funnier jokes. Work on delivery. Maybe I can get third place. Or I could just get another fourth place. This might be a repeating cycle.

That's all for now.

Winter Weather

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet that I know of devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for one of those friendly little update things that I try to do every so often. Because I am in a giving spirit right now.

If you are not in Kansas or for that matter, in the general Midwestern area, you are missing out on some of the most messed up weather right now. If there is a Mother Nature or higher being out there, then He/She/It has a twisted sense of humor. It kind of makes me want to be out in...I don't know...how about Cancun or some nice tropical place.
A week ago, let alone on Tuesday, it was in the mid-sixties, lower-seventies. And this is in the last week of November. I was out walking without a jacket on Tuesday. Heck, I was outside on Thanksgiving and it was perfectly glorious. Nice weather. But like with many good things, it just does not last.

Cue to yesterday. The high temperature was at midnight. The rain turned to freezing rain and then to sleet. That just sucked. Driving home was definitely not all that fun. Walking outside in the stuff sucked doubly so.

If that isn't oh-so-fun, today, it is going to be cold and it is going to snow. Snow. Snow. According to the latest weather forecast, updated every so often during the day, there is a very good possibility there will be snow. About four or five inches of powdery white stuff, and it's not illegal drugs. In Colombia, however, four or five inches of a different kind of snow is a good thing. If the storm goes north about 30 miles, a foot of snow is possible. Maybe more, maybe less. All I know is that it is going to suck driving home.

Alas, no sipping hot chocolate by a warm fire for me. No hot snow bunnies for me waiting at home. One (but preferably both) would be good right now. OK, make it a double. Hell, I would go for a trifecta, but I can't think of anything better right now. I have to get busy with the Internal Revenue Code since my final in Federal Income Taxation does not look to be fun. Nothing like 1400 pages of poorly written verbiage to make one feel warm and fuzzy all over. In Kansas City sports, that would be the equivalent of taking all the contracts for the Kansas City Royals and sticking them in a binder.
Oh well. It is getting close to winter. I should have expectected this to happen sooner or later.

Then again, it could be worse and be like this:

Or even this for that matter:

That's all for now.

Post-Thanksgiving Update

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet (that I know of right now) devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for a post-Thanksgiving update, because this holiday season is all about the "giving" instead of the receiving. You all should give thanks that I am giving you this post full of Un-ishness instead of foolishness. Bad wordplay aside...

Thanksgiving was good. Ate too much. Watched too much football. Did little in studying. Unless you consider debating the merits of certain run plays on a third and short to be studying or even intellectual in some way. Then again, if you are a certain college football coach *coughh* Mangino *cough*, you might consider this the next time you play against one of the worst run defenses in the nation. That and coming up with a better pass defense plan. I guess that Mangino was thinking more about hitting the buffet line instead of Missouri's offensive or defensive line. Though I'm sure he made steady gains in gaining three hard-fought yards down the buffet line to get to the paydirt, the carving station.

Well, the political situation in Washington DC is becoming messy. Sam Brownback, who is one of the two senators from Kansas, is exploring his options in running for the role of President of the United States. That, my friends, is an interesting story. But it is made even more interesting by his comments on a Sunday morning politics show. I think it was This Week with George Stephanopoulis or something like that. He mentioned something about getting tested for AIDS. It was one of those Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moments. And I think it was for political pandering to the voters, you know. Sound like a responsible person by showing people how easy it is to get tested. Make people aware of the dangers of STDs like AIDSs. But I came up with the more funny reason. After all, if you're going to sell your body to the public and screw them in multiple ways, like any responsible worker in the sex trade, it's required to get tested for STDs.

The Jayhawk basketball team redeemed themselves from a loss to Oral Roberts and a sloppy win against Ball State(what's up with the teams the Jayhawks are playing? Oral Roberts...Ball State...there's a bad sex joke in the making already. Just toss in something about dribbling balls up the hardwood, shooting prematurely, and well, I made up one already.) by beating Florida. Good job. Now don't fall flat and come up short against Dartmouth. Sorry. Another bad one.

NaNoWriMo 2006 is about to end. I updated the Gray Hall site with another update to this year's contribution in novel writing madness. I have a few loose strings to tie up and it will be finished. I have to admit that I had to use a bad deus ex machina to get this finished. You'll spot it if you read it. Not that I don't have confidence in you actually knowing what that Latin phrase meant.


That's all for now.

Another Year Older, Not Any Smarter

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet that I know of devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update today.

I have added another lengthy installment to the Gray Hall blog. It is almost over. I just have what...13,000 words left? I am on schedule, maybe a little ahead.

Today is my birthday and I am a year older today. Do I notice anything different about myself right now? Not reallly. Am I any smarter with any sage bits of wisdom I can pass along to anyone? Not really. As Holbrook Jackson says, "No man is ever old enough to know better." I still don't know any better, which might make me a wise man. That's a scary thought. Douglas Adams expounds on this by saying the following:

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the
experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to
do so."

