Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet that I know of devoted to all things related to Un. If you haven't gotten it by now, this site is all about me and the random thoughts and things that I find interesting. So if you don't want to find out what I find fascinating, then try another site.
First up, I saw the KU-Oklahoma State basketball game on TV yesterday. Which makes me wonder, to use the title of a book, what's the matter with Kansas?
For some reason, when KU is on the road, the men's basketball team just collapses. They play the crappiest basketball. They forget how to make simple layups. A ball screen turns from a simple task to something akin to figuring out the meaning of life and explaining it in 50 words or less. Dribbling without traveling or double dribbling or palming or getting it stolen becomes near impossible. Turnovers are more common than assists. It's like they can't remember who is on their team. They forget how to play basketball.
It's painful, like watching a white guy from Johnson Country Kansas trying to bust a move on the dance floor when he's surrounded by a breakdancing crew.
I guess I'm used to seeing KU whip opponents like a dominatrix clad in leather. On a good day, KU basketball is a sight to see. They alley-oop. They launch from downtown and you hear the swish. They steal and pick pockets. It's poetry in motion or something similar to it. A basketball ballet.
They're a talented team. They have great big guys like Kaun and Jackson and Arthur. They have a nice combination of guards like Rush, Robinson, and Chalmers. Toss in Collins when he is healthy and you have at least four guards. Everyone on the team can run up and down the court. They have hustle and ball handling skills. The defense is good. They're a balanced team. Most of the players have played in the NCAA tournament. They have some experience playing in important games. You would expect them to win most, if not all of their games. Well, you would expect them to play consistently. But they don't.
For some odd reason, the team expects to win when they play badly, when they play like shit, when they play stupid. Which, oddly enough, rarely happens as they lose. KU was supposed to beat the Cowboys, though not by much, but they pulled defeat out of the supposed jaws of victory.
A funny story.
So I'm driving down Mass Street. This is after the ice/snow storm and the roads haven't been cleared yet. So I'm driving a little slower since I don't want to skid and end up wrapped around a phone pole or something similarly expensive and painful.
There's this jackass behind me. He wants me to drive faster. Which is kind of crazy since the roads, as I mentioned before, are still icy. And I know that the Lawrence Police Department has several police cars monitoring the traffic. And they're kind of anal about speeders. On Mass Street, there's at least two speed traps where the police are in hiding with their radar guns. He starts flashing his headlights and honking his horn thinking I'm going to go faster.
Since I don't move any faster, he decides to gun it and change lanes. So he puts the pedal to the metal and gets the accelerator going.
Did I mention that the Lawrence Police Department sets up speed traps? And there's one just a block ahead? And he's the only guy in the right lane at that moment? And he's doing about forty or fifty?
Let's just say that Mr. Police Officer didn't have to work very hard to get a speeder. Didn't have to drive more than a hundred feet to pull Mr. Impatient over.
I had a good laugh.
That was until I saw the KU basketball game (see above).
That's all for now.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Salt or Sand
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site (that I know of) on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about the random things floating in my head that I find interesting.
In the past several weeks, it's been freezing cold in Rock Chalk Jayhawk land. And I'm not talking about the KU men's basketball team in the second half. Hell did freeze over when K-State finally won in Manhattan. Apparently, the weather in Hell spilled over into Lawrence for some reason. All of that snow and ice and sleet is not making for a nice day.
And I'm not a fan of driving in the winter weather. I don't like scraping ice off the windshield and sitting inside a cold car, waiting for the heater to get going. Nope, I hate driving in the winter. I don't like losing traction. I like clean roads, free of ice and snow and slush. That's just me.
Which brings me closer to the point of this post.
Lately, on the news, there have been stories about how communities are running out of salt. Especially in places where winter weather can cause havoc. Places like the Northeast, the Mountain West, the Midwest.
Which makes me wonder. How can you run out of salt?
Of course, most communities preordered their salt and there's a shortage. But really, if you know that winter brings snow to your area, shouldn't you buy lots of salt earlier. You know, stock up on the salt. Like when it was cheaper or when the winter was warmer? Don't they plan ahead?
Yes, salt causes problems. It eats up the concrete and asphalt faster. It causes damage to metal surfaces and makes rust a problem. It hurts when you get hit by the salt spewing out of the salt spreader and it chaps skin like nothing else. But it gets the damn ice and snow off the road.
So use more sand...which the city of Lawrence has done with a vengeance. I've never seen so much sand spread out on the roadways of Lawrence before.
It's everywhere. Spreading like a horrible plague. Sidewalks are turning tan and beige. Streets are gritty, covered in sand. The snow is brown. Everything is brown. I think I've collected enough sand on the front yard to fill a sandbox. It's gotten into my shoes and socks and jeans. I have a fine layer of sand on the garage floor and quite possibly, into the carpets. I'd hate to think what all that sand would do on wood floors. Even worse, the sand makes driving worse. At least the salt "disappears" when the snow is melted. The sand, it's still there, covering everything in grit.
Is there anything good about the sand? Not really. I'm hard pressed to find something even remotely good about the sand.
Now that I've thought about it for a few minutes, I must admit that the sand does make for an excellent filler for all the potholes. Maybe the City of Lawrence can collect all the sand on the streets and dump them into the potholes. They'll be putting the sand to good use.
That's all for now.
In the past several weeks, it's been freezing cold in Rock Chalk Jayhawk land. And I'm not talking about the KU men's basketball team in the second half. Hell did freeze over when K-State finally won in Manhattan. Apparently, the weather in Hell spilled over into Lawrence for some reason. All of that snow and ice and sleet is not making for a nice day.
And I'm not a fan of driving in the winter weather. I don't like scraping ice off the windshield and sitting inside a cold car, waiting for the heater to get going. Nope, I hate driving in the winter. I don't like losing traction. I like clean roads, free of ice and snow and slush. That's just me.
Which brings me closer to the point of this post.
Lately, on the news, there have been stories about how communities are running out of salt. Especially in places where winter weather can cause havoc. Places like the Northeast, the Mountain West, the Midwest.
Which makes me wonder. How can you run out of salt?
Of course, most communities preordered their salt and there's a shortage. But really, if you know that winter brings snow to your area, shouldn't you buy lots of salt earlier. You know, stock up on the salt. Like when it was cheaper or when the winter was warmer? Don't they plan ahead?
Yes, salt causes problems. It eats up the concrete and asphalt faster. It causes damage to metal surfaces and makes rust a problem. It hurts when you get hit by the salt spewing out of the salt spreader and it chaps skin like nothing else. But it gets the damn ice and snow off the road.
So use more sand...which the city of Lawrence has done with a vengeance. I've never seen so much sand spread out on the roadways of Lawrence before.
It's everywhere. Spreading like a horrible plague. Sidewalks are turning tan and beige. Streets are gritty, covered in sand. The snow is brown. Everything is brown. I think I've collected enough sand on the front yard to fill a sandbox. It's gotten into my shoes and socks and jeans. I have a fine layer of sand on the garage floor and quite possibly, into the carpets. I'd hate to think what all that sand would do on wood floors. Even worse, the sand makes driving worse. At least the salt "disappears" when the snow is melted. The sand, it's still there, covering everything in grit.
Is there anything good about the sand? Not really. I'm hard pressed to find something even remotely good about the sand.
Now that I've thought about it for a few minutes, I must admit that the sand does make for an excellent filler for all the potholes. Maybe the City of Lawrence can collect all the sand on the streets and dump them into the potholes. They'll be putting the sand to good use.
That's all for now.
Monday, February 11, 2008
What's In My Food? The Valentine's Day Edition
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site (that I know of) on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about the things that I find interesting or floating in my head at the moment. It's all about me. If this is not your cup of tea or you came to this site because you were expecting something different, then try another site. The Internet is an amazing thing. I digress...
Several disclaimers. I am not bashing Valentine's Day. I am not that paranoid about food, though I can get nervous about food safety. Eat, knowing that the United States has food safety laws and you can be sure what is in the box or bag is what is on the label for the most part, like 99.9999%. But then again, sometimes, things fall through the cracks.
Considering I have bought rice and discovered moths and God knows what else in the bag, it might be a good thing. It's my way of telling you about food safety and what might be inside your food. It's a good thing to know what is considered "sanitary" by the United States government. In addition, it might make you think twice about what you are eating. Especially if you diet contains a large amount of processed food. If you are weak of stomach...then this post is not for you. Same if you want to eat something later. Do not read this post with a full stomach...unless there is a convenietly placed bathroom nearby.
Your night of passion may begin with a seafood appetizer. Some raw oysters, some shrimp, some clams. As you may know, seafood is reminiscent of sexual organs. And Venus herself, according to myth, came from a scallop shell. Hence the connection. However, the raw oysters...they're not all that safe. You might get ill and the symptoms are not nice. And the fish might contain mercury (a real downer since mercury causes mental illness) or worms or poisoning. Tabasco sauce will not kill the bacteria. And the peppers used in the sauce could have been moldy, insect infested, or covered in rodent excreta. But not that much...only 3% insect infested. And less than a milligram of rodent excreta per pound. Let's just say that raw or undercooked seafood should be off the menu, no matter where you get it. Expensive restaurants included.
Anyways, let's get to the main course. What do you want? Fish? Probably not. How about some beef? Like the fish, it might have beef tapeworms, which is not so great to have. Sure, you lose weight, but you die of starvation. And it is disgusting. You do have to deal with prions that can cause CJD--the human version of Mad Cow Disease. Nothing like having your brain getting destroyed cell by cell. I almost forgot E-coli, the well-known bacteria that caused death at the Jack in the Box hamburger outlets. And all because you wanted a rare steak. Pork will get you worms as well if you are not careful. Lamb, did I mention suffer from a disease similar to Mad Cow? Chicken, well, salmonella and campylobacter.
OK, let's assume you are a vegetarian. Well, you're no safer than the meat-eating carnivore humans. You all have the same dangers as the rest of the world. Even more so.
E-coli will still get you. Remember the tainted spinach? One of my professors from law school told us a story about salad mixes that made my stomach turn. Apparently, one of his friends went to Mexico, to a farm (supposedly organic), to see if they were following certain sanitary measures. Let's just say that the farm wasn't. They were using the same water that the cows were bathed in to wash and water the lettuce. On top of that, a baby in a diaper full of feces and urine, was sitting on top of the supposedly "clean and organic" lettuce. To make a long story short, he swore never to eat salad again.
And there are other nasty diseases that can strike. All due to unsanitary conditions. Hepatitis. Salmonella. Cross-contamination of bateria that generally affect meat and poultry. Poisonous mushrooms (so be wary of wild mushrooms that didn't come from the supermarket) and aflatoxins (caused by mold). And even the red kidney bean can bring about troubles. Even the canned and frozen foods are not so...edible. Insect parts, dead maggots and larva, aphids, rotten pieces, and other unsavory delights can be found in canned and frozen fruits and vegetables. But in approved amounts.
And I cannot leave without talking about chocolate. This also goes for most processed and prepackaged food as well. If you ever need inspiration to keep away from junk food, this might be helpful. This is from the FDA Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition manual called The Food Defect Action Levels.
WHEAT FLOUR cannot contain 75 or more insect fragments per 50 grams. In addition, it cannot contain an average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 50 grams.
CHOCOLATE cannot contain an average is 60 or more insect fragments per 100 grams when 6 100-gram subsamples are examined OR Any 1 subsample contains 90 or more insect fragments. In addition, it cannot contain an average is 1 or more rodent hairs per 100 grams in 6 100-gram subsamples examined ORAny 1 subsample contains 3 or more rodent hairs. And where does this come from? Insect fragments - post harvest and/or processing insect infestation. Rodent hair - post harvest and/or processing contamination with animal hair or excreta. Yup, unsanitary harvest conditions and unsanitary processing condtions. Never mind that these products are nutritionally unsound due to the chemicals, the excess amount of fat, the salt and sugar, the lack of vitamins. But you also get rodent hair, feces, AND insect parts as well. And to think people eat this every day!
In closing, let me reiterate several things. I'm not against Valentine's Day. I'm not exhorting people to be paranoid about what they eat. Instead, I'm telling people to be more aware of what they eat and what might be inside that can or box. If you realize what might be in there--insect parts, larva, maggots, rodent hair and feces, etc.--you might reconsider buying that. Or you might reconsider how you prepare and clean it. Or you might reconsider where you eat. Even the best places can be unsanitary.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
That's all for now.
Several disclaimers. I am not bashing Valentine's Day. I am not that paranoid about food, though I can get nervous about food safety. Eat, knowing that the United States has food safety laws and you can be sure what is in the box or bag is what is on the label for the most part, like 99.9999%. But then again, sometimes, things fall through the cracks.
Considering I have bought rice and discovered moths and God knows what else in the bag, it might be a good thing. It's my way of telling you about food safety and what might be inside your food. It's a good thing to know what is considered "sanitary" by the United States government. In addition, it might make you think twice about what you are eating. Especially if you diet contains a large amount of processed food. If you are weak of stomach...then this post is not for you. Same if you want to eat something later. Do not read this post with a full stomach...unless there is a convenietly placed bathroom nearby.
Your night of passion may begin with a seafood appetizer. Some raw oysters, some shrimp, some clams. As you may know, seafood is reminiscent of sexual organs. And Venus herself, according to myth, came from a scallop shell. Hence the connection. However, the raw oysters...they're not all that safe. You might get ill and the symptoms are not nice. And the fish might contain mercury (a real downer since mercury causes mental illness) or worms or poisoning. Tabasco sauce will not kill the bacteria. And the peppers used in the sauce could have been moldy, insect infested, or covered in rodent excreta. But not that much...only 3% insect infested. And less than a milligram of rodent excreta per pound. Let's just say that raw or undercooked seafood should be off the menu, no matter where you get it. Expensive restaurants included.
Anyways, let's get to the main course. What do you want? Fish? Probably not. How about some beef? Like the fish, it might have beef tapeworms, which is not so great to have. Sure, you lose weight, but you die of starvation. And it is disgusting. You do have to deal with prions that can cause CJD--the human version of Mad Cow Disease. Nothing like having your brain getting destroyed cell by cell. I almost forgot E-coli, the well-known bacteria that caused death at the Jack in the Box hamburger outlets. And all because you wanted a rare steak. Pork will get you worms as well if you are not careful. Lamb, did I mention suffer from a disease similar to Mad Cow? Chicken, well, salmonella and campylobacter.
