Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Campus Scenery

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the kind-of-regularly updated site on the Information Highway complete with references to all things Un. It's kind of like the tourist traps on lesser-known highway exits that bilk you out of money, but this time, it's actually worth going to. Only because of the strage curiousity that compels you to watch stuff like that. Anyways...

The following may be considered one of the less politically correct posts on this website, as well as one that might offend those with more "liberated" tastes, as in the modern "everyone is beautiful" school of thought. You know, the "beauty is subjective" people.
To begin, the Onion used to have an article making fun of the phenomenom that occurs at college campuses when the weather gets warmer, as in spring and summer. Ah yes, that ritual of warm weather...the increased exposure of breasts and other body parts covered up during the winter. I told you, this article was going into such topics. It's not on the Onion website, but several blogs have preserved this article. It's a great article as it inflates language into preposterous sounding academic tripe:

“At schools in warmer climates, the vast quantities of breasts tend to take on a diminished significance, because of overexposure,” says Professor Hiram Milchan of the Hebraic Studies department of the Greater Miami Divinity School. “The campus populace tends to become jaded toward breasts, as they are nearly always visible even to a casual onlooker.”
Pointing out his office window at an impromptu dormyard game of bikini volleyball, Milchan adds, “This does not move me. The undulating,the bouncing, the firm upraised globes leaping skyward, then back downagain with a resounding bounce–all of this has become com monplace here in Florida.”
Milchan went on to explain that in northern climes, the ebb and flow of the seasons creates a corresponding ebb and flow of breast visibility. At the University of Wisconsin and other northern universities possessing lengthy winters and a left-leaning, socially liberal student body, the recent preponderance of breast displays has brought student traffic to near-gridlock, with heterosexual males and both closeted and out lesbians gawking at the near-unbelievable levels of mammarian visibility.

Which, at the University of Kansas, happens quite often during the spring and summer. Just look at the Free For All in the University Daily Kansan and you'll find one of two comments about this display.
This brings me to the point of this post. When an in general, quite pleasurable display, well, becomes eye-pollution and should be banned before other people cause accidents. Not because of stunning beauty but sheer ugliness. A fashion designer once said about the wrong people wearing miniskirts: "Never has so little been raised so much to show too much that should not be shown." You probably know where this is going to...

That said, while driving home, I stopped at a four-way stop on Naismith by Robinson and Allen Fieldhouse. The usual parade of females exhibiting their warm-weather "wardrobe" (if it can be called that) was crossing the street. Not too bad. Then along came a female with more rolls than a bakery wearing a halter top and I believe, short-shorts. Not a pretty sight. Certain people should not wear tight-fitting clothes or clothing that exposes large amounts of flesh. I know that it was eighty-something today, but that wasn't exactly the best thing for her to wear or for anyone to see. Nobody wants to see that. I'm not the most fashionable person, but I know what clothing I should wear as not to offend people with sights they do not want to particularly look at or cause people to want to shut their eyes and vomit.
At that moment, I kind of wished that the weather wasn't so warm. Either that or this person wore some more flattering clothing. Whoever came up with the maxim of "Don't judge a person by their cover" must have been deluding themself. They probably saw stuff they didn't want to see.

That's all for now.

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