I guess that I've lived a decent quarter-century of life and I have another 3/4 to make the most out of, possibly more, possibly less. It all depends on how the die is cast. I might get the 7 or 11 and max out, or I get the 2, 3, or 12 on the first roll. I'm hoping for the 7 or 11. Kind of like blackjack. Faces and Aces are good, but if you have a 12 and you somehow decide to hit, a face card is lousy luck. I'm just hoping to get the right cards dealt at the right time. Ah, but you must make the most out of the hand you are dealt with, as some say. Horace, the ancient Roman writer/philosopher (everyone in ancient Rome was a philosopher or writer, even the military men), would say the following:

"In the midst of hopes and cares, of apprehensions and of disquietude, regard
every day that dawns upon you as if it was to be your last; then super-added
hours, to the enjoyment of which you had not looked forward, will prove an
acceptable boon."

Yes, I shall make the most of what I have right now. William Saroyan said the quite well with this little quote:

"Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you
laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be
alive. You will be dead soon enough."

Because in the great scheme of things, the life of a human is insignificant when compared to everything else.

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath
of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the
grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-Crowfoot

For death comes at an inconvenient time, no matter what you are doing at that moment when Death comes.
And I think that waiting until this school day ends will be like a slow death in some kind of metaphysical/metaphorical/analogous way. But at the end of this day, Thanksgiving Break begins. Which is a good thing.

That's all for now.

Welcome Back

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet that I know of devoted to all things related to Un. Yes, it's that time again.

It's nice to make history. Sometimes, it's not such a great thing at all. Me and my partner for Trial Advocacy made history on Tuesday night. It's not official or anything, but given the history of this class, it probably is. Apparently, we are the first(unofficially) to lose the particular criminal case we tried on Tuesday night as the defense. That is, we got the first unanimous guilty verdict.
This is a bad thing if you are the lawyers for the defense. In general, when this particular murder case is done, it is generally a hung jury or a unanimous not guilty. I guess that me and my partner just manage to clutch defeat from the jaws of victory. Or something like that.
It's not that we didn't show up or failed to try. Oh no, far from that. I guess that when all of the jurors fall asleep during part, if not all of the trial, things can go bad. Half of the jury fell asleep during the Plaintiff's case-in-chief, and half of the jury fell asleep during the defense case-in-chief. Nobody was awake totally during the trial. Maybe some of the audience members were awake, but I seriously doubt that. Some were snoring and had their eyes closed during the entire time, yet magically woke up when closing arguments were done. Just in time to vote "guilty of capital murder." That's nice to know.
Yes, things could have been done better on my part, but it's a team job. Yes, they were business students who were forced to do this for class credit, but still, you've got to stay awake during the trial to get all the facts. I like how they said the defense should have focused more on the fingerprints not matching, but oddly enough, I was pointing out that fact during the closing argument and my partner was talking about this during his cross-X of the police officer. I wonder how they managed to miss that, especially while I was emphatically pointing this out during my closing. Jurors, you can never tell.

Anyways, in other news. The Kansas Jayhawk basketball team failed their first test of the basketball season by sucking against Oral Roberts. One can come up with so many bad puns with the name Oral Roberts. I won't go there. It's kind of like the national title game against Syracuse when the Jayhawks couldn't make a damn free throw. One can only wonder why the hell the Jayhawks couldn't drive to the basket instead of trying to launch three-point baskets? Given their athletic ability and speed, it would have made a little more sense, even aginst a zone defense. Not that it really matters anyways. There was the Sports Illustrated Curse to blame. Screw the curse. They should have and could have won. The end.

I got my drivers license renewed and that took two minutes at a cost that leaves much to be wondered. Why does it cost $22 to get your license renewed in Kansas? The only real reason I can come up with is to keep the Interstate in good condition. We may rank last in tourism, but man, the roads are top rate. You've got to keep the cars driving through Kansas and not stopping to see what Kansas has to offer. Schools, however, that may be a different story given the state of disrepair for the universities and the poor showing in standardized tests. Not that "No Child Left Behind" is a functional program in any shape or form...

My birthday is rapidly approaching in a few days(next week). I'm getting older. One more year of life and I still haven't gotten any smarter, except for the knowledge of knowing I don't know much at all.


That's all for now.

An Update To My So Blog...

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for one of those things I like to call an update to this so called blog of mine that I have neglected.


To mangle Annie, like many others (you know the rap version of "Hard Knock Life"), a song about "Tomorrow":
Tomorrow, Tomorrow
I hate ya, tomorrow
Cause that's final trial day!
I had a productive Friday afternoon that ended up with me and my final trial partner more confused than ever. The only good thing about tomorrow is that the freaking Trial Ad madness will be up. I hate this case. I hate this case. Why couldn't things be a little more clear cut? Ah, but that is life.
Another time in my life when I get to wear a suit and look respectable. That's something you don't hear me say that often.

What's up with Kansas City? They lose to the Dolphins? What the...? Then again, the Dolphins were playing very well against Chicago last week, so this probably shouldn't have been much of a surprise. Then again, people think that Chicago is suspect in some ways. Oh well, at least the Chiefs didn't get beat that badly. Three point loss.
Sort of like Texas...now that was a messed up game. Very exciting to watch though. Freeman is one of the best freshman quarterbacks playing right now. K-State came out on Saturday night to play and boy did they play. The third quarter had to be one of the best (at least entertainment wise) quarters in college football. Thirty-five points in fifteen minutes with K-State scoring 21 in about four minutes. Crazy. Crazy.