OK, let's assume you are a vegetarian. Well, you're no safer than the meat-eating carnivore humans. You all have the same dangers as the rest of the world. Even more so.
E-coli will still get you. Remember the tainted spinach? One of my professors from law school told us a story about salad mixes that made my stomach turn. Apparently, one of his friends went to Mexico, to a farm (supposedly organic), to see if they were following certain sanitary measures. Let's just say that the farm wasn't. They were using the same water that the cows were bathed in to wash and water the lettuce. On top of that, a baby in a diaper full of feces and urine, was sitting on top of the supposedly "clean and organic" lettuce. To make a long story short, he swore never to eat salad again.
And there are other nasty diseases that can strike. All due to unsanitary conditions. Hepatitis. Salmonella. Cross-contamination of bateria that generally affect meat and poultry. Poisonous mushrooms (so be wary of wild mushrooms that didn't come from the supermarket) and aflatoxins (caused by mold). And even the red kidney bean can bring about troubles. Even the canned and frozen foods are not so...edible. Insect parts, dead maggots and larva, aphids, rotten pieces, and other unsavory delights can be found in canned and frozen fruits and vegetables. But in approved amounts.
And I cannot leave without talking about chocolate. This also goes for most processed and prepackaged food as well. If you ever need inspiration to keep away from junk food, this might be helpful. This is from the FDA Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition manual called The Food Defect Action Levels.
WHEAT FLOUR cannot contain 75 or more insect fragments per 50 grams. In addition, it cannot contain an average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 50 grams.
CHOCOLATE cannot contain an average is 60 or more insect fragments per 100 grams when 6 100-gram subsamples are examined OR Any 1 subsample contains 90 or more insect fragments. In addition, it cannot contain an average is 1 or more rodent hairs per 100 grams in 6 100-gram subsamples examined ORAny 1 subsample contains 3 or more rodent hairs. And where does this come from? Insect fragments - post harvest and/or processing insect infestation. Rodent hair - post harvest and/or processing contamination with animal hair or excreta. Yup, unsanitary harvest conditions and unsanitary processing condtions. Never mind that these products are nutritionally unsound due to the chemicals, the excess amount of fat, the salt and sugar, the lack of vitamins. But you also get rodent hair, feces, AND insect parts as well. And to think people eat this every day!
In closing, let me reiterate several things. I'm not against Valentine's Day. I'm not exhorting people to be paranoid about what they eat. Instead, I'm telling people to be more aware of what they eat and what might be inside that can or box. If you realize what might be in there--insect parts, larva, maggots, rodent hair and feces, etc.--you might reconsider buying that. Or you might reconsider how you prepare and clean it. Or you might reconsider where you eat. Even the best places can be unsanitary.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
That's all for now.
Monday, February 04, 2008
The Super Bowl
Greetings and welcome to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things realted to Un. This site is all about me and the random things that I find interesting. If you don't find this to be your cup of tea, try another site. Unless of course, it's China and you might be somewhat limited in your choices and your content. Anyways, it's time for an update to this site.
I saw the Super Bowl yesterday. The first three quarters, it was meh. No real scoring. Lots of failed opportunities. The Patriot offensive line was offensively bad, allowing Brady to get sacked more than a Sprint layoff. He ate a whole lot of turf. And they could not convert when the had the opportunity because the Giants defense was getting physical with him. Kind of like a pitbull that won't let go. Or Bill Clinton at a beauty pageant. Or a heat seeking missile locked on a target.
The Giants had more offensive rhythm, but they fell way short. The stupid penalties like the pass interference and the dumb 12 men on the field one. Kind of like a guy who's wanting to score with a supermodel, but goes limp at the last second. At least their defense played like champions.
The halftime show was OK. As much as I like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, the halftime show was lacking. Like Tom Petty actually singing. If he was singing, I must give him props for sounding like the MTV music video. If he was lip-synching, which I suspect he was doing, he did an excellent job in moving his lips to the music. The guitar playing was severely lacking. You could tell he wasn't playing at all.
The fourth quarter. That was the craziest fourth quarter ever. OK, so it wasn't the freaky offensive battle that everyone was expecting, but it was much better than the first three. It made a fine effort in redeeming the ugliness that was the first three quarters.
Eli Manning making a brilliant TD pass that almost was intercepted. Tom Brady leading the charge to the end zone with less than three minutes left. It looked like another New England victory. Then Eli Manning, the QB that everyone thought would wilt under pressure made plays. And got lucky. The long reception. The escape from a certain sack by three Patriots defensive players, the spin move, and the throw. The impossible catch made by a rookie. If you saw the game, you would know what I'm talking about. The final TD pass with less than a minute left due to blown coverage. New England had the chance to win, to seal the deal, but they just could not do it.
Was it me or did the commercials this year seem mediocre overall? The game was great in the last quarter, but surely, one would think that the commercials would fare better. "I...I...I...am...the....NFL...NFL....I AM the NFL." Those commercials stink. Stop with this crap. It is beyond old. Although, it was funny to see some of the football players try to pronounce "resiliency," let alone any words that had more than two or three syllables in them. The Doritos commercial with the girl singing an awful folk song, I wanted to beat the TV. She sucked at singing. It was dreadful. Positively dreadful. Tone deaf at best, tone deaf at worst. She would have made for a great "Best of the Worst" American Idol spot. The Planters commercial with the unibrow girl...I could have done without. It's stomach churning to see a food product rubbed against a thoroughly repulsive looking person's body. Thank God the woman wasn't any more hideous looking than she already was. I was freaked out by the Amp drink ad. I don't want to see a fat guy with alligator clips on his nipples. That does not make me think, "I'm thirsty. Let's get an Amp drink for energy." The SalesGenie commercials...man...those hit a new low for cheap racial stereotypes. Career Builder sucked. I don't want to see a woman's heart pop out their chest or anything similar to that. After these commercials, one must wonder if anyone can make mental bleach to remove the repulsiveness from one's eyes.
The good commercials were OK at best. Fed Ex had the giant pigeon ad which was funny. Bud Light does some good commercials, though they were kind of lacking this year. I liked the caveman one, but only barely. The fire breathing and flying commercials, not so much. And the "Rocky" horse one, they're done so many times before, it's kind of cliche. I've always watned to see Justin Timberlake take a few shots to the groin, but that got tiring and confusing after a while. Pepsi needs to get better advertising people. Their commercials made little sense until the end. Coke was much better. Bridgestone tires allowed a driver to avoid a screaming, panic-stricken squirrel--and later a screaming, panic-stricken Richard Simmons That was funny. Though I kind of wish Richard Simmons got hit. If JT can take it to the nads, RS can get hit by a car.
That's all for now.
I saw the Super Bowl yesterday. The first three quarters, it was meh. No real scoring. Lots of failed opportunities. The Patriot offensive line was offensively bad, allowing Brady to get sacked more than a Sprint layoff. He ate a whole lot of turf. And they could not convert when the had the opportunity because the Giants defense was getting physical with him. Kind of like a pitbull that won't let go. Or Bill Clinton at a beauty pageant. Or a heat seeking missile locked on a target.
The Giants had more offensive rhythm, but they fell way short. The stupid penalties like the pass interference and the dumb 12 men on the field one. Kind of like a guy who's wanting to score with a supermodel, but goes limp at the last second. At least their defense played like champions.
The halftime show was OK. As much as I like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, the halftime show was lacking. Like Tom Petty actually singing. If he was singing, I must give him props for sounding like the MTV music video. If he was lip-synching, which I suspect he was doing, he did an excellent job in moving his lips to the music. The guitar playing was severely lacking. You could tell he wasn't playing at all.
The fourth quarter. That was the craziest fourth quarter ever. OK, so it wasn't the freaky offensive battle that everyone was expecting, but it was much better than the first three. It made a fine effort in redeeming the ugliness that was the first three quarters.
Eli Manning making a brilliant TD pass that almost was intercepted. Tom Brady leading the charge to the end zone with less than three minutes left. It looked like another New England victory. Then Eli Manning, the QB that everyone thought would wilt under pressure made plays. And got lucky. The long reception. The escape from a certain sack by three Patriots defensive players, the spin move, and the throw. The impossible catch made by a rookie. If you saw the game, you would know what I'm talking about. The final TD pass with less than a minute left due to blown coverage. New England had the chance to win, to seal the deal, but they just could not do it.
Was it me or did the commercials this year seem mediocre overall? The game was great in the last quarter, but surely, one would think that the commercials would fare better. "I...I...I...am...the....NFL...NFL....I AM the NFL." Those commercials stink. Stop with this crap. It is beyond old. Although, it was funny to see some of the football players try to pronounce "resiliency," let alone any words that had more than two or three syllables in them. The Doritos commercial with the girl singing an awful folk song, I wanted to beat the TV. She sucked at singing. It was dreadful. Positively dreadful. Tone deaf at best, tone deaf at worst. She would have made for a great "Best of the Worst" American Idol spot. The Planters commercial with the unibrow girl...I could have done without. It's stomach churning to see a food product rubbed against a thoroughly repulsive looking person's body. Thank God the woman wasn't any more hideous looking than she already was. I was freaked out by the Amp drink ad. I don't want to see a fat guy with alligator clips on his nipples. That does not make me think, "I'm thirsty. Let's get an Amp drink for energy." The SalesGenie commercials...man...those hit a new low for cheap racial stereotypes. Career Builder sucked. I don't want to see a woman's heart pop out their chest or anything similar to that. After these commercials, one must wonder if anyone can make mental bleach to remove the repulsiveness from one's eyes.
The good commercials were OK at best. Fed Ex had the giant pigeon ad which was funny. Bud Light does some good commercials, though they were kind of lacking this year. I liked the caveman one, but only barely. The fire breathing and flying commercials, not so much. And the "Rocky" horse one, they're done so many times before, it's kind of cliche. I've always watned to see Justin Timberlake take a few shots to the groin, but that got tiring and confusing after a while. Pepsi needs to get better advertising people. Their commercials made little sense until the end. Coke was much better. Bridgestone tires allowed a driver to avoid a screaming, panic-stricken squirrel--and later a screaming, panic-stricken Richard Simmons That was funny. Though I kind of wish Richard Simmons got hit. If JT can take it to the nads, RS can get hit by a car.
That's all for now.
Friday, January 04, 2008
College Football
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Which basically means this blog is all about the things that I find interesting. If you don't find this to be your cup of tea, then find another site. I hear that there are millions of other blogs and websites out there.
I like college football. I think I've spent too much time watching football games on Saturdays from the month of September to January. This year, for some reason, has proven to be one of the most wacky and watchable seasons ever. More interesting than pro football.
Consider the number of upsets when it came to top 5 teams. Who would have thought Michigan, one of the most storied teams in football, would lose to some Appalachian State? Who would have thought there would be constant shifting of the #1 and #2 teams? Who would have predicted the wackiness that was the BCS?
Then again, who would have predicted this? Kansas winning the Orange Bowl. Beating Virginia Tech. With their defense and special teams? Going 12-1?
Absolutely nobody. Well, nearly nobody. I was one of the many doubters, considering the years of lackluster performance and the mediocrity that was Kansas Football. Sure, there were good years, but there were many lean ones where a .500 season would be considered a good year and a bowl game was extraordinary.
Now things will have to change. A good year will be much different. The bar has been raised to a new height.
Say what you will about KU's season. How they didn't play against good teams and settled for weak opponents. Say what you will about Coach Mangino. Say what you will about KU and how they don't have a good team. Say what you will about how Mizzou deserved the BCS bid. Say anything at all. But no matter what, the team that nobody expected to do well just won the Orange Bowl. They beat Virginia Tech.
They outdid Virginia Tech in their own game. KU sacked them 5 times (4 in the first quarter). KU had three interceptions, one returned for a TD. A blocked field goal. A missed field goal returned back for excellent field position. A trick punt. Everything that "Beamerball" is all about. But done by KU. The look on Coach Beamer's face showed how shocked and dismayed he was. Let's just say that Beamer's team got reamed.
Let's just face it. Virginia Tech made a bunch of mistakes and KU capitalized on them. All the naysayers are coming up with excuses. Well VT should have won. They could have won. They went through a tough time with the school shooting which happened in April 2007. Their best running back was suspended for a quarter. Fine. That's too bad.
But consider how they had momentum. They were on a winning streak. They won the ACC and came back from a 10 point deficit and won. They had a chance to tie, even win during the game. Many times in fact. But they didn't. Because they made mistakes. The sacks. The INTs. The bad coverage. They didn't bring their A game. They lost. Plain and simple.
Rock Chalk Jayhawk.
That's all for now.
I like college football. I think I've spent too much time watching football games on Saturdays from the month of September to January. This year, for some reason, has proven to be one of the most wacky and watchable seasons ever. More interesting than pro football.
Consider the number of upsets when it came to top 5 teams. Who would have thought Michigan, one of the most storied teams in football, would lose to some Appalachian State? Who would have thought there would be constant shifting of the #1 and #2 teams? Who would have predicted the wackiness that was the BCS?
Then again, who would have predicted this? Kansas winning the Orange Bowl. Beating Virginia Tech. With their defense and special teams? Going 12-1?
Absolutely nobody. Well, nearly nobody. I was one of the many doubters, considering the years of lackluster performance and the mediocrity that was Kansas Football. Sure, there were good years, but there were many lean ones where a .500 season would be considered a good year and a bowl game was extraordinary.
Now things will have to change. A good year will be much different. The bar has been raised to a new height.
Say what you will about KU's season. How they didn't play against good teams and settled for weak opponents. Say what you will about Coach Mangino. Say what you will about KU and how they don't have a good team. Say what you will about how Mizzou deserved the BCS bid. Say anything at all. But no matter what, the team that nobody expected to do well just won the Orange Bowl. They beat Virginia Tech.
They outdid Virginia Tech in their own game. KU sacked them 5 times (4 in the first quarter). KU had three interceptions, one returned for a TD. A blocked field goal. A missed field goal returned back for excellent field position. A trick punt. Everything that "Beamerball" is all about. But done by KU. The look on Coach Beamer's face showed how shocked and dismayed he was. Let's just say that Beamer's team got reamed.
