An Olympic Update

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the site for all things related to Un. It's time for a semi-regular weekend update to this blog. It's all about the Olympics, or the Visa and Chevrolet Primetime Promotion Sports Unspectacular.

There's nothing like the Olympics. Or so it used to be before it became an over-hyped, over-commercialized, overly-dull not-so-much-of-a-sports event. There's something heartwarming about watching Nike commercials involving a drunken, underachieving, fake-philosopher skier; Chevrolet commercials that whore the Olympic march; and inane commentary that detracts from the sports. In total, the Olympics aren't a showcase of elite athletics, but stupid STFU commercials and stupid STFU commentary with some sports thrown in as an afterthought.
To bring people up to date on the Olympics, an event that less people are watching. NBC wonders why. I guess the amazingly annoying commentary, the frequent ads, and the tape-delay are not to blame for the lack of success according to NBC. It's the lack of "good angles" they can repeatedly talk about over and over again until you want to shoot the TV. Think Tonya/Nancy or maybe the Salt Lake scandal. Yeah. Earth to NBC...your broadcasts suck. Plain and simple.
A recent USA Today article failed to mention any of these more-obvious problems. They had 10 "solutions" to make the Olympics more interesting, and none of the obvious problems were solved. Their solutions were "let's put in experts who know the snowboarding lingo and have them blab inanely about the performances" and other dumb ideas. What ever happened to STFU for more than two seconds and let the viewers see the action? You can stick in your comments and dumb graphics after the performance. Or before the many and frequent commercial breaks, thanks to NBC, which stand for Nothing But Commercials/Crap when the Winter and Summer Olympics roll around every two years.

Sasha Cohen pulled a Cohen and fell not once, but twice, during the long program. It seems like she always falls during the long program. I guess she did what the experts predicted, but much earlier than usual. I really hate the new scoring system, as a person who fell and in general, did miserably, can get a medal if they stick in enough jumps to make up for their flubs. At least in the old system, people who fell, in general, didn't get a medal. Not even a bronze. Unless everyone else sucked and fell also. Thankfully, the gold medal winner from Japan stayed on her feet. If she fell, it would have been choosing from the better of three flawed performances. Either that, or some unknown dark horse would have won.
Bode "I did well subjectively which counts" Miller bombed on the slopes and did not medal. Zero medals in five events. His last name and his proclivities towards drinking booze is so apt. It brings new meaning to the phrase "Miller Time" when he skis and drinks. Or when he drinks before he skis. Though I'm pretty sure he wouldn't drink Miller as he does Nike commercials. Maybe a nice European import. He can be a brilliant skier, but his Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance schtick is pretty annoying and quite possibly, the most false thing a person can say. "It doesn't matter if I don't get a medal. I give it my all when I go out and ski. I'm an individual and it doesn't matter what others say about me or my performance." Yeah right. STFU. I don't believe that patent BS and nobody else should either.
The last time I checked, athletes didn't go out to the Olympics to watch the scenery. They go out there to do their best, represent their country, and hopefully, win a medal. Bode Miller had done very well in world competitions (assuming he stayed on his skis and actually completed a race) and for him to say "it doesn't matter if I win" is crap. Even the people who don't medal go out there to win. Even those who don't have a prayer and end up last do their best to win.
Yes, everyone does their best and gives it "their all." Bode Miller would never give less than a hundred percent effort when he skis. Everyone might be able to give 80% effort and win a medal, even gold. OK...that's nice...and your point? If not practicing at all, partying all night, getting drunk, and hitting the bars is his idea of "giving it all," then his "100%" ain't worth jack squat. If spouting philosophical bullshit and drinking beer were an actual Olympic event, then he'd easily win the goal. Anyone else who tried the "I gave it my all" and did half of what he did (the boozing), they would get fired immediately and searching for a new job. He's done a lot more practice in drinking than in skiing. Resume your drinking Bode; it's the only thing you're good at. Hope that the DUI slalom is an event in Vancouver.
The USA Ski Team touted themselves as the "Best in the World" with Bode as the one to watch. I guess the Austrians and everyone else showed Team USA who was the real number one. Yes, Team USA was number one, but not in skiing. More like number one in over-hyped.

The closing ceremonies are on Sunday night. Bode Miller might show up...if he isn't hungover from a night of drinking. Bode, now that you've shown your amazing talents in skiing, you can resume drinking with skiing on the side. Unlike in the slalom, it's OK to go through the gate leading to the stadium. Next stop on the Olympic Train is Beijing, China, where I hear the USA basketball team might actually show up, make baskets, and play defense unlike in 2004.

That's all for now.