I have an update to the NaNoWriMo story. I think I am above pace right now. But I am having problems thinking of stuff to write. I guess writing a novel that is a fake book that tells a story using made-up yet realistic sounding documents is making my head spin. I think I just gave myself a headache. Where is the online aspirin when you need it?

Time to go and have fun with International Trade Law and work on Federal Income Taxation. Two classes that I have neglected to study for. And two classes I am most likely going to up to answer questions during class...oh the joys.


That's all for now.

A Look At The News

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un.

If you have been keeping up with the news, you will probably know that the Democrats have gained enough seats to take control of the House of Representatives. The Senate, however, is still up for grabs.
Of course, the Republicans are stating that this is common for a midterm election, which is true. During most midterm elections, there is a loss of seats by the President's party. Let the gridlock and political sniping begin in January when it becomes official.
Anytime that George W. Bush has to come to your state to boost up campaign support, there is a definite problem. You can be sure that something horribly bad will happen. Think of the former head of FEMA, who got the "heck of a job" praise from Bush. We all know what happened to him...
This year's election can be summed with the following: catchy phrases with little substance. Republicans claimed this election was about keeping the United States safe from terrorists, tax cuts, and illegal immigration. The Democrats countered with the War in Iraq and President George W. Bush. Was there any real discussion about such issues? No. Will there be any fundamental changes like actual bipartisanship in the Congress? That's to be seen, but odds are, probably not. It's sad to think that democracy has gotten to this point. You kind of long for the days when things actually got done. As many wits have noted, "Congress is the opposite of progress."
I sum up the elections with the following by using many catch phrases used by the Republican party and some web links:
You can use catch phrases so long, but once you "tax and spend" the patience of voters, it is very likely they will "flip flop" to the other party. In essence, voters will not "stay the course" but they will "cut and run" to the other party.

That's all for now.

Correction ...Because Of Some Other Conflict

The stand up comedy competition will be at the Centennial Room on the Sixth Floor of the Kansas Union. Apparently, there was another conflict of some sort. I'm not sure what it is, but that's the way things are. It's nice to know that they just happened to change this some time today.
First it was a basketball game and now it is this. At least it still is tomorrow at 7:00 PM. If you happen to be on the KU campus tomorrow and you are near the Kansas Union, please come by.


That's all for now.

Another Update to This Blog

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. As you have guessed, it's anything and everything that I find interesting. You've been warned.

It's Election Day and I can't help but be cynical about this day. You've got voter suppression in Virginia, the new electronic voting machines hopefully working, and the only good news, no more of those freaking annoying political commercials. Those are enough to drive a person to not vote. After all, just like every time we go and elect someone, we still get screwed badly. Some pictures:


Not that I'm saying we all should be worried or anything. This is the United States of America and nothing like this would ever happen.

I'm doing a standup comedy competition along with other people trying to look like they are funny. Come and see me and these other poor souls as they try to make an audience laugh:
DATE: NOVEMBER 8, 2006
TIME: 7:00 PM
PLACE: KANSAS UNION, HAWK'S NEST (First Floor)

I've got another massive update to the story. It's nice to know that I am getting a better grasp of the fake documents. Plus adding a whole bunch of random notes from the editor can really pad the word count to ludicrous levels. Go figure that one out.


That's all for now.

New Update

I've got an update to the story at Gray Hall. It's a big update since I had a test to take on Saturday and I've been having little time to get online and update. That's the life of a freaking 3L law school student.

I'm most likely doing the stand up contest on November 8th at 7PM. It will be on the 1st Floor of the Kansas Union. If you want to see me make a fool of myself, then please come.

That's all for now.

New Update to Story and Other Stuff

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. That means stuff all about me.

I'm going to take the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam(MPRE) tomorrow and that promises to be such a load of fun (sarcasm being used here) or BS depending on your view. From the mouth of someone who took it last year, "It was like being raped" and this was coming from a guy. I'm not exactly sure what he meant by that phrase, but I think that his general meaning was that the test was not a pleasant experience. You know, I think I will need a good dose of mental bleach to get that image out of my head.

Ahh...much better now. Back to a clean mind in such a short amount of time. I might need an extra dose after the test.
I can now understand why people do not consider lawyers to be the most upright or most morally outstanding professional people out there. In Trial Advocacy, the professor said that politicians ranked higher than lawyers in credibility. Haven't they seen all those negative ads? Come on.
Actually, they might not be so far off with their thinking. I was taking a practice exam and the questions I got wrong, I chose the obvious common sense answer. This was based upon my personal beliefs, so I should have known it was wrong. Well, at least with the judiciary, it's more cut and dried. Doing bad things is definitely wrong and will get you in trouble.
So basically, in order to do extremely well and get a near perfect score, I will have to lower my personal ethical standards down to the level of a lawyer. Go figure.

HANDY TEST TIP:
Remember, with the MPRE, it's not what you would do, it's what you could do and still sound respectably ethical. The best answer is the second-most ethical answer. After all, lawyers and humans in general, are not perfect.