Let's just face it. Virginia Tech made a bunch of mistakes and KU capitalized on them. All the naysayers are coming up with excuses. Well VT should have won. They could have won. They went through a tough time with the school shooting which happened in April 2007. Their best running back was suspended for a quarter. Fine. That's too bad.
But consider how they had momentum. They were on a winning streak. They won the ACC and came back from a 10 point deficit and won. They had a chance to tie, even win during the game. Many times in fact. But they didn't. Because they made mistakes. The sacks. The INTs. The bad coverage. They didn't bring their A game. They lost. Plain and simple.
Rock Chalk Jayhawk.
That's all for now.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Football
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for another semi-regular update to this site. Something I haven't done in a while.
Let me begin with the following: KU football is 10-0 this season. Yes, I said KU football. Normally, the only team at KU that is 10-0 at any given time of the year is the men's basketball team. And they look like the men's basketball team may not get to be 10-0 this year, considering that Brandon Rush is out with an ACL injury until late November, early December and the team's defense is kind of lacking at this moment. The defense is good, but not at the level that it has been in years past. The scoring, however, is still there. I might be considered a pessimist, but that's how I see it.
Who would have thought this would have happened? Not too many people. Hell, nobody, I think thought this unlikely occurence would have happened. I for one, a person who watches college football when its on, did not think so. I was wrong. Like nearly everyone in the United States, including the sports pundits.
And yet, they are 10-0. The KU Jayhawks (AKA "The Fighting Manginos" according to ESPN) are 10-0 this year, with the possibility of going 11-0 and possibly 12-0. A perfect regular season. With the Big XII Title game and a definite bowl game in the works. It's the most absurd sounding thing ever. And for the following reasons.
The Coach didn't look much like a coach. The quarterback (Reesing) looks more suited wearing a suit and tie instead of a football jersey and he's also too short and skinny for a QB (but Flutie was short and he's a legend). Their top WR was also considered short and undersized. So were a lot of their defense, maligned by other schools for being short, undersized, not the right stuff for college football. And yet, despite being a ragtag group of misfits that was mediocre at best (.500 football), they somehow managed to gel together into a surprisingly good football team. One that might, if things go their way by going undefeated and the chips fall their way, a national title contender. One that, until now, wasn't given much respect or much notice.
Whatever Mangino did during the off-season, whatever the team did this year, whatever happened on and off the field, somebody should bottle it. Somebody should write it down. Whatever the hell happened, it's working. The football team is beating teams, marching down the field and scoring, and staying calm under pressure. They're a machine. They're sawing the wood and winning. The KU Jayhawks are quite possibly, the real thing.
Mark Mangino is National Coach of the Year material. He's like Bill Snyder, the guy who turned K-State from the Mildcats to the Wildcats. How else do you explain the turnaround? How else do you explain this season?
Then again, considering college football this year, anything is possible. The #2 team was rotated in a weekly basis. Southern Florida was in the Top 10. A Division IAA team beat Michigan at Michigan. USC lost. So did Ohio State at home last week. Boston College was near the top for a while. This season has proven to be freaky, even for college football. Maybe the Jayhawk's success this year is part of this.
At least I was right about the Chiefs. They're becoming like the KC Royals of Pro Football. They're a joke of a team in the joke of a division called the AFC West. They're worse than mediocre.
They have no offense at all. They have a better defense, but it can't win the games for them every time.
No run attack now that Larry Johnson is out and Priest Holmes is back from a two year hiatus. The passing is awful, even with Huard (an old-timer QB with experience) at the helm. Long gone are the days of Shields and Roalfe at the offensive line. KC now has an offensively bad offensive line. A QB that lives up to the name: you want a refund from him for the lousy throwing and scrambling skills. A running back corp that runs backward and not forward. And don't get me started on the field goal kicker problems that plague the Chiefs. At least the punter can get the ball down the field, which is the problem. It means the offense just went three and out...again. Or it stalled...again. And yet, they're still near the top in the AFC West. Which should be called the AFC Worst as it's pitifully bad.
Rename Arrowhead to something else. Something that fits the quality of play of the Chiefs. Toilet Bowl. Yes, it's a worn cliche, but it fits.
That's all for now.
Let me begin with the following: KU football is 10-0 this season. Yes, I said KU football. Normally, the only team at KU that is 10-0 at any given time of the year is the men's basketball team. And they look like the men's basketball team may not get to be 10-0 this year, considering that Brandon Rush is out with an ACL injury until late November, early December and the team's defense is kind of lacking at this moment. The defense is good, but not at the level that it has been in years past. The scoring, however, is still there. I might be considered a pessimist, but that's how I see it.
Who would have thought this would have happened? Not too many people. Hell, nobody, I think thought this unlikely occurence would have happened. I for one, a person who watches college football when its on, did not think so. I was wrong. Like nearly everyone in the United States, including the sports pundits.
And yet, they are 10-0. The KU Jayhawks (AKA "The Fighting Manginos" according to ESPN) are 10-0 this year, with the possibility of going 11-0 and possibly 12-0. A perfect regular season. With the Big XII Title game and a definite bowl game in the works. It's the most absurd sounding thing ever. And for the following reasons.
The Coach didn't look much like a coach. The quarterback (Reesing) looks more suited wearing a suit and tie instead of a football jersey and he's also too short and skinny for a QB (but Flutie was short and he's a legend). Their top WR was also considered short and undersized. So were a lot of their defense, maligned by other schools for being short, undersized, not the right stuff for college football. And yet, despite being a ragtag group of misfits that was mediocre at best (.500 football), they somehow managed to gel together into a surprisingly good football team. One that might, if things go their way by going undefeated and the chips fall their way, a national title contender. One that, until now, wasn't given much respect or much notice.
Whatever Mangino did during the off-season, whatever the team did this year, whatever happened on and off the field, somebody should bottle it. Somebody should write it down. Whatever the hell happened, it's working. The football team is beating teams, marching down the field and scoring, and staying calm under pressure. They're a machine. They're sawing the wood and winning. The KU Jayhawks are quite possibly, the real thing.
Mark Mangino is National Coach of the Year material. He's like Bill Snyder, the guy who turned K-State from the Mildcats to the Wildcats. How else do you explain the turnaround? How else do you explain this season?
Then again, considering college football this year, anything is possible. The #2 team was rotated in a weekly basis. Southern Florida was in the Top 10. A Division IAA team beat Michigan at Michigan. USC lost. So did Ohio State at home last week. Boston College was near the top for a while. This season has proven to be freaky, even for college football. Maybe the Jayhawk's success this year is part of this.
At least I was right about the Chiefs. They're becoming like the KC Royals of Pro Football. They're a joke of a team in the joke of a division called the AFC West. They're worse than mediocre.
They have no offense at all. They have a better defense, but it can't win the games for them every time.
No run attack now that Larry Johnson is out and Priest Holmes is back from a two year hiatus. The passing is awful, even with Huard (an old-timer QB with experience) at the helm. Long gone are the days of Shields and Roalfe at the offensive line. KC now has an offensively bad offensive line. A QB that lives up to the name: you want a refund from him for the lousy throwing and scrambling skills. A running back corp that runs backward and not forward. And don't get me started on the field goal kicker problems that plague the Chiefs. At least the punter can get the ball down the field, which is the problem. It means the offense just went three and out...again. Or it stalled...again. And yet, they're still near the top in the AFC West. Which should be called the AFC Worst as it's pitifully bad.
Rename Arrowhead to something else. Something that fits the quality of play of the Chiefs. Toilet Bowl. Yes, it's a worn cliche, but it fits.
That's all for now.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
No, No, No, It's Not Christmas
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update to this site, something I haven't done in a long time. OK, nearly a month.
Yesterday was Halloween. There's nothing like a holiday that was based off of pagan festivals yet neatly used by the early Christian Church to get the pagans to convert. You see, by making November 1 and November 2 All Souls Day and All Saints Day (maybe not in that order but the names are correct), the Church neatly solved two problems. One, to get the pagans to convert and stay relatively good Christians. Two, solve the pesky Halloween problem. It's all good to do your quasi-pagan stuff on October 31, as long as you go to church the next two days. Nice and simple. Pretty clean.
Then again, the early church did not expect what is now becoming a politically corrrect nanny state. The "Halloween is Evil, You're Burning in Hell" rhetoric of the ultra-conservative religous folks. The "It's not Halloween, but Fall Festival" (I thought that was Thanksgiving, but astronomically, that's generally celebrated at the Havest Moon) and "You can't wear costumes that may be offensive to anyone" or any related crap. They're children. Let them have some candy. Let them wear costumes as long as they're not something like "suicide bomber" or "Slutty" or something truly tasteless. But I digress with this.
When you think of Halloween, you think of Jack-O-Lanterns, spooky stuff like ghosts and goblins, witches, costumes, haunted houses, etc. Scary stuff that makes you shiver. You don't expect Christmas music.
Apparently, Star 102 thinks you want it. After all, according to the "wizards of marketing," you have to be quick when it comes to piping out Christmas music before it's really Christmas. In all honesty, anyone who wants to listen to Christmas music non-stop in October is a sick person with a serious mental disorder. Anyone who thinks that people want to willingly listen to Christmas music all the time from October to God knows when, is a seriously sick person. Or they are the biggest idiot in the Universe. Or they have no grip on reality. Or they deserve to be impaled on a giant candy cane while people hit them with reindeer droppings. Or all of the above. To quote from the article:
And some other stuff. I'm sick and tired of the retailers putting out the fucking Christmas stuff in October when it's closer to Halloween than it is to Christmas or Thanksgiving.
Of course, Christmas didn't exist until the 4th Century AD. There were winter festivals occuring in pagan times, celebrating the end of the year and how the sun was going to come back again and shine on them. Saturnalia, festivals to Odin, etc.early Europeans celebrated light and birth in the darkest days of winter. Many peoples rejoiced during the winter solstice, when the worst of the winter was behind them and they could look forward to longer days and extended hours of sunlight. It was the perfect time to celebrate indoors since it was cold outside and who knew, maybe the Gods were watching. This later expanded when the Christian Church came around.
They already had Easter, so why not a holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ? They chose December 25, despite some obvious logical problems. Like nobody knew when he was really born. Or in the winter, the Holy Land is suffering from the wet season and it would have been hard to have a clear night with stars shining brightly. And of course, during the winter, why would the shepherds be out in the cold? This didn't stop them. And so came Christmas, incorporating a new religion with older pagan customs.
The last time I checked, Chirstmas is a religous holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. It should be a time where we give thanks for the life that we are given. It is a time to be thankful, not only for the birth of Chirst, but for other things like friends and family, for good times, for health and happiness.
Christmas, however, not an orgy of gift-giving. It is not a time to see how much we can spend. It is not a time to bust the credit card spending limit. It is not any of the commercialistic crap society has dumped on it. Christmas, it seems, has changed. At least one this has not changed. We're celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, The Almighty Dollar.
Green is for the almighty himself, and red for the blood we will spill to acquire him!
We should stop calling it Christmas Season and change it to Consumer Season...that's really what it's about anymore. It wasn't that long ago that the first 4 weeks of December was considered Advent and Christmas didn't start until the 24th.
I like Christmas, not for what it is now, but for what it was. Sometimes, I think that we'd be a better society if we just got rid of the stupid holiday once and for all. Every bit of meaning anyone ever got out of it has been sucked out by commercial interests and plain stupidity and is lost forever.
And here's a Chirstmas song to you, Star 102. I hope you like it:
It’s not December
It’s barely even November
Outside it’s still too warm for snow to fall
Halloween was yesterday
And winter’s still a ways away
But try to tell that to the folks down at the mall
Inside’s a winter wonderland
I’m sorry, I don’t understand
‘cause mistletoe on Veteran’s Day seems wrong
But the shops are filled with Christmas cheer
And on the speakers, all you hear
Is the way-too-early Christmas song
Leaves just started changing
But the stores are rearranging
Their décor to wintry Christmas themes
See the red and green displays:
“Just 58 more shopping days”
And cardboard elves are planting plastic trees
Jesus in his manger cradle
Plus a little token dreidel
In a big display next to the Cinnabon
With three wise men and gifts they bring
Just plug them in, and they all sing
The way-too-early Christmas song
I know you need to satisfy your investors
But couldn’t you wait at least until the Savior’s third trimester?
Finally, just outside the Master-Cuts
Was Santa, and that fat bastard’s
“Ho ho ho”-ing drove me up the wall
Something snapped, I lost control
And kicked him square in his North Pole
And as he dropped, I decked him in his halls
So, my friends, I wish you well
From the mall security holding cell
I hope that they don’t keep me here too long
May you and yours find peace and love
Unless you are the writer of
The way-too-early Christmas song
Merry Christmas. That's all for now.
Yesterday was Halloween. There's nothing like a holiday that was based off of pagan festivals yet neatly used by the early Christian Church to get the pagans to convert. You see, by making November 1 and November 2 All Souls Day and All Saints Day (maybe not in that order but the names are correct), the Church neatly solved two problems. One, to get the pagans to convert and stay relatively good Christians. Two, solve the pesky Halloween problem. It's all good to do your quasi-pagan stuff on October 31, as long as you go to church the next two days. Nice and simple. Pretty clean.
Then again, the early church did not expect what is now becoming a politically corrrect nanny state. The "Halloween is Evil, You're Burning in Hell" rhetoric of the ultra-conservative religous folks. The "It's not Halloween, but Fall Festival" (I thought that was Thanksgiving, but astronomically, that's generally celebrated at the Havest Moon) and "You can't wear costumes that may be offensive to anyone" or any related crap. They're children. Let them have some candy. Let them wear costumes as long as they're not something like "suicide bomber" or "Slutty
When you think of Halloween, you think of Jack-O-Lanterns, spooky stuff like ghosts and goblins, witches, costumes, haunted houses, etc. Scary stuff that makes you shiver. You don't expect Christmas music.
