Thursday, February 23, 2006

Research on Dancing

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It's amazing what great discoveries researchers at universities make. Researchers up at Rutgers have completed a remarkable study. After much time doing computer-generated graphics, video-analysis, and much time, they have come up with a result that will change the world. Their amazing conclusion: men who can dance well generally have a better chance at attracting females. Not only do they attract more females, but the more desirable ones (i.e better looking ones). Yes...that's the result of their research.
Wow...that's an amazing conclusion. There's got to be a Nobel Prize for this seminal and life-altering research. Most likely, an IgNobel Prize.
Given this conclusion, one can assume that a male can hypothetically, look like they fought ugly for fifteen rounds and won, but, with the right dance moves, get an attractive female to go out with him. Um...highly unlikely. Oh, I forgot one thing. Body symmetry. The more symmetrical your body is--your left side being a mirror image of your right--the more likely you will be a good dancer. If you look at research, people find body symmetry, especially in the facial region, to be attractive in mates. So yeah, the corollary is relatively true also. Ugly person equals ugly dancing.
However, this does not mean that if you look like Tom Cruise or for that matter, a Victoria's Secret model, you will be blessed with Fred Astaire dancing abilities. Dancing like you're suffering from an epileptic fit (complete with spastic arm and leg movements) may not attract members of the opposite sex, unless they stragely find the behavior ironically sexy.
Then again, it might depend on what kind of dancing you do, especially if you are a male. Imagine, I don't know, the latest so-called Hollywood Hunk in a flamboyant costume doing the salsa with reckless abandon. Something from The Birdcage. Not so good...right?

A wit once said that dancing is the vertical representation of a horizontal action. Another person once said how you put out on the dance floor is analagous to well...you get the point. I'm not so sure about that. Then again, I don't dance in public since I know I'm lousy at dancing. I'm not going to embarass myself.

As Genesis once sang:
Oh and checking everything is in place
You never know who’s looking on
A perfect body with a perfect face - uh-huh.
No, I can’t dance, I can’t talk.
The only thing about me is the way I walk.
No, I can’t dance, I can’t sing
I’m just standing here selling everything.


That's all for now.

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