Then again, why do the state bar associations and the ABA say that lawyers need to be trusted as professional and ETHICAL people if you're allowed to do stuff that may not be the most ethical thing to do?
Like for instance, try the following test to see if you can think like a lawyer and survive among a sea full of sharks. It's only one question.
1. Which of the following actions, if done by a lawyer, will most likely result in a suspension of their license or result in a permanent loss of license in the state they can practice in?
A. Showing up to court during a trial while under the influence of alcohol and the scent of alcohol is noticable, even by the judge sitting twenty feet away.
B. Showing up to court during a trial while visibly strung out on cocaine and such conditions are noticable since you are jittery, acting paranoid, and a ring of white powder is visible on your shirt. While under such condition, you fail to give a proper legal defense of your client and he gets sent to jail.
C. Having repeated acts of sexual intercourse of all types with a female client thereby clouding your judgment.
D. Putting your client's money (any amount what so ever) into your personal bank account and not into a separate account.
E. A, B, C and D.
F. None of the above.

If you chose A, B, C, E, or F, you are wrong. The correct answer is D. If you show up drunk or high on drugs during a trial and your client gets sent to the slammer or loses a case due to your habitual drug use, you get a slap on the wrist punishment like drug rehab and a censure, plus a possible malpractice lawsuit. That's it and this is based upon actual case law. Even if you do it four, five, six times. Having sex with a client is bad, but not that bad. In fact, it's perfectly fine, though not an activity one should do. You might get disciplined but not disbarred. The ABA adds that if you've been having a sexual relationship with a person and they later become a client, that makes having sex with them while a client OK. But it's not like if you're having sex with them it will affect your responsibility of being fair and impartial in any way...
If you chose D, you are correct. It's the rule that many lawyers have broken throughout the years. Then again, many lawyers have gotten drunk and used drugs many times throughout the years, but that's not serious enough as comingling funds. Doing a crappy job in being an advocate, that's not serious. To be a total cynic, I guess this proves that MONEY and getting paid is more important than being a vigorous lawyer who does their best for a client.

Oh yeah, I've got another installment of NaNoWriMo on Gray Hall. It's a really long section as writing a convincing psychological report can be tricky.


That's all for now.

Forget What I Said...

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un.

You remember what I've said about NaNoWriMo 2006 and posting the novel online on this site? Forget it. I am going to use the Gray Hall site for this year's entry. I just realized last night that I like to rant and rave and trying to rant and rave on this site while posting several thousand words of an unrelated story would be too confusing and make every post way too freaking long.
So yeah. Go to Gray Hall (also known as the NaNoWriMo link on the sidebar), and read the stories posted on there. As with last year, you will be notified on this site if there is an update.
If you choose not to take a look at the other blog I kinda operate but once a year at about this time, I will have to invoke the name of the Elder Gods from time immemorial to devour your Internet connection until decide to do otherwise. And I mean it. Now, where is my human skin-covered and bound copy of the Necronomicon? Ah yes, here it is... "To invoke the name of the Elder Gods, repeat the following chant twice: Hastor, Hastor..."
There is an update so you must read it. There might be one tonight as well, since I am taking a fun test on Saturday. Being a lawyer-in-training sucks.


That's all for now.

NaNoWriMo 2006

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update.

It's that time of the year again. Yes, NaNoWriMo season starts anew. For the next month, you may notice that this blog will look strange...as if this blog was not strange enough for your tastes. I will be posting up my effort for this year's NaNoWriMo on this blog. It's a story about the general unprovability of conspiracy theories.
I knew that reading statutes and all of those indecipherable law school materials would come in handy as instead of following the traditional storytelling method of "Steele pulled out a Baretta 92 pistol from a shoulder holster," it is all told by documents. Basically, I get to make up a whole bunch of fake yet authentic sounding documents. I guess I wanted a little challenge. And I got it.
So, as a warning, if you happen to stumble upon this blog and you are wondering why you're reading a bizarre sounding entry, that's why.

That's all for now.

Happy Halloween

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update...

Happy halloween. Have fun dressing up in costumes.
If you're a female, you're probably going to wear a costume that is more risque than what you normally wear in real life. This goes for everyone, as even the regular church goers(Sundays and possibly Wednesday naight), will be dressing up this year. Unless you are an ultra-conservative and instead of dressing up in a costume and giving out candy, you will be passing out anti-Halloween tracts saying it is a sin and Halloween is a trap made by Satan as seen in this Chick Tract. We're all going to burn in Hell and there are evil Satanistic covens who want sacrifices and candy is filled with razor blades:


Just remember this, if you are a guy, do not dress up like a woman every year. It is not a good thing. Sure, you may get laughs, but seriously, consider the following. People will begin to wonder if you are questioning your gender. This goes double if you decide to go all the way and decide that everything has to make you feel the part...yeah. You're one lipgloss tube away from the sex change operation. Now that is evil.
Or you could be like this man and be Steve Irwin:


I just found out that the stand-up Open Mic contest is not on November 15th, but on November 8th. Apparently, there is a KU basketball game on November 15th. At KU, basketball wins out. So, I now have a week less to make some funny stuff up and make people laugh. I can handle that. I'm a law school student. I've been trained to make up stuff in short amounts of time.

And just in case you haven't seen this, it seems appropriate for today.


That's all for now.

The Madness Begins Soon...

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update.