Apparently, Star 102 thinks you want it. After all, according to the "wizards of marketing," you have to be quick when it comes to piping out Christmas music before it's really Christmas. In all honesty, anyone who wants to listen to Christmas music non-stop in October is a sick person with a serious mental disorder. Anyone who thinks that people want to willingly listen to Christmas music all the time from October to God knows when, is a seriously sick person. Or they are the biggest idiot in the Universe. Or they have no grip on reality. Or they deserve to be impaled on a giant candy cane while people hit them with reindeer droppings. Or all of the above. To quote from the article:
“It’s pretty simple. In a market where there are two radio stations doing Christmas music, the one who goes first is usually the winner. That’s been proven all over the country,” says former Entercom and CBS honcho Bob Zuroweste, a veteran Christmas music warrior. “I’m talking about weeks ahead, not moments, hours or days ahead. If somebody decides to sit back and wait a few weeks, they’re going to lose.”Which is why people in Kansas City and the surrounding area are getting "Jingle Bells" piped through the radio on Halloween of all days. Which is pretty fucking ridiculous in my opinion and according to an unscientific online poll done by the KC Star, at last count, over 80% of the people think it's way too early to pipe out the holiday music. Apparently, the marketing people at Star 102 and their rival don't get this fact. People don't want to hear Chirstmas music this fucking early. This might explain why few people listen to Star 102 and their rival anymore. They're the annoying "Christmas Music" stations that don't have a fucking clue about when to play Christmas music. All because they want an extra dollar when it comes to ratings and other materialistic stuff.
Ditto, says former Star 102 point man Jon Zellner, now with XM radio in Washington.
“I’ve always maintained the first one in wins,” Zellner says. “Obviously marketing helps, but what usually happens is these are marketed by word of mouth.”
“In reality the Christmas music doesn’t take hold with listeners until the week before or week of Thanksgiving,” Zuroweste adds. “But what happens is by going first you just have a greater connection in the minds of consumers that you are the Christmas station. And when retailers turn their dial to a Christmas music station, they tend just to
leave it there, so you want to get those dials set early. It really is a
marketing game. It’s like you want to own the perception that you are the Christmas music station.”
And some other stuff. I'm sick and tired of the retailers putting out the fucking Christmas stuff in October when it's closer to Halloween than it is to Christmas or Thanksgiving.
Of course, Christmas didn't exist until the 4th Century AD. There were winter festivals occuring in pagan times, celebrating the end of the year and how the sun was going to come back again and shine on them. Saturnalia, festivals to Odin, etc.early Europeans celebrated light and birth in the darkest days of winter. Many peoples rejoiced during the winter solstice, when the worst of the winter was behind them and they could look forward to longer days and extended hours of sunlight. It was the perfect time to celebrate indoors since it was cold outside and who knew, maybe the Gods were watching. This later expanded when the Christian Church came around.
They already had Easter, so why not a holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ? They chose December 25, despite some obvious logical problems. Like nobody knew when he was really born. Or in the winter, the Holy Land is suffering from the wet season and it would have been hard to have a clear night with stars shining brightly. And of course, during the winter, why would the shepherds be out in the cold? This didn't stop them. And so came Christmas, incorporating a new religion with older pagan customs.
The last time I checked, Chirstmas is a religous holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. It should be a time where we give thanks for the life that we are given. It is a time to be thankful, not only for the birth of Chirst, but for other things like friends and family, for good times, for health and happiness.
Christmas, however, not an orgy of gift-giving. It is not a time to see how much we can spend. It is not a time to bust the credit card spending limit. It is not any of the commercialistic crap society has dumped on it. Christmas, it seems, has changed. At least one this has not changed. We're celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, The Almighty Dollar.
Green is for the almighty himself, and red for the blood we will spill to acquire him!
We should stop calling it Christmas Season and change it to Consumer Season...that's really what it's about anymore. It wasn't that long ago that the first 4 weeks of December was considered Advent and Christmas didn't start until the 24th.
I like Christmas, not for what it is now, but for what it was. Sometimes, I think that we'd be a better society if we just got rid of the stupid holiday once and for all. Every bit of meaning anyone ever got out of it has been sucked out by commercial interests and plain stupidity and is lost forever.
And here's a Chirstmas song to you, Star 102. I hope you like it:
It’s not December
It’s barely even November
Outside it’s still too warm for snow to fall
Halloween was yesterday
And winter’s still a ways away
But try to tell that to the folks down at the mall
Inside’s a winter wonderland
I’m sorry, I don’t understand
‘cause mistletoe on Veteran’s Day seems wrong
But the shops are filled with Christmas cheer
And on the speakers, all you hear
Is the way-too-early Christmas song
Leaves just started changing
But the stores are rearranging
Their décor to wintry Christmas themes
See the red and green displays:
“Just 58 more shopping days”
And cardboard elves are planting plastic trees
Jesus in his manger cradle
Plus a little token dreidel
In a big display next to the Cinnabon
With three wise men and gifts they bring
Just plug them in, and they all sing
The way-too-early Christmas song
I know you need to satisfy your investors
But couldn’t you wait at least until the Savior’s third trimester?
Finally, just outside the Master-Cuts
Was Santa, and that fat bastard’s
“Ho ho ho”-ing drove me up the wall
Something snapped, I lost control
And kicked him square in his North Pole
And as he dropped, I decked him in his halls
So, my friends, I wish you well
From the mall security holding cell
I hope that they don’t keep me here too long
May you and yours find peace and love
Unless you are the writer of
The way-too-early Christmas song
Merry Christmas. That's all for now.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Commercial Break
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Kind of amusing readers and taking up space on the Information Highway since 2005. This site is all about me and the random things that I find interesting.
Television ads. Some of them are amusing and clever like certain Super Bowl ads. A lot of them are pretty annoying and stupid. So dumb, you have to wonder how any thinking person could come up with that ad and what idiot paid money. Then you realize that it was made by a highly successful business and everything becomes much clearer.
I watch too much television. And I need to stop being a nitpick at the immense failure of other people.
Then agian, if I don't notice these seemingly inconsequential things, then I wouldn't have as much fun in life. And I wouldn't have something to post about on this blog. So I guess that it's a good thing in a way. But I still have very little of a social life to talk about so it's just another friendly reminder of this pitiful fact. I fail as well.
All kidding aside, a lot of stupid ads populate television. Or a whole lot of people lack a certain amount of common sense and need special guidance. Either case does not speak highly of the intelligence of humanity. And yet, there's a part of me that says that humanity has become too clever for its own good. That possibility is even more disturbing as it shows how gullible and materialistic we've become.
Take for instance the Serta Vera Wang mattress collection. Supposedly, a Vera Wang designed mattress is luxurious, romantic, and comfortable. I can understand "comfortable" and I can define it in some way. It feels good and you sleep well when you are on it. What certain physical aspects of the mattress that entails "comfortable" depends on the user. "Luxurious" is another vague term, but I suspect that it either means "we stuck a famous name on our regular product so paying money out of your ass because you're gullible" or "over the top in a subjective manner so you're paying money out of your ass." But what the hell is a "romantic" mattress? I've seen the mattress and I can't tell what's so fucking romantic about it. There's no Barry White music coming from it. No dishes are being cleaned. No candlelight. I mean, seriously, it's like every other Serta mattress. It just has "Vera Wang Collection" stickers and labels on it.
This is either a stupid commercial or a clever commercial. Stupid since they are mangling the English language and showing their ignorance of English. Clever since they are manipulating the English language to sucker people in buying their mattress.
And drug commercials are stupid and annoying.
Viagra is pawning "Viva Las Vegas" to sell the little blue pill. That's not stupid, it is blasphemy. Enzyte commercials are annoying as well. I hate the whistling as it is annoying. The damn shit-eating, dopey-ass grin on Bob's face makes me want to punch him repeatedly. And you are not going to have that much success if your penis gets erect when you want it to be erect or bigger for that matter. Who needs to be told that it's unsafe to operate machinery if the drug can cause you to fall asleep at inopportune times, especially when it is a sleeping medication? Duh...sleeping pills are supposed to put you to sleep, not keep you awake.
Fast food commercials annoy me as well. The Wendy's comemrcials suck. I liked Dave Thomas commercials where he would talk about Wendy's and the food there. None of the dumb commercials with creepy people wearing the CGI generated red wigs or driving chickens or God knows what else they've put on TV.
But Sonic takes the cake for inane drivel. The Sonic Guys commercials are stupid. The two guys who sit at the Sonic Drive-In and have the dumbest conversations about "seizing the burrito" or "weak tater tot action" or any other stupid phrase.
I've now ranted enough on commercials I hate.
That's all for now.
Television ads. Some of them are amusing and clever like certain Super Bowl ads. A lot of them are pretty annoying and stupid. So dumb, you have to wonder how any thinking person could come up with that ad and what idiot paid money. Then you realize that it was made by a highly successful business and everything becomes much clearer.
I watch too much television. And I need to stop being a nitpick at the immense failure of other people.
Then agian, if I don't notice these seemingly inconsequential things, then I wouldn't have as much fun in life. And I wouldn't have something to post about on this blog. So I guess that it's a good thing in a way. But I still have very little of a social life to talk about so it's just another friendly reminder of this pitiful fact. I fail as well.
All kidding aside, a lot of stupid ads populate television. Or a whole lot of people lack a certain amount of common sense and need special guidance. Either case does not speak highly of the intelligence of humanity. And yet, there's a part of me that says that humanity has become too clever for its own good. That possibility is even more disturbing as it shows how gullible and materialistic we've become.
Take for instance the Serta Vera Wang mattress collection. Supposedly, a Vera Wang designed mattress is luxurious, romantic, and comfortable. I can understand "comfortable" and I can define it in some way. It feels good and you sleep well when you are on it. What certain physical aspects of the mattress that entails "comfortable" depends on the user. "Luxurious" is another vague term, but I suspect that it either means "we stuck a famous name on our regular product so paying money out of your ass because you're gullible" or "over the top in a subjective manner so you're paying money out of your ass." But what the hell is a "romantic" mattress? I've seen the mattress and I can't tell what's so fucking romantic about it. There's no Barry White music coming from it. No dishes are being cleaned. No candlelight. I mean, seriously, it's like every other Serta mattress. It just has "Vera Wang Collection" stickers and labels on it.
This is either a stupid commercial or a clever commercial. Stupid since they are mangling the English language and showing their ignorance of English. Clever since they are manipulating the English language to sucker people in buying their mattress.
And drug commercials are stupid and annoying.
Viagra is pawning "Viva Las Vegas" to sell the little blue pill. That's not stupid, it is blasphemy. Enzyte commercials are annoying as well. I hate the whistling as it is annoying. The damn shit-eating, dopey-ass grin on Bob's face makes me want to punch him repeatedly. And you are not going to have that much success if your penis gets erect when you want it to be erect or bigger for that matter. Who needs to be told that it's unsafe to operate machinery if the drug can cause you to fall asleep at inopportune times, especially when it is a sleeping medication? Duh...sleeping pills are supposed to put you to sleep, not keep you awake.
Fast food commercials annoy me as well. The Wendy's comemrcials suck. I liked Dave Thomas commercials where he would talk about Wendy's and the food there. None of the dumb commercials with creepy people wearing the CGI generated red wigs or driving chickens or God knows what else they've put on TV.
But Sonic takes the cake for inane drivel. The Sonic Guys commercials are stupid. The two guys who sit at the Sonic Drive-In and have the dumbest conversations about "seizing the burrito" or "weak tater tot action" or any other stupid phrase.
I've now ranted enough on commercials I hate.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
I'm Getting an Edumacation...
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, for those who don't get it, this stuff is all about me and the things that I find interesting. If this is not your cup of tea, try Google and find another site.
I've been through many years of school. At last count, I've spent twenty years in school. Elementary school, middle school, and high school. Four years of college. Three years in law school. That's close to 80% of my life spent in school of some sort.
Thankfully, I've managed to learn something. English grammar, fine literature, more math than I can handle (calculus, linear algebra, number theory), science of all sorts, and many other subjects. And yes, despite all of these years of filling my head with facts that may or may not be useful later in life, I've had education in other more useful subjects. Things like washing clothes, cooking food without burning it, and balancing a checkbook. Without such skills, I would be starving and broke. Possibly homeless due to an unfortunate cooking accident.
I still have many years of life ahead of me. I hope so, or this is going to be quite disappointing. Life is the best teacher there is, though life can be very tough. Life demands you pay a heavy price. Everyone ends up dead.
I find it sad that despite being one of the most "well-educated" countries in the world, the educational system is sorely lacking. To paraphrase what President G.W. Bush said about the educational system, our childrens is not learning. And yes, he was using faulty grammar. And yes, "our childrens is not learning" is meant to be a joke.
Consider the following. WWII was a bloody and costly war, both in money as in the number of lives lost. And yet, when juniors at a San Francisco area high school were asked questions about the war, most were clueless. Absolutely clueless. Mussolini was the leader of the USSR (Dictator of Italy by the way). The war ended with the bombing of Iwo Jima and Hitler's suicide (wrong again). They did, however, identify Hitler as the leader of Germany and a really bad dude.
Or this...Stanford University is one of the premier universities in the United States. It's recognized as a great school around the world. Secretary of State Rice attended there. Many other rich and famous people graduated from the institution. And students can learn all about Facebook by taking a class. It's about "gaining insight into the realm of online interaction" and other practical areas. Whatever the hell that really means.
For all I know, it could be about goofing off online, which Facebook does very well.
Finally, for all of those Star Wars fanatics out there. There's a class being taught at the University of Alabama about Star Wars and its links to religion, philosophy, and other areas of knowledge:
That's all for now.
I've been through many years of school. At last count, I've spent twenty years in school. Elementary school, middle school, and high school. Four years of college. Three years in law school. That's close to 80% of my life spent in school of some sort.
Thankfully, I've managed to learn something. English grammar, fine literature, more math than I can handle (calculus, linear algebra, number theory), science of all sorts, and many other subjects. And yes, despite all of these years of filling my head with facts that may or may not be useful later in life, I've had education in other more useful subjects. Things like washing clothes, cooking food without burning it, and balancing a checkbook. Without such skills, I would be starving and broke. Possibly homeless due to an unfortunate cooking accident.
I still have many years of life ahead of me. I hope so, or this is going to be quite disappointing. Life is the best teacher there is, though life can be very tough. Life demands you pay a heavy price. Everyone ends up dead.
I find it sad that despite being one of the most "well-educated" countries in the world, the educational system is sorely lacking. To paraphrase what President G.W. Bush said about the educational system, our childrens is not learning. And yes, he was using faulty grammar. And yes, "our childrens is not learning" is meant to be a joke.
