We Are Family...

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
-Proverbs 18:24

"Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked.
-Mark 3:33


Greetings and welcome to the Un-Zone, a look at the inner demons and random thoughts that live in the highly unstable mind of the writer. It's possible the same demons dwell in the minds of others, but most people are afraid to admit this fact. They're the same demons, but we give them various forms and names. We live in a demon-haunted world, but we never recognize the demons exist. Do I know my inner demons? I know some of them, but I don't know all of them. They are Legion, for they are many. Who knows what other things live inside my head? I don't know and I'm sure no one else knows.

Before I get to the topic of this post, a little explanation...
When I started writing in this blog, a large number of the early posts focused on what I thought were my inner demons, the things that shaped who I am: insecurity, loneliness, having your home converted to an industrial park, etc. The rest of the posts were about topics like law school, alcohol, things I found to be sexy. After a while, I made the decision to write about more upbeat topics, to focus less on the depressing stories. If I did write about such topics, I would try to put some kind of humorous spin on it, which is very hard to do when you have the particular mindset that I seem to possess.
As you can see, if you have read the entries in this blog, I've written on an eclectic range of topics. The weapons one can build from office supplies, the numerous uses of duct tape, and cannibalism. And so it seemed that I would not write about depressing stuff or events that normally don't happen with most people, but seem to occur to me. Well, it's time for another one of these stories. Hopefully, it will be one of the last ones. And now back to the regularly scheduled post...

I know a girl at law school and her name is Megan. For some reason, I know a lot of girls named Megan. I was talking to her after Estates and Trusts one day and I asked her about her plans for this Labor Day weekend. I've been preoccupied with the weekend, ever since Monday morning. This is a rare first for me. In general, I don't hope for it to be Friday until Thursday. Some weeks, it might occur on Wednesday after a lousy or busy week. Last week, she visited her grandparents. This week, it's her parents.

Which bring me in a roundabout way to the topic of this blog, family. For most people, a family is not limited to brothers, sisters, a mother and a father. There are other people that people include like aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. I haven't listed relatives like step-siblings, once and twice removed, and other numerous designations that people have come up with. This list should be sufficient for you to understand my point. Well, I've simplified my biological family tree by a significant amount. My family? Me, my sister, and my parents. That's it. No aunts, no cousins, nothing. In Estates and Trusts terms, I've cut off most of my collaterals. I've pruned off most of the family tree in one fell swoop. Let me explain...
Put simply, I haven't been on good terms with my "family" since the summer of 1993, the year of the Midwest floods and the year when my grandmother on my father's side died. I just don't want anything to do with them. They don't exist for all intents and purposes. One would expect a death would bring the family together, but not MY "family". But first, an explanation on what caused such problems to occur.
As Pink Floyd sang, "Money, so they say. Is the root of evil today." Money. The cause of so many problems in the world. Not religion, not race, but money. Who has what. Who gets what. Let's just say that my father's relatives owed us money and they didn't want to pay it back. They used every trick in the book. They lied and cheated. They put her in the mental institution. Of course, they never admitted to doing it, but my mom found out who put her there. They put the "value" in "family values," but in monetary terms. Doesn't that make you all warm and fuzzy inside?
Just like the levees that burst during the floods, all hell broke loose when my grandmother died. That's when my father's family--my aunts and uncles, supposed family--said they didn't want us there. They didn't want to see us again, particularly my mother. My father, he's OK, just as long as he gives more money. That and stopping my mother from suing them in court. That should explain everything.
After that, who would want to have them as family in any sense of the word? Being the good Christian people that they are(one of my uncles is an ordained minister), they did their version of "forgiveness." They would "invite" us to family reunions, but they sent the invitation a week after the event occured. Then they would call asking why we weren't there. Or they might send flowers as a sign of "forgiveness". The flowers came from someone's funeral. Ain't that a great way of showing forgiveness? I was going to forgive them for what they did, but after those events...you guess.
I'm beyond forgiveness. I'm not giving it to them. I don't want have anything to do with them. Not after what my supposed "family" did.

Read the quotes up at the top of this blog. Jesus was refering to the family of spiritual believers. Proverbs refers to biologically unrealted people who act more like family than biological family. I've cut myself off of the extended biological family. These quotes have relevance.I'm confident that my immediate family--mother, father, and sister--will never abandon me or ditch me when things get bad. They'll stick with me for life. Yeah, sometimes they drive me crazy, but it's their way of showing that they care. What about the people I know, those that I consider to be friends? In most cases, I consider them to be family, more than I do my own relatives.

Who's family according to me? Someone who honestly cares about you. Someone who you can talk to about your day or the things that are bothering you. Someone to share good times with. Someone who will treat you with respect. Someone who actually gives a damn. Someone you can trust. Wow. That almost sounds like a good friend or maybe a significant other. In a way, family should be like your best friend.

Well, I think I've ranted long enough. I didn't mean for this post to be a "Look at my crappy life" post or a rap artist bio. For some reason, rap stars seem to have lousy family relationships. I'm not going down that route any time soon. And you definitely will not hear me say "Fo' shizzle" in regular conversations.

That's all for now.