Despite being a 3L in law school, and with all of the other very important things associated with it (Trial Ad Final Trial, Law School Finals in December, MPRE), I am going to plunge forward and do NaNoWriMo again for 2006. For those who do not know what this is, basically, you write or attempt to write a 50,000 word novella during the month of November.
Normally, I would make and use a separate blog to keep everything straight in my mind as well as ease of use and reading. This year, however, I am going to do this online novel posting on this blog.
You may have noticed the NaNoWriMo tracker thing on the bottom of the page. It will keep track of everything until this ends. Assuming I update this often enough.
OK, during the month of November, you might notice some really strange stuff (and I do mean strange) on the home page for the month of November. It's all NaNoWriMo related because I am too lazy to make a new blog using Blogger.
I wonder how many people will come on to this site and wonder what the hell happened to the normal spiel on here...


And for a different type of madness, an Indian version of Michael Jackson's music video, Thriller straight from Bollywood, India's version of Hollywood. I saw this during my International Trade class and boy, at 9:00 AM, it was entertaining in an over-the-top ridiculous way. There is nothing like seeing Indian zombies dressed in saris doing synchronized pelvic thrusts and the Frankenstein/wereworlf walk, lip-syncing in Hindi, and well, doing what is considered a music video in that part of the world. If you've seen it, doesn't the guy look somewhat like Richard Pryor?
That's all for now.

Political Ads

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet for all things related to Un. It's time to get another update on this site. For it seems like I won't be able to come up with much time or any ideas very soon. Nothing like preparing for a Trial Ad mini-trial...oh the joys. That and getting pre-trial orders and jury instructions printed off..all 48 pages. Nothing like making triplicate copies. I digress.

You've probably seen all of those political ads on TV. It's probably the only ads you will see on the major networks. It's kind of pathetic that I am longing for ads for useless consumer products right now. Just for some sanity. I don't think I can stand another Missouri Senate or a Kansas AG ad right now. I actually cheered when the reception went bad during a campaign ad involving one of the candidates. Not sure who it was...all the ads are so alike.
If you believe what all the ads are saying, you can summarize the "important" races and the candidates invovles as follows...
For the Missouri Senate, you can either choose between:
A. A woman who says a bunch of hot air to get votes, but does little or nothing while marrying a corrupt nursing home owner and getting money from the nursing home cronies.
OR
B. A Bush-following robot who votes 94% of the time for Bush-supported measures, who is lining his pockets with money from Big Oil and the pharmaceutical companies, and is screwing the people of Missouri by cutting their Medicaid/Medicare support, votes against raising the federal minimum wage, all while giving himself 6 pay raises.
For the Kansas Attorney General:
A. Someone who would violate your privacy by looking into your medical records and who would be so desparate by using "bottom-feeding" ads that talk about unfounded allegations that are 15 years old and says this speaks highly of the questionability of his opponent.
OR
B. Someone who might be a sexual-harasser, someone who is not tough on crime, who would use scare-tactics to get votes, and who is, quite plainly, an all-around evil person that you should not trust to be attorney general.
Given choices between those two, in both races, I would choose "neither" and put in a write-in candidate, assuming that is actually possible. Well, if those were the only choices, and I had to choose one, it would be like looking at two dirty, nasty pairs of underwear and deciding which one was, theoretically, the cleanest. Yes, doesn't this speak highly of American-style democracy?

On a related (well, kind of related note), the fun you could theoretically have while watching such ads. You've probably seen or even actively played a drinking game of some sort. Basically, the premise of the drinking game is to take a certain number of sips (or cans of beer or shots or...) whenever an action is done. For example, if you were watching the show 24, a drinking game rule might be as follows:
"Any time that Jack Bauer survives an assassination attempt, drink one shot of tequila."
With the November midterm elections coming up, it seems like nearly every ad you see on TV is a political ad determined to get you to vote a certain way or to question how good the other candidate is. Afeter enough commercials of that nature, you probably want to have a drink or two or shoot your TV. Why not make this a bit more enjoyable by playing a drinking game? NOTE: this is not meant to advocate the consumption of alcohol in an unreasonable manner. If you do drink, do not operate anything at all.

THE RULES
ONE DRINK
1. If the candidate says "I approve this message"
2. If the candidate says "family values"
3. If the candidate says "amnesty for illegal immigrants"
4. If the background is black and the letters are white
5. If "terrorism," "9/11," or "freedom" is mentioned
TWO DRINKS
1. If the ad plays corny music that you wouldn't listen too, even when you're drunk and feeling nostagic because you know it's pure, unadulterated crap
2. If the candidate says their opponent will "cut and run" from Iraq
3. If the candidate says their opponent is wrong on the issues
4. If the candidate says their opponent voted for Bush-supported measures X% of the time
5. If "stem cell" is mentioned in any way during the ad
6. If "paid for by the Repulican Senate Committee" or "paid for by the Democratic Senate Committee" is printed in small print at the bottom and quickly spoken by a serious-sounding female voice
THREE DRINKS
1. If an ad says "to be continued" anywhere
2. If bad, grainy, unflattering pictures of the opponent that make them look like an evil monster or a criminal is used
3. If carefully edited statements from newspaper clippings are used making the opponent look bad are used (EX: "misleading," "exaggerates," "wrong," "using office for political gain")
4. If the ad mentions allegations of criminal activity by the opponent or people related to the opponent
5. If the ad mentions "child pornography" and "crimes against children"
6. If the ad mentions tax cuts or anything related to the economy
THE ENTIRE BOTTLE, 24-PACK, OR AN ENTIRE LIQUOR STORE
1. After seeing one ad
2. Any time you feel like before, during, or after the ad
ABSTAINING FROM DRINKING ALCOHOL FOREVER
1. Any time the ad doesn't mention anything negative about the opponent
2. Any time the ad doesn't misrepresent the facts in any way
3. Any time you have the slighest inkling in your mind that you would want to vote for either candidate
4. The ad talks about real issues that actually affect real people in a plain, rational, non-sensational manner

I think this is quite comprehensive, but feel free to change these rules and add in any changes you would like.