Consider the following. WWII was a bloody and costly war, both in money as in the number of lives lost. And yet, when juniors at a San Francisco area high school were asked questions about the war, most were clueless. Absolutely clueless. Mussolini was the leader of the USSR (Dictator of Italy by the way). The war ended with the bombing of Iwo Jima and Hitler's suicide (wrong again). They did, however, identify Hitler as the leader of Germany and a really bad dude.
Or this...Stanford University is one of the premier universities in the United States. It's recognized as a great school around the world. Secretary of State Rice attended there. Many other rich and famous people graduated from the institution. And students can learn all about Facebook by taking a class. It's about "gaining insight into the realm of online interaction" and other practical areas. Whatever the hell that really means.
For all I know, it could be about goofing off online, which Facebook does very well.
Finally, for all of those Star Wars fanatics out there. There's a class being taught at the University of Alabama about Star Wars and its links to religion, philosophy, and other areas of knowledge:
Finding the essence of religion, sociology, history and mass communication through the Force may seem a bit odd, but a particular Blount Undergraduate Initiative thematic seminar attempts to prove that the concept works.Taught by David DeWitt, a four-time graduate of the University, BUI 301: The Gospel ofThere is some academic stuff involved. Like reading essays, writing papers, and watching film. Who knows, you might write a paper about Han Solo and the implications of him shooting first in the Cantina scene? That sounds a bit too geeky to me.
Star Wars: Mass Entertainment as Postmodern Religion pulls many courses of study together to present a new wide-ranged look at mass media, religion and society.
That's all for now.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
A Day at the Ren Fest...
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un.. Basically, this blog is all about me and the things that I find interesting. If you haven't gotten this by now, well, you might want to get off the Internet and find something else to do.
You've probably noticed that I haven't been updating the other "blog" that I maintain. I haven't permanently neglected that site or the story. It's just taking a lot more time to write a chapter these days. I'm doing my best to finish the story. Hopefully, I'll get it done before NaNoWriMo 2007 begins. So that's the situation for that. Now on to the purpose of this post. A Day at Ye Olde Ren Fest.
I'm sure that many of you have been to a Renaissance Festival of some sort. Or you have visited a place that has a "medieval" theme to it. Of course, most Renaissance Festivals and Fairs are not the most historically accurate events. Then again, if everything was historically accurate, one would not be having much fun. There would not be any oversized turkey legs to eat, shows to watch, or not much at all. Everyone would be toiling in the fields for a feudal lord or at church. Not that fun at all. Nor is it very entertaining to anyone. Unless of course, you like that kind of stuff.
I visited the KC Ren Fest, located by the Verizon Amphitheater on Saturday. The parking lot is crap. If they spent a little more money on paving the damn parking lot, more people would come to the concerts. I've never seen such big freaking ruts and holes in a parking lot before. Except in pictures of war zones. Maybe some of the worse parts of inner cities. Anyways...
It was pleasant and not too hot, unlike the last time I went there. Lots of shade.
The prices were still the same...which means it's generally overpriced. $2.50 for a 20oz bottle of soda is steep. Then again, it's the Ren Fest. For any special event, it's gonig to cost you money and lots of it.
I spent a lot of time walking around, absorbing the pseudo-Middle Ages athmosphere. I might have gotten a bit too much of it. The smoke that is.
I kind of wonder how anyone can wear those period costumes (very loose usage of the term "period") and not get uncomfortable. Of course, they probably are feeling uncomfortable. The men liked the costumes the women were wearing for obvious reasons that need not be explained if you've seen them.
I had lots of fun insulting street performers. Any time you can use "They'd need a lot more beer to find you attractive" is always fun.
And I also saw men in kilts do traditional Highland Games activities. Things like carrying a 140 pound rock for two minutes. Or toss a damn caber. This makes me wonder who the hell would be crazy enough to do stuff like that and call it fun. That must have made for an interesting conversation.
Of course, these activities served a purpose. Strength, endurance, stamina, martial skills like spear throwing and so forth. But you'd have to be crazy in a way. Or drunk. Or a little bit of both. I'm not sure. I left with the idea that you'd have to be a Scottish person to come up with that.
So that's what I did at the KC Ren Fest on Saturday. It wasn't so bad.
Leaving the parking lot, however, was not good. Especially when a Missouri driver decides to make up imaginary exits and nearly hits your car. Or when they find the idea of using the turn signal to be a step forward in evolution. Or when they actually go when the light is green and stop when it's red.
That's all for now.
You've probably noticed that I haven't been updating the other "blog" that I maintain. I haven't permanently neglected that site or the story. It's just taking a lot more time to write a chapter these days. I'm doing my best to finish the story. Hopefully, I'll get it done before NaNoWriMo 2007 begins. So that's the situation for that. Now on to the purpose of this post. A Day at Ye Olde Ren Fest.
I'm sure that many of you have been to a Renaissance Festival of some sort. Or you have visited a place that has a "medieval" theme to it. Of course, most Renaissance Festivals and Fairs are not the most historically accurate events. Then again, if everything was historically accurate, one would not be having much fun. There would not be any oversized turkey legs to eat, shows to watch, or not much at all. Everyone would be toiling in the fields for a feudal lord or at church. Not that fun at all. Nor is it very entertaining to anyone. Unless of course, you like that kind of stuff.
I visited the KC Ren Fest, located by the Verizon Amphitheater on Saturday. The parking lot is crap. If they spent a little more money on paving the damn parking lot, more people would come to the concerts. I've never seen such big freaking ruts and holes in a parking lot before. Except in pictures of war zones. Maybe some of the worse parts of inner cities. Anyways...
It was pleasant and not too hot, unlike the last time I went there. Lots of shade.
The prices were still the same...which means it's generally overpriced. $2.50 for a 20oz bottle of soda is steep. Then again, it's the Ren Fest. For any special event, it's gonig to cost you money and lots of it.
I spent a lot of time walking around, absorbing the pseudo-Middle Ages athmosphere. I might have gotten a bit too much of it. The smoke that is.
I kind of wonder how anyone can wear those period costumes (very loose usage of the term "period") and not get uncomfortable. Of course, they probably are feeling uncomfortable. The men liked the costumes the women were wearing for obvious reasons that need not be explained if you've seen them.
I had lots of fun insulting street performers. Any time you can use "They'd need a lot more beer to find you attractive" is always fun.
And I also saw men in kilts do traditional Highland Games activities. Things like carrying a 140 pound rock for two minutes. Or toss a damn caber. This makes me wonder who the hell would be crazy enough to do stuff like that and call it fun. That must have made for an interesting conversation.
"MacDonald, what do you say we toss a caber?"
"Brilliant! And we throw it so it looks pretty and elegant MacDuff?"
"Brilliant! What about carrying a stone and seeing how far you can carry it?"
"Brilliant! And what about tossing a weight?"
"Brilliant! Let's get all the clans together in the Highlands and call it the Highland Games?"
"Brilliant! Where's the whiskey?"
Of course, these activities served a purpose. Strength, endurance, stamina, martial skills like spear throwing and so forth. But you'd have to be crazy in a way. Or drunk. Or a little bit of both. I'm not sure. I left with the idea that you'd have to be a Scottish person to come up with that.
So that's what I did at the KC Ren Fest on Saturday. It wasn't so bad.
Leaving the parking lot, however, was not good. Especially when a Missouri driver decides to make up imaginary exits and nearly hits your car. Or when they find the idea of using the turn signal to be a step forward in evolution. Or when they actually go when the light is green and stop when it's red.
That's all for now.
Monday, September 10, 2007
A Football Post
Greetings and welcome to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Yes, this site is all about me, my quasi-life, and the random thoughts floating in my head that I find interesting. It's time for a post. A post all about football.
For all of those optimistic Kansas City Chiefs fans...you're delusional. The preseason in which the Chiefs failed to make TDs, field goals, and points-after was a harbringer of what was going to come. Absolute failure. Last season was a massive fluke. The Chiefs were lucky to make it to the post-season with that lousy of a record. They didn't have what it took to earn a spot in the playoffs. That's reality.
The experts are right. The Chiefs will have a sub-par year. They will continue their record of missing the playoffs. It's because the coaches and the owner are idiots. Let me count the ways...
1. Medlock. Your field goal kicker should be able to make field goals. If they are 30 yards and in, they should be automatic. Easy stuff. Granted, sometimes the conditions are lousy like a torrential rainstorm or snow or ice. I will give in a little and give the kicker the benefit of the doubt.
He couldn't make a field goal during the preseason. If this is the best they could find, then the team is screwed. Maybe it was rookie jitters. OK, we'll see how he does in the regular season. Shanks it. Misses it from what, 30 yards out. Not good.
By the way, Lawrence Tyne is making them. The irony.
2. Special teams. Sepcial teams can win games. Dante Hall was the X-Factor. A kickoff return or a punt return for a touchdown or good field position can be the deciding factor. It's not good if the return guy who is supposed to replace Dante Hall muffs the punt and the other team returns it for a touchdown. I don't care if you think the ref made an error, you are supposed to hold on to the ball with two hands and protect it. Hold it tight. Don't let it leave your hands for a second. Once it's loose, anyone can grab it.
If you are the cover team, you should tackle. You should be able to run and tackle. You do not blow coverage. The Chiefs for some reason, can't do this well. Maybe they should get better players...wait, the Chiefs GM and coaching staff said they did.
3. Offense. Was plain offensive. No running game. The passing game was good, but Huard threw two INTs. Not good.
4. Defense. Not there. Fourth quarter meltdown. Blown coverage. The same ol' situation. The same ol' ball and chain. I thought the Chiefs got good players...
5. Coaching. What the hell? Why do you insist on running when you're down by ten points? The running route--pound the ball--only works if the running game is good AND you're scoring points. It's even better when you are ahead and the defense is rolling along. The Chiefs had none. The Chiefs were down, the running game was lousy, and the defense couldn't do jack. Why run the ball in a conservative manner? It's not like the QB could do any worse than he already was doing! It's not like the Offense was doing anything while on the field except stall, fumble, get intercepted. They ain't scoring anything.
In sum, the Chiefs will have a lousy season. Rebuilding will be tough. Get ready for a whole lot of ugly.
This is a note for the Jayhawk football fans. Get ready for another mediocre season. Despite the recent results of the past two games (2 WINS, outscoring 114-7), this will be another ho-hum season. I don't care if the defense is fast. I don't care if the offense looks good. I don't care for those things. The Jayhawks were playing against Division 1AA teams I've never heard of before. I couldn't tell you where they were located. The Jayhawks were supposed to beat them by a large margin. Yes, there was the Michigan upset by Appalachain State, but the Wolverines are overrated. They actually suck. Hyped up to the extreme. Preseason polls mean shit.
Look, they can come out of the non-conference with a 4-0 record. That's nice. Once the regular conference comes, it will be a different story. Expect them to lose in the ways that are unexpected. Stuff like they pulled last year. Pulling defeat from the jaws of victory.
Look at their schedule. They are playing 4 not-so-great schools in the beginning. Their Big XII schedule doesn't include Texas or Oklahoma. They're rigging their schedule to make it a good-looking year, which would be something like .500, maybe 7 wins. Mangino has a nice pedigree, but he ain't doing a Bill Snyder (his former boss at K-State) or a Bill Stoops (former boss at Oklahoma).
That's all for now.
For all of those optimistic Kansas City Chiefs fans...you're delusional. The preseason in which the Chiefs failed to make TDs, field goals, and points-after was a harbringer of what was going to come. Absolute failure. Last season was a massive fluke. The Chiefs were lucky to make it to the post-season with that lousy of a record. They didn't have what it took to earn a spot in the playoffs. That's reality.
The experts are right. The Chiefs will have a sub-par year. They will continue their record of missing the playoffs. It's because the coaches and the owner are idiots. Let me count the ways...
1. Medlock. Your field goal kicker should be able to make field goals. If they are 30 yards and in, they should be automatic. Easy stuff. Granted, sometimes the conditions are lousy like a torrential rainstorm or snow or ice. I will give in a little and give the kicker the benefit of the doubt.
He couldn't make a field goal during the preseason. If this is the best they could find, then the team is screwed. Maybe it was rookie jitters. OK, we'll see how he does in the regular season. Shanks it. Misses it from what, 30 yards out. Not good.
By the way, Lawrence Tyne is making them. The irony.
2. Special teams. Sepcial teams can win games. Dante Hall was the X-Factor. A kickoff return or a punt return for a touchdown or good field position can be the deciding factor. It's not good if the return guy who is supposed to replace Dante Hall muffs the punt and the other team returns it for a touchdown. I don't care if you think the ref made an error, you are supposed to hold on to the ball with two hands and protect it. Hold it tight. Don't let it leave your hands for a second. Once it's loose, anyone can grab it.
If you are the cover team, you should tackle. You should be able to run and tackle. You do not blow coverage. The Chiefs for some reason, can't do this well. Maybe they should get better players...wait, the Chiefs GM and coaching staff said they did.
3. Offense. Was plain offensive. No running game. The passing game was good, but Huard threw two INTs. Not good.
4. Defense. Not there. Fourth quarter meltdown. Blown coverage. The same ol' situation. The same ol' ball and chain. I thought the Chiefs got good players...
5. Coaching. What the hell? Why do you insist on running when you're down by ten points? The running route--pound the ball--only works if the running game is good AND you're scoring points. It's even better when you are ahead and the defense is rolling along. The Chiefs had none. The Chiefs were down, the running game was lousy, and the defense couldn't do jack. Why run the ball in a conservative manner? It's not like the QB could do any worse than he already was doing! It's not like the Offense was doing anything while on the field except stall, fumble, get intercepted. They ain't scoring anything.
In sum, the Chiefs will have a lousy season. Rebuilding will be tough. Get ready for a whole lot of ugly.
This is a note for the Jayhawk football fans. Get ready for another mediocre season. Despite the recent results of the past two games (2 WINS, outscoring 114-7), this will be another ho-hum season. I don't care if the defense is fast. I don't care if the offense looks good. I don't care for those things. The Jayhawks were playing against Division 1AA teams I've never heard of before. I couldn't tell you where they were located. The Jayhawks were supposed to beat them by a large margin. Yes, there was the Michigan upset by Appalachain State, but the Wolverines are overrated. They actually suck. Hyped up to the extreme. Preseason polls mean shit.
Look, they can come out of the non-conference with a 4-0 record. That's nice. Once the regular conference comes, it will be a different story. Expect them to lose in the ways that are unexpected. Stuff like they pulled last year. Pulling defeat from the jaws of victory.