That's all for now.

Random Stuff

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update.

1. The KC Chiefs nearly proved me right yesterday. I was watching the Chiefs play the Chargers and the Chiefs were ahead 20-6 at halftime. There was a look of pleasant surprise on my face as the Chiefs actually had an offense and defense (mainly defense) playing on the field. Getting three turnovers in the first quarter against a pretty good team is an accomplishment. I was discussing the game with someone and this person said, "You were too hard on the Chiefs. It looks like they are going to win."
Um...this is the Kansas City Chiefs we're talking about. They have a history of well, putting it politely, ENDING UP BEING THE DAMN LOSER, whether or not they have the lead. Remember last year when they scored an average of nearly 40 points a game but their defense allowed the other team to score 42? And when the Chiefs had a nearly insurmountable lead but due to sheer incompetence, blew it all away in the second half, let alone the fourth quarter? Or how they had to rely on last second heroics (or stupid mistakes by the other team) to win a game they should have won much easier?
So I tell this person, "This is the KC Chiefs. They can manage to lose a game, and I mean any game. They'll find a way."
And I was being proven right. The 20 to 6 lead turned into a 27 to 27 tie...with Sand Diego with the ball and two minutes left. Yes, the perfect way to show how bad the Chiefs can get. Especially the defense. The solid Red Wall in the first half somehow developed holes. The Chargers were playing a lot better.
Then the Chiefs finally got back-to-back sacks and actually stopped the offense. For once. And the Chiefs win by three.
Yes, they won. But in an ugly way. The special teams were horrible. The defense went from an A to a C-, maybe a D. I think that the KC Star is overestimating the Chief's defense. They still have major problems with blown coverage and allowing big plays when the Chiefs have a lead of any sort in the second half. I mean, if you're going to go 9 on the line, they you've got to cover everyone and not let the other team to waltz into the end zone. The offense was doing fine. Tony Gonzalez had a fine day. Larry Johnson had a more typical running day with two touchdowns. Huard did well, but he has a problem with not releasing the ball fast enough.
A good game, but kind of ugly near the end. But a win is a win...I guess. If they were only more consistent, though.

2. What party do you belong to if you can rip holes into both party's ads. I mean, I have a field day shredding Phil Kline's ads (cause he has a problem with mistating stuff...think about the medical records ad). Paul Morrison, his ads are suspect, because I don't trust any politician when they say they are going to be honest, let alone do what is best for the citizens.
The Missouri senate race ads are just bad. Both sides exaggerate and frankly, if I lived in Missouri, I would vote for neither party just due to how crappy their ads are. Come on Talent, if the best mud-slinging ad is pulling up stuff from what, nearly ten years ago, you need better campaign strategists. I can think of a hundred better ad topics than the nursing home bit. Just like the Kansas Tourism Board's slogan, "Think big!" And Claire, why are you running ads with schmaltzy music? It's getting to be annoying.
Dennis Moore, most deadbeat dads don't go leave the country if they don't want to pay child support. They travel across state lines and hide. It's much cheaper. A lot of people don't have passports, because, unlike politicians who get junket trips to exotic locales, they stay in the country.
When you see all of the ads, you end up with the feeling that voting for either party will screw you badly. It's like choosing between getting a stick of lit TNT or an armed anti-personnel fragmentation hand grenade forcefully shoved where the sun don't shine. Even when the ads are positive and they talk about what good they're going to do for the common folks, it's most likely a lie. Once they get voted in, it's a lot of benefits for them and the rich. Screw the constituents, and get a check from the lobbyists. Your vote may count, but a hundred thousand dollars here and there speak a lot louder.

3. Anyone who runs fifty marathons in fifty days is scarily superhuman and is most likely a robot. If they consider it fun, that's even more scary. Enough said.


That's all for now.

In The News...

It's time for that thing I'd like to call the update to this blog. This time, I will take a look at the news and offer some comments.