Look at their schedule. They are playing 4 not-so-great schools in the beginning. Their Big XII schedule doesn't include Texas or Oklahoma. They're rigging their schedule to make it a good-looking year, which would be something like .500, maybe 7 wins. Mangino has a nice pedigree, but he ain't doing a Bill Snyder (his former boss at K-State) or a Bill Stoops (former boss at Oklahoma).
That's all for now.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
It's An Update...All Legal Stuff
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update to this site, something that has not been done in quite a long time. And now, back to the regularly scheduled program...
Today's post is all about the legal system. Well, stories that involve criminals and the lawyers who have to defend them. These stories should teach you important lessons if you are a lawyer, wanting to be a lawyer, or if you happen to be on the wrong side of the law in the future. Not that you are criminals or anything... I hope my blog readers are not criminally inclined.
If you are a criminal and you've just been sentenced, there are certain things you should not do. You should not scream obscenities at the judge or the jury. You should not make threats at anyone, especially the judge. You also should not hit your lawyer like this man. As tempting as this may sound, it is not a good thing to do. Never do this.
In addition, if you have done the deed, do not blab that you did it to anyone. The person might be an informant. They might be a cop. They might tell the police on you. It is a good way of getting your butt hauled into jail. Not a good thing if you want your criminal tendencies to stay anonymous.
Do not do what this person did. He wrote a book and told how he did it. He got convicted of murder.
If you're accused of copyright infringement, do not plagiarize your appology speech from the Internet, just like this government official.
If you burglarize and vandalize a campsite, do not leave your name at the crime scene. The police, oddly enough, will track you down.
If you are angry at your wife's attorney, there are good ways of venting your anger. Committing arson is not an acceptable option.
So, do not do what these people have done. Your life will be much better.
That's all for now.
Today's post is all about the legal system. Well, stories that involve criminals and the lawyers who have to defend them. These stories should teach you important lessons if you are a lawyer, wanting to be a lawyer, or if you happen to be on the wrong side of the law in the future. Not that you are criminals or anything... I hope my blog readers are not criminally inclined.
If you are a criminal and you've just been sentenced, there are certain things you should not do. You should not scream obscenities at the judge or the jury. You should not make threats at anyone, especially the judge. You also should not hit your lawyer like this man. As tempting as this may sound, it is not a good thing to do. Never do this.
In addition, if you have done the deed, do not blab that you did it to anyone. The person might be an informant. They might be a cop. They might tell the police on you. It is a good way of getting your butt hauled into jail. Not a good thing if you want your criminal tendencies to stay anonymous.
Do not do what this person did. He wrote a book and told how he did it. He got convicted of murder.
If you're accused of copyright infringement, do not plagiarize your appology speech from the Internet, just like this government official.
If you burglarize and vandalize a campsite, do not leave your name at the crime scene. The police, oddly enough, will track you down.
If you are angry at your wife's attorney, there are good ways of venting your anger. Committing arson is not an acceptable option.
So, do not do what these people have done. Your life will be much better.
That's all for now.
Monday, August 06, 2007
The Cartoon History of the Universe
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for a semi-regular update to this site. I know that my life is so amazingly exciting that you all want to know what's going on.
I found this great book while downtown a few days ago. It's called The Cartoon History of the Universe (Henceforth known as Cartoon History). Despite it's seemingly lowbrow name, it's actually an informative and well-researched book. Well, I think the proper name for it is "graphic novel" as comic book suggests something a kid would read.
I really like this book. Being a former English and history major, if I find a book that is supposedly historical or based upon history or expounding on a particular period of time, I like it to be accurate. If there is something that I find to be inaccurate, I go bonkers and will rant and rave about it. I'm that kind of person. I'm a stickler for accuracy as well as a Grammar Nazi. OK, I'm not that anal about such things, but I do make an effort to use proper English.
In addition to being a stickler for accuracy, I also like to be entertained in some way. If the material is boring, I will not enjoy it. Even if it is a topic that I usually find interesting.
I also have a...well...one might say an "interesting" sense of humor. I like quirky, odd, and unusual humor. Sarcasm is a good thing. Satire is a good thing. If you can find humor in the most morbid of situations, that's even better. Irony is good also.
What makes Cartoon History so great is the author/illustrator's sense of humor, the interesting manner the material is presented, and its historical accuracy. One can learn many facts about history while being thoroughly entertained. It's surprisingly scholarly, sophisticated, and well-researched in nature while keeping the reader interested. There's no jargon and academic blather. If there are intelligent and credible theories, Gonick presents them in a friendly and accessible manner. He's skeptical about the familiar but questionable stories, in command of history, and he's pretty damn funny to boot. In sum, he's combined the best of traditional and unorthodox.
Quite possibly the best section in this volume was the part about Sparta. He covers all the bases from life in Sparta to the famous incident at Thermopylae. There are many clever illustrations, acerbic and witty dialogues, and historical facts to boot.
The best lines:
Brilliant. They never had that in the history books.
There are four other volumes in his history books. They seem to be as funny as this one. I hope to get them all.
So if you're looking for a more unusual look at history, this is the book for you.
That's all for now.
I found this great book while downtown a few days ago. It's called The Cartoon History of the Universe (Henceforth known as Cartoon History). Despite it's seemingly lowbrow name, it's actually an informative and well-researched book. Well, I think the proper name for it is "graphic novel" as comic book suggests something a kid would read.
I really like this book. Being a former English and history major, if I find a book that is supposedly historical or based upon history or expounding on a particular period of time, I like it to be accurate. If there is something that I find to be inaccurate, I go bonkers and will rant and rave about it. I'm that kind of person. I'm a stickler for accuracy as well as a Grammar Nazi. OK, I'm not that anal about such things, but I do make an effort to use proper English.
In addition to being a stickler for accuracy, I also like to be entertained in some way. If the material is boring, I will not enjoy it. Even if it is a topic that I usually find interesting.
I also have a...well...one might say an "interesting" sense of humor. I like quirky, odd, and unusual humor. Sarcasm is a good thing. Satire is a good thing. If you can find humor in the most morbid of situations, that's even better. Irony is good also.
What makes Cartoon History so great is the author/illustrator's sense of humor, the interesting manner the material is presented, and its historical accuracy. One can learn many facts about history while being thoroughly entertained. It's surprisingly scholarly, sophisticated, and well-researched in nature while keeping the reader interested. There's no jargon and academic blather. If there are intelligent and credible theories, Gonick presents them in a friendly and accessible manner. He's skeptical about the familiar but questionable stories, in command of history, and he's pretty damn funny to boot. In sum, he's combined the best of traditional and unorthodox.
Quite possibly the best section in this volume was the part about Sparta. He covers all the bases from life in Sparta to the famous incident at Thermopylae. There are many clever illustrations, acerbic and witty dialogues, and historical facts to boot.
The best lines:
Narrator: Now the Persians knew what they were up against!
Xerxes: Suicidal hairdressers...
Brilliant. They never had that in the history books.
There are four other volumes in his history books. They seem to be as funny as this one. I hope to get them all.
So if you're looking for a more unusual look at history, this is the book for you.
That's all for now.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Television News
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this piece of real estate on the Information Superhighway is all about me. I've been wasting bandwidth since 2005. If this is not your cup of tea, then please go to another site.
I've never been a fan of the news, especially the local news. I've written about this topic before, so this should not come as a major surprise. I have more things to complain and rant about now.
For some reason, TV journalists say some, well, in my honest opinion, really stupid things. For instance, if there is an accident or some natural disaster or some incident where people die, the news anchorperson will say something like this:
Um...and the number of dead people is supposed to do what...fall? Last time I checked, the death toll rarely decreases. And people don't come back to life when they are declared dead. Unless Jesus Christ just happens to be around and brings them back from the other side. Or you're a dead guy in a television show. Never in real life.
A bridge collapsed in Minneapolis yesterday. For some odd reason, KCTV5 is giving tips on how to survive a bridge collapse: "If you happen to be on a bridge when it is collapsing, here are some tips that might help you survive."
Yeah...I'm sure that will be really handy sooner or later. More like never as the odds of a person being on a collapsing bridge are astronomically low, even in a place that has a reputation for unsafe roads. I can think of a few tips that might help. Things like praying to God or a higher being that you don't die. Or gaining the ability to float. Or not being on the bridge in the first place. Why don't they do a special section on surviving a nuclear war or a massive asteroid strike or the end of the world?
And another thing...why do they milk every single emotional, tear-jerking moment from an incident? For weeks on end. I mean, what else is there to cover? Yes, it's a sad occasion when there's a natural disaster or a horrible accident. But nothing is going to change much. The dead will still be dead. They'll get buried. The living will mourn and try to survive. Things will get rebuilt. But not in a day or a week or a month. Come back later when things really change. Go on to something else. They news stations look like vultures picking over a carcass when they do live coverage from a tragedy.
There's a school shooting. Let's interview every single person on campus. Let's swarm on the campus and point cameras in all directions. Get a close-up shot of a person crying. Ask the same people the same questions over and over again. Look concerned and saddened when you hear the answers. Rinse and repeat. Keep on covering the story for weeks on end and ignore everything else.
There's a natural disaster. Zoom in on the dead bodies. Take pictures of the wreckage. Ask the survivors how it felt to be stuck in the middle of the disaster. More live coverage. Attend the funerals. More pictures. More questions. Rinse and repeat. Keep on covering the story for weeks on end and ignore everything else.
TV news? What a joke. That's all for now.
I've never been a fan of the news, especially the local news. I've written about this topic before, so this should not come as a major surprise. I have more things to complain and rant about now.
For some reason, TV journalists say some, well, in my honest opinion, really stupid things. For instance, if there is an accident or some natural disaster or some incident where people die, the news anchorperson will say something like this:
"There was atoday at . The number of people dead is and it is expected to rise."
Um...and the number of dead people is supposed to do what...fall? Last time I checked, the death toll rarely decreases. And people don't come back to life when they are declared dead. Unless Jesus Christ just happens to be around and brings them back from the other side. Or you're a dead guy in a television show. Never in real life.
A bridge collapsed in Minneapolis yesterday. For some odd reason, KCTV5 is giving tips on how to survive a bridge collapse: "If you happen to be on a bridge when it is collapsing, here are some tips that might help you survive."
Yeah...I'm sure that will be really handy sooner or later. More like never as the odds of a person being on a collapsing bridge are astronomically low, even in a place that has a reputation for unsafe roads. I can think of a few tips that might help. Things like praying to God or a higher being that you don't die. Or gaining the ability to float. Or not being on the bridge in the first place. Why don't they do a special section on surviving a nuclear war or a massive asteroid strike or the end of the world?
And another thing...why do they milk every single emotional, tear-jerking moment from an incident? For weeks on end. I mean, what else is there to cover? Yes, it's a sad occasion when there's a natural disaster or a horrible accident. But nothing is going to change much. The dead will still be dead. They'll get buried. The living will mourn and try to survive. Things will get rebuilt. But not in a day or a week or a month. Come back later when things really change. Go on to something else. They news stations look like vultures picking over a carcass when they do live coverage from a tragedy.
There's a school shooting. Let's interview every single person on campus. Let's swarm on the campus and point cameras in all directions. Get a close-up shot of a person crying. Ask the same people the same questions over and over again. Look concerned and saddened when you hear the answers. Rinse and repeat. Keep on covering the story for weeks on end and ignore everything else.
There's a natural disaster. Zoom in on the dead bodies. Take pictures of the wreckage. Ask the survivors how it felt to be stuck in the middle of the disaster. More live coverage. Attend the funerals. More pictures. More questions. Rinse and repeat. Keep on covering the story for weeks on end and ignore everything else.
TV news? What a joke. That's all for now.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Random Stuff
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this blog is all about me and the events that happen in my so-called life. Plus the random thoughts that float around in my head that need a home.
There was a sidewalk sale today in Lawrence. All the stores--well, most of them--were selling stuff on the sidewalks. Downtown Lawrence has an eclectic selection of stores covering the gamut of items to buy. You've got bookstores, places to eat, clothing, clubs, jewelry, and one store that will sell you everything but ice. Incidentally enough, the store that sells you everything but ice is called "Everything But Ice." I'm partial to the bookstores as I like reading. That and some of the restaurants like Zen Zero. For some reason, I can't seem to find a restaurant that serves really spicy food. The last time I went to Zen Zero, I asked for the food to be as spicy as they could make it. I still needed to add in like four teaspoons of sambal to get it decent. Anyways...
It was pleasant to spend some time browsing the stores and the various wares being offered. That and the people watching. I like watching people more than I like shopping. The experience would have been more pleasant if the weather had cooperated. It was well over 90 degrees and the humidity wasn't helping much. That and the prices were a little out of my price range. And I wasn't in the shopping mood as there was nothing that I wanted or needed to buy.
Speaking of money, the KU Alumni Association keeps excellent track of the alumni. I think I've received at least one piece of mail from them every day. All of these offers. The official KU Alumni Association VISA card. Plus the Mastercard version. The official KU Alumni temporary health care plan. The official KU Alumni insurance policy/car insurance plan. Every single brochure for alumni donation and the wonderful benefits like the magazine, autographed basketballs, posters, pictures, Christmas ornaments, etc.
Um...I don't need that stuff right now. It would be nice of them if they could give me money instead of asking me for it.
Today, I got a letter from them. It asked me to fill out a form so they could keep track of how I was doing and so they could update their records...so they could send me more stuff asking me for money. I was sorely tempted to put in wrong information. Like giving them the phone number to a pizza place in Seattle, Washington. The address of a homeless shelter in New York City or some place in the middle of nowhere. Just to stop getting that stuff.
Considering how well they can track people down, I wouldn't be surprised if the alumni association could send you mail anywhere, any time. I could change my name, have a new address, an unlisted phone number, and join the witness protection program, and the alumni association would still be able to track me down and ask me for money.
That's all for now.
There was a sidewalk sale today in Lawrence. All the stores--well, most of them--were selling stuff on the sidewalks. Downtown Lawrence has an eclectic selection of stores covering the gamut of items to buy. You've got bookstores, places to eat, clothing, clubs, jewelry, and one store that will sell you everything but ice. Incidentally enough, the store that sells you everything but ice is called "Everything But Ice." I'm partial to the bookstores as I like reading. That and some of the restaurants like Zen Zero. For some reason, I can't seem to find a restaurant that serves really spicy food. The last time I went to Zen Zero, I asked for the food to be as spicy as they could make it. I still needed to add in like four teaspoons of sambal to get it decent. Anyways...