First up is the terrorist plot to attack Major League football stadiums on Sunday. Apparently, Kansas City and Arrowhead Stadium are not on the list. Apparently, according to Tony at Tony's Kansas City, Kansas City is not "major league" enough. I offer the following explanation: Watching the Chiefs "play" football is like being attacked every single week. Consider the following...
1. The plot involved a dirty bomb exploding.
The Kansas City Chiefs defense bombs every single week and allows the opposing team to launch guided missiles into the end zone. Therefore, the Chief's defense can't clean the reputation for having more holes than a US convoy driving down the streets of Baghdad. Heck, considering how often the defense got burned against Pittsburgh, all their credibility got blown away, just like a nuclear bomb exploding.
2. A dirty bomb includes radioactive material.
The Chiefs aren't radioactive, but there is an apt metaphor for how well they are playing right now. Like Three Mile Island, they are suffering from a serious meltdown that is endangering their season as well as fan support. Who wants to pay money to see mediocrity on the field? Wait, that describes voters in Jackson County who go along with this every time the Chiefs want more money...
3. Bomb explosions create lots of smoke and fire.
As stated earlier, the Chiefs get burned every Sunday they play. Hell, we might as well include Monday Night games. The fans are on fire, mainly because they are angry that the defense is beyod suspect and into the "beyond a reasonable doubt" level of bad, the offense needs Jesus to raise them up from the dead, the coaching is questionable, and the team owner won't pony up for better players. Every week, the Chiefs somehow manage to underperform in some aspect. Whether it is getting blown out or barely managing to win. Add to this the smoke and fire from the tailgaters, and hell, it looks like a massive fire is occuring there every time the Chiefs play at Arrowhead. You can spot that while flying over from at least a mile away. Or smell it.

Second, this article posted on a blog was well worth posting. I really can't make any sarcastic comments about this because it is so true. Very good use of math though. Hey, I've got one. You can change a person's heart and mind by shooting 275,00 bullets, but it normally kills them.

Third, 4 US soldiers are being court-martialed for raping and killing a 14 year-old girl and then burning her body to cover up the incident. That's not a way of winning the hearts and minds of Iraqis. And no, this is not an evil tactic used by the biased media to attack the war against terrorist being fought in Iraq. The Fark comment thread to this article is quite amusing.

Finally, C.J Giles can add to his list of bad off-the-basketball court behavior. In addition to academic troubles, he can now add failure to pay child support to this list. Giles can shoot and score (some might not up to his potential abilities), but this time, even if he did shoot and score poorly, by playing with a different set of balls, even a poor performance can lead to unexpected consequences.


That's all for now.

Corporate Donor Naming Ideas

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet totally devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update.

Recently, actually, about a week ago, the KU Law administration said that instead of repairing the faulty air conditioning equipment, they have decided to buy a brand new system. Which is greatly needed, as they old system was breaking down at least once a semester and always when it was at least 90 degrees outside. The bad news is that it will take at least March 2007 before the system in bought and installed and fully (hopefully, fingers crossed) functional.
It would suck worse than a cheap $2 whore in a seedy Bangkok brothel(no personal knowledge about this experience) if the heating system broke down during the winter, but I doubt that will be too much of a problem. After all, this is a law school and copious amounts of hot air is produced every day. There should be plenty of hot air to heat the entire law school and I doubt production would decrease.
It's probably due to budget cuts and counting every penny that has led to this problem. You've got to have enough funds to pay for everything and well, if you're a state funded school, sometimes, you have to suck up and accept a cut in your budget. Then you pass it on to the students who pay an increase of 20% in tuition costs to make up for the deficit. And it is still not enough.
The law school has corporate donors and recently, several law school classrooms were named after these generous donors. I've got some other objects and places in the law school that can be named after corporate donors.

1. CLOCKS
Clocks are a metaphor for lawyers. Both ruthlessly keep track of minutes and both are produced in large numbers. Once could add in usefulness, but that is highly debatable. At least for some lawyers.
There is another bonus. Law school students will look up at the clock constantly, named or unnamed. Most count down the time until a particularly boring class is over. None shall be named. Hey, it is the only time anyone, especially law school students, look up to lawyers for anything. Maybe if they want to know how to be unethical according to a recent poll.

2. FLOOR TILES
This may look like a totally useless suggestion, but think about this. If people are willing to pay a hundred bucks for a brick with their name on it, a law firm can pony up a thousand bucks for a measly floor tile that may or may not be made out of real stone. Unless you are a real penny-pincher or you are that poor. If you fall into one of those categories, the law school definitely does not want you as a corporate donor.
Floor tiles are highly symbolic, just like clocks. It provides a level of immense satisfaction for angry people to stomp on a law firm once in their lifetime instead of getting run over by a law firm. We all have heard of these stories before or have been part of such story. Think of this action as building positive community relationships with lawyers.

3. HVAC SYSTEM
Considering the state of disrepair and how often the HVAC system breaks down (not scheduled to be up and running until March 2007), a brand new HVAC system would be welcome right now. Seriously, as it gets hot in the law school. Very hot. Hotter that you can possibly imagine, unless you live in the Sahara.
If you can generously donate enough money to buy an HVAC system, that would be great and would save money budgeted for overpriced and distincly modern looking furniture that are boxes designed by a bald Scandinavian working for Ikea with a doctorate in an arcane field like body ergonomics and kinesiology.
Until this happens, the law school may connect your name with the current HVAC system and you shall be known as the law firm that blows out large amounts of hot air throughout the year and breaks down constantly.

4. BATHROOM
This option can be a mixed blessing. You get a room named after you but it is the bathroom. Who wants to have a bathroom named after your firm? Nothing is safe from crude jokes. Even the most straight laced adult can make up bathroom jokes. The sinks aren’t safe. "Washing our responsibility away like Pontius Pilate." Paper towel dispensers are not safe. And you can come up with a lot of jokes about toilets and urinals. “Don’t pass up this opportunity: work for (insert law firm name). Call now by flushing.” or "Pissing your dollars away" or “Just like this toilet, the law may look crystal clear, but we all know both are full of...”
By paying a small sum, your law firm can have a naming ceremony plus an additional commemorative plaque installed with a 500-character limit. No restrictions in what you can say at the ceremony or what you can engrave on the plaque. First Amendment Rights and restrictions on free speech apply. The possibilities are endless unless your firm actually has impeccable ethics, plays fair and would not even think about ruining the reputation of other law firms.