It was pleasant to spend some time browsing the stores and the various wares being offered. That and the people watching. I like watching people more than I like shopping. The experience would have been more pleasant if the weather had cooperated. It was well over 90 degrees and the humidity wasn't helping much. That and the prices were a little out of my price range. And I wasn't in the shopping mood as there was nothing that I wanted or needed to buy.
Speaking of money, the KU Alumni Association keeps excellent track of the alumni. I think I've received at least one piece of mail from them every day. All of these offers. The official KU Alumni Association VISA card. Plus the Mastercard version. The official KU Alumni temporary health care plan. The official KU Alumni insurance policy/car insurance plan. Every single brochure for alumni donation and the wonderful benefits like the magazine, autographed basketballs, posters, pictures, Christmas ornaments, etc.
Um...I don't need that stuff right now. It would be nice of them if they could give me money instead of asking me for it.
Today, I got a letter from them. It asked me to fill out a form so they could keep track of how I was doing and so they could update their records...so they could send me more stuff asking me for money. I was sorely tempted to put in wrong information. Like giving them the phone number to a pizza place in Seattle, Washington. The address of a homeless shelter in New York City or some place in the middle of nowhere. Just to stop getting that stuff.
Considering how well they can track people down, I wouldn't be surprised if the alumni association could send you mail anywhere, any time. I could change my name, have a new address, an unlisted phone number, and join the witness protection program, and the alumni association would still be able to track me down and ask me for money.
That's all for now.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Car Watching
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about me and the little things happening in my life that I find interesting. If you don't like what this site is all about, leave it.
While driving in Lawrence, I look at the cars that people drive. This year, I've noticed a sharp increase in the number of Ford Mustangs on the road. In the past years, I would notice a whole lot of Beetles. I guess that was the vehicle of choice in past years, considering the hippie/college town vibe that Lawrence is known for.
Of course, a lot of the cars being driven in Lawrence are pretty practical and few are what you would consider luxury cars. Sure, there are the many variety of Hummers and SUVs on the road. However, they're nothing like the traditional luxury cars you normally think of.
I've seem a few BMW Z coupes in red, bronze, and silver. Every once in a while, I see a Corvette. Sometimes, it's the classic Corvette Stingray which is still an awesome car. And sometimes, it's the C06, but never a Z06. I'm thinking the $40,000 version (C06) rates high enough on the car coolness scale to top all the competition. Once you think about it, the C06 is a fine car, as good a sports car you can get for that price. Some might argue it's better than a Porsche and a lot more fun. Face it. A Corvette is an iconic car.
Speaking of Porsches, they exist in Lawrence. The one I see the most is a red Porsche Boxster. I can't imagine a yellow Porsche for some reason. I've also seen a black Cayman S and a silver Cayman driving down 23rd Street. Those were eye-catchers.
I've never seen a Ferrari in Lawrence before. Then again, you rarely see a Ferrari in most corners of the world. Except in Italy. And on a F1 racetrack or in places where the rich and famous hang out.
It's kind of nice to see them in real life. Pictures, no matter how glossy they are, just don't have the same visual appeal as the real article. So it was nice to see a stream of Ferraris crusing down Mass Street. All of them were red, oddly enough. Or at least the Ferraris I was seeing at that moment. For some reason, I can't imagine a Ferrari that is not red. They are always red.
Apparently, the Ferrari Club of America was hosting a meeting in town. So for a few hours today, a large number of Ferraris were in Lawrence. Now, if I can only see a Lamborghini in Lawrence...
That's all for now.
While driving in Lawrence, I look at the cars that people drive. This year, I've noticed a sharp increase in the number of Ford Mustangs on the road. In the past years, I would notice a whole lot of Beetles. I guess that was the vehicle of choice in past years, considering the hippie/college town vibe that Lawrence is known for.
Of course, a lot of the cars being driven in Lawrence are pretty practical and few are what you would consider luxury cars. Sure, there are the many variety of Hummers and SUVs on the road. However, they're nothing like the traditional luxury cars you normally think of.
I've seem a few BMW Z coupes in red, bronze, and silver. Every once in a while, I see a Corvette. Sometimes, it's the classic Corvette Stingray which is still an awesome car. And sometimes, it's the C06, but never a Z06. I'm thinking the $40,000 version (C06) rates high enough on the car coolness scale to top all the competition. Once you think about it, the C06 is a fine car, as good a sports car you can get for that price. Some might argue it's better than a Porsche and a lot more fun. Face it. A Corvette is an iconic car.
Speaking of Porsches, they exist in Lawrence. The one I see the most is a red Porsche Boxster. I can't imagine a yellow Porsche for some reason. I've also seen a black Cayman S and a silver Cayman driving down 23rd Street. Those were eye-catchers.
I've never seen a Ferrari in Lawrence before. Then again, you rarely see a Ferrari in most corners of the world. Except in Italy. And on a F1 racetrack or in places where the rich and famous hang out.
It's kind of nice to see them in real life. Pictures, no matter how glossy they are, just don't have the same visual appeal as the real article. So it was nice to see a stream of Ferraris crusing down Mass Street. All of them were red, oddly enough. Or at least the Ferraris I was seeing at that moment. For some reason, I can't imagine a Ferrari that is not red. They are always red.
Apparently, the Ferrari Club of America was hosting a meeting in town. So for a few hours today, a large number of Ferraris were in Lawrence. Now, if I can only see a Lamborghini in Lawrence...
That's all for now.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
I Hate the Oreo Commercials... a Rant on TV
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site (that I know of) on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Basically, this site is all about me and the random things that I find interesting floating around in my head. Things can get messy up there. For some people, this site may not be for your viewing/reading pleasure. If so, then please kindly press the Back icon on your web browser. Or you can try one of the links in the sidebar.
You've now been warned. Any harmful effects from viewing this site are your problems and your problems alone. I'm not responsible.
I've been watching much more television than I should be watching. What I have seen lately has proven to be disappointing. And the ads talking about what will be coming on TV this summer, well, I'm sorely disappointed. I also wonder who are the idiots doing the scheduling this summer until the much better programs come back in the fall.
Maybe my tastes aren't exactly what the Madison Avenue suits think is the ideal viewer. Then again, I'm not the typical person. At least when it comes to TV habits or TV tastes. After all, I find PBS entertaining. I think that people would be smarter and much more well-informed about the world if they watched PBS and read some more books and newspapers. It's depressing when people know all the details about Lindsey Lohan's drunk driving/drug use/party behavior yet know little about Iraq. Or when Paris Hilton's time in jail trumps the war in Iraq that's nor really a war as major combat has been declared officially over 3 years ago. I digress. You can see my personal views on American society aren't that popular.
If everyone had my tastes in television, TV might consist of cooking programs (nothing too saccharine-like, commercial-grade fluff like Rachel Ray. How I miss Julia Child), science shows like NOVA, British mysteries, sports like football and basketball, and lots of comedy (Monty Python, Red Green, In Living Color, stand-up, etc. SNL's quality is nothing like what it used to be. Think of the glory days in the 80's and early 90's), and certain types of movies. To accurately describe the movies I like would take a while. It's an odd and ecclectic mix of the stereotypically high-brow and the stereotypically common and average. Nothing that would make much money if it actually became a TV channel.
I hate the Oreo commercials they are broadcasting right now. I absolutely hate them. Despise them. Loathe them with great contempt. I think they are one of the most annoying commecials I have ever seen, as well as the biggest waste of perfectly good money and time ever.
I remember when the Oreo commercials were good. Sure, they were kind of kitschy and cloyingly Norman Rockwell in their nature. And they pulled on the emotions a lot. There were the three ballerinas who poured their milk into one glass to dunk Oreos. And there was the little boy who had a sippy cup. And there were the numerous father-son, mother-daughter, grandparent-grandkid commercials when everyone got together and ate Oreos with a glass of milk. Those were simple, well-made commercials that, I believe, appealed to everyone. Who hasn't had an Oreo with a glass of milk?
And now, the commercials make me want to smash a television. Seriously.
There were the series of commercials that had two people competing against each other on who could eat their Oreo the fastest. The one where they showed people licking the creme filling. That was disgusting in my opinion and it turned me off. Couldn't look at a package of Oreos without imagining tongues licking them and coating them in saliva before dunking them in milk.
Currently, the commericals have taken the levels of annoying and sheer stupidity to a place I never thought was possible. The first commerical is the "Cat and Girls Singing" commerical. In this commercial (made to look homemade with the camcorder and shaky video quality), some girls are singing the Oreo jingle while their cat is playing with a dish. The commercial is already annoying as the girls can't sing worth a damn and I want to smack them to shut them up. If that wasn't bad enough, when the plate of Oreos fall into the cat's dish of milk, the girls start screaming like it was the coolest thing ever. No. It's not. And the screams are annoying as well. It makes me want to reconsider having children. If this is how they're going to end up being like, well, I sure as hell ain't having them.
In addition, I also hate the "Chin Face" commercial. For some reason, the makers of Oreos want to torture people watching TV by choosing the most annoying and least entertaining ways of selling their products. They've got the multicultural kids/adults, which isn't a bad thing. But they all stink at singing. Seriously stink at singing. It's like they studied and graduated magna cum laude from the William Hung Acadamy of Vocal Arts. If this was done in a cute/entertaining way like the Oscar Mayer commercial, I would forgive them. But they don't do it in a cute way. Oh no. The Oreo people have to do the fucking chin face.
For those that do not remember the Chin Face, it's when you stick little eyes on your chin, cover the rest of your face with cloth, and pretend your chin is your forehead. It's the amazingly unfunny shit that thousands of people/sheep/dumbass morons did during the late 80's and early 90's so they could win $10,000 on America's Funniest People or America's Funniest Home Videos. That period in time when Bob Saget and Dave Coullier were the hosts of the shows. The embarassingly stupid and pointless cultural phenomenon that I thought was dead and buried under ten feet of concrete like Jimmy Hoffa. I didn't find it entertaining back then and I sure as hell don't find it that fucking hilarious right now. Whenever I see a chin face video, I wish I could beat the person and ask them "What are you thinking? It's not funny!" I want to do that to the Oreo people as well.
I also think that the network executives are fucking crazy. Whoever came up with the new show ideas were retards. And whoever approved those ideas are even bigger retards. And whoever thinks these shows are amusing, well, you guess.
ABC has a show that's supposed to be similar to Candid Camera or something like that. I've seen the ads promoting the show and I don't think it's that amusing. Or that funny. Or even worth watching. Whoever made that commercial was a sadist. I don't think it's funny when someone pretends to stab themself in the hand with a sharp butcher knife. Or it's even remotely funny when a person thinks a guy in a wheelchair is coasting down a hill and it looks like they might get hit by speeding traffic. A normal person would be shocked at that. That's the normal reaction to an event like that.
Think about it. If someone actually stabbed themself in the hand with a knife by accident, would you laugh at that and find it hilarious? If a person in a wheelchair lost control while going up a hill and was about to get hit by a car, would you find that funny? A normal person who saw those events happening and didn't realize it was fake, would be scared, shocked, etc. You don't laugh at them. If it was for real, then what? Would you laugh at them for acting that way?
Anyone who thinks that is amusing is sick. It's not funny. It's tasteless. And I'm a person that is pretty open to lots of things.
That's all for now.
You've now been warned. Any harmful effects from viewing this site are your problems and your problems alone. I'm not responsible.
I've been watching much more television than I should be watching. What I have seen lately has proven to be disappointing. And the ads talking about what will be coming on TV this summer, well, I'm sorely disappointed. I also wonder who are the idiots doing the scheduling this summer until the much better programs come back in the fall.
Maybe my tastes aren't exactly what the Madison Avenue suits think is the ideal viewer. Then again, I'm not the typical person. At least when it comes to TV habits or TV tastes. After all, I find PBS entertaining. I think that people would be smarter and much more well-informed about the world if they watched PBS and read some more books and newspapers. It's depressing when people know all the details about Lindsey Lohan's drunk driving/drug use/party behavior yet know little about Iraq. Or when Paris Hilton's time in jail trumps the war in Iraq that's nor really a war as major combat has been declared officially over 3 years ago. I digress. You can see my personal views on American society aren't that popular.
If everyone had my tastes in television, TV might consist of cooking programs (nothing too saccharine-like, commercial-grade fluff like Rachel Ray. How I miss Julia Child), science shows like NOVA, British mysteries, sports like football and basketball, and lots of comedy (Monty Python, Red Green, In Living Color, stand-up, etc. SNL's quality is nothing like what it used to be. Think of the glory days in the 80's and early 90's), and certain types of movies. To accurately describe the movies I like would take a while. It's an odd and ecclectic mix of the stereotypically high-brow and the stereotypically common and average. Nothing that would make much money if it actually became a TV channel.
I hate the Oreo commercials they are broadcasting right now. I absolutely hate them. Despise them. Loathe them with great contempt. I think they are one of the most annoying commecials I have ever seen, as well as the biggest waste of perfectly good money and time ever.
I remember when the Oreo commercials were good. Sure, they were kind of kitschy and cloyingly Norman Rockwell in their nature. And they pulled on the emotions a lot. There were the three ballerinas who poured their milk into one glass to dunk Oreos. And there was the little boy who had a sippy cup. And there were the numerous father-son, mother-daughter, grandparent-grandkid commercials when everyone got together and ate Oreos with a glass of milk. Those were simple, well-made commercials that, I believe, appealed to everyone. Who hasn't had an Oreo with a glass of milk?
And now, the commercials make me want to smash a television. Seriously.
There were the series of commercials that had two people competing against each other on who could eat their Oreo the fastest. The one where they showed people licking the creme filling. That was disgusting in my opinion and it turned me off. Couldn't look at a package of Oreos without imagining tongues licking them and coating them in saliva before dunking them in milk.
Currently, the commericals have taken the levels of annoying and sheer stupidity to a place I never thought was possible. The first commerical is the "Cat and Girls Singing" commerical. In this commercial (made to look homemade with the camcorder and shaky video quality), some girls are singing the Oreo jingle while their cat is playing with a dish. The commercial is already annoying as the girls can't sing worth a damn and I want to smack them to shut them up. If that wasn't bad enough, when the plate of Oreos fall into the cat's dish of milk, the girls start screaming like it was the coolest thing ever. No. It's not. And the screams are annoying as well. It makes me want to reconsider having children. If this is how they're going to end up being like, well, I sure as hell ain't having them.