5. SPECIAL OPTIONS
By paying an additional ad valorem fee, currently pegged at 10% of your donation, your law firm can hold a naming ceremony. At the naming ceremony, your law firm is allowed 30 minutes for any remarks that your law firm may want to make. Since this is a law school, the law school is a public forum and all opinions, no matter how inflammatory, are welcome.
In addition to the naming ceremony, by paying this fee, your law firm will have to opportunity to have an additional decorative plaque installed. This plaque can be engraved with 500 characters of your choice. As with the speech, anything is allowed, but within applicable First Amendment restraints.


That's all for now. If you have any other suggestions, please feel free to include your suggestions in the comments section.

Dude...That's My Song

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet devoted solely to all things related to Un. It's time to post an update to this site. Because I know that you all can't live a day without your semi-regular post. Just kidding.

I've never been much of a fashionable or trendy guy. Though I find it funny that people pay money to keep their hair up permanently in a spiky style, whereas I pay money to keep it down. Technically, I have been stylish and trendy by doing nothing at all but succumbing to genetic makeup. And by being my non-trendy, not-fashion-conscious self, I have been fashionable several years later. I guess the "wearing clean clothes that don't make you look ugly" works and is quite timeless. Go and figure that one out.
Yes, I have become a fan of blogging and Facebook, though relatively late on the trendiness curve. That's OK. But one thing I am definitely not doing is jumping onto the "hip hop/rap" bandwagon. The one where people try to look cool and edgy by dressing up like hip-hop/rap artists and portray that they are living the gangsta' lifestyle. The ones who suffer from a serious melanin deficiency (think Vanilla Ice) and listen to Snoop Dogg and Jay-Z and other legit rappers to make up for a lack of street credibility.
You probably have seen some of them where you live, especially if you live in such hardcore gangster places like Johnson County. If I tilt my head correctly, I can hear some white guys in Olathe shouting the following phrases:

"What's up? I'm representin' the home turf 'casue I'm a OG from the OP down in Johnson County!"
OR
"We go loco in JoCo!"
OR
"Dude, THAT'S MY SONG!"

Sorry. Though I lack any street credibility, I think I know enough to know that white boy from Overland Park in Johnson County ain't an original gangster from the hood. Maybe he's representing the Country Club Plaza crowd at the strip mall hot spots, but he ain't no thug or soldier or pimp with a limp. Next time, try that little routine on someone from let's say, Cabrini Green or East Saint Louis or maybe one of the less-visited places in downtown Detroit. Ghosty Gangsta from the Shady Side of the tree won't last two seconds.

Which brings me to the main story. Ahem. I think you might recognize people in your own life who act this way...

MAIN STORY
I'm going to the gym to exercise when I see this white guy wearing a white shirt. The stereotypical wifebeater kind you get from Hanes in a three pack from WalMart. Classic. And he is bobbing and weaving his head like he's in a 15 round prize fight for no particular reason.
Maybe he's listening to some music. I've done that before, but not in the energetic fashion that this guy is doing it. I mean it's really energetic. Like his neck is a spring for a bobblehead doll.
Then it becomes worse. He does the spastic white boy breakdancing arm movements. You've probably seen them done before. The spastic arm roll. The "Wave Your Hands in the Air" and the classic Trustifarian Arm Pump. All while bobbing his head along erratically.
I'm not exactly sure what song this poor soul was listening to, but I'm sure that when he heard the song, the guy was screaming, "DUDE, THIS IS MY SONG!" And he probably pumped the volume up on the I-Pod or the radio and started to do said erratic dance movements that would get him laughed off the dance floor. Even in vanilla Johnson County. Or get his ass kicked if the tried to pull off those same moves in a Soul Train dancer audition.
But the best part, is while I'm making the left turn to go where I want to go, I take a look at the driver. He has a pained look on his face. Embarassed that his passenger is dancing like a fool and everyone is probably watching him do his sixty seconds of God-knows-what form of dancing. Comic gold.
If I only took some pictures to immortalize him on the Internet. Ah, I guess that is how things work sometimes in life.

So, remember these important life lessons:
1. Don't pretend to be cool by dressing like a hip-hop/rap artist because odds are, you look like a fool and people will laugh at you. Maybe not in your face, but they are laughing.
2. Learn how to dance hip-hop and get a sense of rhythm. It may fool the JoCo highschool crowd, but it ain't gonna pass the test in places where such forms of dancing is an art form.
3. If you suffer from "Vanillaiceitis" or the tragic disease of suffering from a melanin deficiency and trying to make up for such lack by trying to look like you're from the tough streets of Compton, get cured. This disease is easily spread and one person with it is enough.
4. Be yourself, even if it means being uncool. At least you are being yourself. God forbid you change and try to be something you're not. You'll probably fail in your efforts and they will laugh at you even harder. Spare yourself the indignity of this.


That's all for now.