In addition, I also hate the "Chin Face" commercial. For some reason, the makers of Oreos want to torture people watching TV by choosing the most annoying and least entertaining ways of selling their products. They've got the multicultural kids/adults, which isn't a bad thing. But they all stink at singing. Seriously stink at singing. It's like they studied and graduated magna cum laude from the William Hung Acadamy of Vocal Arts. If this was done in a cute/entertaining way like the Oscar Mayer commercial, I would forgive them. But they don't do it in a cute way. Oh no. The Oreo people have to do the fucking chin face.
For those that do not remember the Chin Face, it's when you stick little eyes on your chin, cover the rest of your face with cloth, and pretend your chin is your forehead. It's the amazingly unfunny shit that thousands of people/sheep/dumbass morons did during the late 80's and early 90's so they could win $10,000 on America's Funniest People or America's Funniest Home Videos. That period in time when Bob Saget and Dave Coullier were the hosts of the shows. The embarassingly stupid and pointless cultural phenomenon that I thought was dead and buried under ten feet of concrete like Jimmy Hoffa. I didn't find it entertaining back then and I sure as hell don't find it that fucking hilarious right now. Whenever I see a chin face video, I wish I could beat the person and ask them "What are you thinking? It's not funny!" I want to do that to the Oreo people as well.
I also think that the network executives are fucking crazy. Whoever came up with the new show ideas were retards. And whoever approved those ideas are even bigger retards. And whoever thinks these shows are amusing, well, you guess.
ABC has a show that's supposed to be similar to Candid Camera or something like that. I've seen the ads promoting the show and I don't think it's that amusing. Or that funny. Or even worth watching. Whoever made that commercial was a sadist. I don't think it's funny when someone pretends to stab themself in the hand with a sharp butcher knife. Or it's even remotely funny when a person thinks a guy in a wheelchair is coasting down a hill and it looks like they might get hit by speeding traffic. A normal person would be shocked at that. That's the normal reaction to an event like that.
Think about it. If someone actually stabbed themself in the hand with a knife by accident, would you laugh at that and find it hilarious? If a person in a wheelchair lost control while going up a hill and was about to get hit by a car, would you find that funny? A normal person who saw those events happening and didn't realize it was fake, would be scared, shocked, etc. You don't laugh at them. If it was for real, then what? Would you laugh at them for acting that way?
Anyone who thinks that is amusing is sick. It's not funny. It's tasteless. And I'm a person that is pretty open to lots of things.
That's all for now.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
I'm Not An Employee
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. This site is all about me, the things that I find interesting, and the events that happen in my so-called life. If this is not your cup of tea, then this site is just not for you.
It's time for an update to this site, something I am doing on an irregular basis. I've been keeping busy doing other tasks, so the amount of free time I have to spend on things like this is not as much as before. Despite the lack of time, I will try to make posts on this site as often as I can.
A funny story. Since I come from a South Korean background as both my parents are from South Korea, I visit Asianl supermarkets that sell Korean food. The one in Lawrence does not carry certain products that I want, so it is necessary to make a trip to Kansas City. There are two Asian supermarkets there and both have the products that the Lawrence store do not have. Of the two Asian supermarkets, I prefer the one at 103rd and Metcalf. It has a much larger variety of items--everything from noodles, produce, candy, snacks, and beverages--and in general, the prices are cheaper. Then again, if you're importing anything, it is expensive, unless it's mass produced and sold at a retail store like WalMart or Target. I digress.
I'm shopping at the Asian supermarket at 103rd and Metcalf. I'm pushing my cart, going through the aisles, looking at the various food products being sold. I'm in the aisles selling sauces when a Korean girl (probably attending college) and with her boyfriend asks me, "Excuse me, do you know where the dried seaweed is?"
For those who cringe at the thought of dried seaweed, consider this. If you eat at a Japanese place serving California rolls, you're eating dried seaweed. Guess what makes ice cream so creamy? Ground up seaweed. Same thing with lots of other food and products like shampoo and soap. Seaweed is everywhere.
I respond, "I'm sorry. I'm not sure."
"Don't you work here?"
Um...I wonder why she asked that? I guess that she saw that I was obviously Asian. I'm in the store. Therefore, I must be an employee. Uh...the cart makes it obvious that I'm not an employee. I'm not carrying any clipboards or the little price sticker device or anything that would make me an obvious employee. If that wasn't good enough, I'm asking myself, "Where is the red pepper paste?" If that isn't enough, then I don't know what is.
"Uh, no. I don't work here."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I thought that since you were Asian..."
'That's OK. I'm not sure, but I think the dried seaweed is over there." I point towards the back of the store.
"I'm so sorry for the mistake I made." Why Koreans (she did speak in Korean and what she did speak, I understood. Stuff like "I'm sorry, thank you, etc.") have to appologize so much is beyond my comprehension. I've read about the cultural differences, but it still makes little sense. "Thank you (In Korean, mind you)."
This makes me think that I should carry a sign that says "I DON'T WORK HERE" whenever I go to an Asian supermarket or any other store that caters to Asians.
That's all for now.
It's time for an update to this site, something I am doing on an irregular basis. I've been keeping busy doing other tasks, so the amount of free time I have to spend on things like this is not as much as before. Despite the lack of time, I will try to make posts on this site as often as I can.
A funny story. Since I come from a South Korean background as both my parents are from South Korea, I visit Asianl supermarkets that sell Korean food. The one in Lawrence does not carry certain products that I want, so it is necessary to make a trip to Kansas City. There are two Asian supermarkets there and both have the products that the Lawrence store do not have. Of the two Asian supermarkets, I prefer the one at 103rd and Metcalf. It has a much larger variety of items--everything from noodles, produce, candy, snacks, and beverages--and in general, the prices are cheaper. Then again, if you're importing anything, it is expensive, unless it's mass produced and sold at a retail store like WalMart or Target. I digress.
I'm shopping at the Asian supermarket at 103rd and Metcalf. I'm pushing my cart, going through the aisles, looking at the various food products being sold. I'm in the aisles selling sauces when a Korean girl (probably attending college) and with her boyfriend asks me, "Excuse me, do you know where the dried seaweed is?"
For those who cringe at the thought of dried seaweed, consider this. If you eat at a Japanese place serving California rolls, you're eating dried seaweed. Guess what makes ice cream so creamy? Ground up seaweed. Same thing with lots of other food and products like shampoo and soap. Seaweed is everywhere.
I respond, "I'm sorry. I'm not sure."
"Don't you work here?"
Um...I wonder why she asked that? I guess that she saw that I was obviously Asian. I'm in the store. Therefore, I must be an employee. Uh...the cart makes it obvious that I'm not an employee. I'm not carrying any clipboards or the little price sticker device or anything that would make me an obvious employee. If that wasn't good enough, I'm asking myself, "Where is the red pepper paste?" If that isn't enough, then I don't know what is.
"Uh, no. I don't work here."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I thought that since you were Asian..."
'That's OK. I'm not sure, but I think the dried seaweed is over there." I point towards the back of the store.
"I'm so sorry for the mistake I made." Why Koreans (she did speak in Korean and what she did speak, I understood. Stuff like "I'm sorry, thank you, etc.") have to appologize so much is beyond my comprehension. I've read about the cultural differences, but it still makes little sense. "Thank you (In Korean, mind you)."
This makes me think that I should carry a sign that says "I DON'T WORK HERE" whenever I go to an Asian supermarket or any other store that caters to Asians.
That's all for now.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Graduating From KU...Again
Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Just in case you don't know, this site is all about me, my so-called life, and all the little things that I find interesting. If this is not your particular cup of tea, Google can help give you some other sites to look at. And so, something that you've been waiting for. It's an update to this site, so you're getting something. This post is about graduation day. Yes, I'm late with this post, but at least I'm talking about this momentous occasion. So read on and enjoy.
"Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don't know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it."
--Sir William Haley
"Sometimes justice cannot be had without money."
--Thomas Hobbes
In August 2004, I entered the doors of the University of Kansas School of Law as a 1L, the bottom of the totem pole. Like the other students in the class of 2007, I didn't know what to expect. I had heard and read all of the stories about law school. There were the professors from Hell who employed the Socratic Method, berating students who failed to prepare for class. There were the legends of the heavy workload, all of the reading that had to be done. The grading system that was supposed to be fair but was unfair. There were the final exams and the dreaded Bar Exam and how that was another level of Hell added to the mix. Then there were the other stories I heard about law school.
Graduates of law school made money, lots of money. They were respected members of the community. You had a certain level of prestige that others did not. You could never fail law school unless you totally messed up and failed to show up for the final exam. And there was the legendary parties and social events where drinking alcohol was the norm. The four day weekend that began on Thursday night.
On May 17, 2007, it was all over. The last final exam was turned in. Graduating 3Ls attened parties, got drunk, and celebrated the end of law school. Not the end of the semester, but the end of law school. No more school, no more classes, no more books. The end.
And what did I learn from three years of law school? I learned quite a bit. I learned about the intricate nature of contracts, criminal law, criminal procedure, property, civil procedure, constitutional law, international law, trial advocacy, income tax procedure, and everything else under the sun. Much of this involved concepts expressed in a foreign language like Latin and French instead of English. This made understanding such concepts harder. I also learned that law school will cost you money, lots of money. Any graduate of law school will know what I am talking about. I also know that I really don't know everything there is to know about the law, but a very broad but shallow base. The rest I will have to learn on my own in the real world. I guess that this is more that what most people learn in law school.
Even then, despite turning in my last final exam, it still was not official according to the University of Kansas. It would not be official until May 20, 2007 when the Chancellor of KU declared it so. But first, came the law school hooding ceremony. There would be some extra guests there: The Westburo Baptist Church led by Fred Phelps.
"Fundamentalists are to Christianity what paint-by-numbers is to art."
--Robin Tyler
Fred Phelps and the Westburo Baptist Church...what more can be said about the congregation led by a homophobic minister who used to be a lawyer? Good ol' Fred Phelps used to be a lawyer. Interestingly enough, he was a civil rights lawyer. This might be a case of irony writ large. Note the phrase "used to." He was disbarred in the State of Kansas. Not for his religious or personal beliefs, but for conduct not becoming of a lawyer (basically, this is lawyer-speak for being a total jerk). Now, Fred Phelps graduated from a Kansas law school. I get the feeling that the law school who gave him the diploma would have taken it back long ago had the law school known this would be the result. Ah, but you can't turn back time. You just have to make the most of it. Just like Fred Phelps.
He has protested the KU Law hooding ceremony for many years. It's a chance to get a whole lot of free publicity. At least 1600 people who will walk by and see his motley crew of homophobes. If he gets some coverage by the news, all the better. As long as people see him, he wins in his opinion.
While waiting for the ceremony to start, several guys I know thought this would be a great photo opportunity. Why not take a picture in front of the protestors? Show some KU Jayhawk spirit. The Westburo Baptist protestors, showing the level of wit that the average Mizzou basketball fan possesses (who also have no intelligence or taste at all), has a sign saying "KU Gayhawks." So the guys and I take a few pictures.
After talking to some people in some random conversation, it's not time for the hooding ceremony.
"My parents sent my brother through law school. He graduated. Now he's suing them for wasting seven years of his life."
--Mike Binder
Faculty and staff at the law school describe the hooding ceremony in grand terms. After experiencing this rite of passage, I'm not that impressed. Just like many things in law school, it sounds important but really isn't once you translate it to English. Then again, the law school is telling me that I've graduated, so it's important.
Law school has taught me how to condense everything and just mention the really important stuff. Procession down the aisles. Sit in chairs. Listen to a professor give out awards to members of the graduating class. The Dean gives the traditional graduation speech. Get up again. Get on stage. Shake hands. Get picture taken. Shake hands. Get back in seat. End of ceremony.
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."
--George Carlin
It would not be an official graduation at the University of Kansas unless one has taken the "Walk Down the Hill." This is what makes the graduation official to most KU students, not the ceremony inside Memorial Stadium. It's an essential symbol, an essential rite of graduation. The walk through the Campanille and down the hill is graduation. Sure, the speeches and pomp and circumstance is nice, but The Walk Down the Hill is what counts.
All the administration at KU tells you to be at your appointed spots before 2:30 PM as that is when the ceremony begins. That's when the walk begins. What they don't tell you is that there's a certain order in how the various schools go down the hill. The professional schools go after the College of Liberal Arts and Science or CLAS. Law is second to last. Medicine is last. Basically, the Law school has to wait for about an hour until everyone else has gone down the hill and entered the stadium. When it gets hot (which has happened before), near a hundred degrees, waiting for an hour can seem like a lifetime, an experience akin to torture.
Thankfully, it was a glorious day in May. Not too hot. Just right.
Since this is the law school, this year's graduating class was prepared for the long wait. And since this is law school, there was lots of alcohol involved. Several students brought in bottles of champagne. Not to open and spray everyone, but to drink. As one law school student commented, "Spray the champagne everywhere? Hell no. That would be a perfect waste of alcohol. I'm drinking this. Want to join me?" And he pulled out two glasses.
Someone was even more prepared, just like the Boy Scouts, but with a ticket to AA. His backpack had a miniature stereo system installed. Plus some ice packs. And a bottle of champagne. And a bottle of Jack Daniels. And a bag of ice. And a set of highball glasses to boot.
Some other people brought along cigars to smoke. One person came in late, carrying a box containing beer. Let's just say that there was a miniature party in the law school section. Anyone dropping by the law school section would have had a marvelous time or at least gotten very drunk. In either case, there was loud music and alcohol.
Oh. The graduation ceremony. It was like any other graduation ceremony. A moment of silence. The singing of the national anthem. The general procession of awards given out to excellent students and faculty. A lot of other filler that extends the ceremony an additional thirty minutes. The graduation speech given by the Chancellor. This speech does not change that much each year. Though he might give a new speech if it's been used too often, like once every, what, ten years. It may seem like a joke, but it's the truth. I've heard this year's speech last year. And also again in 2004 when I graduated from KU with a BA in English.
Once this was all over, the ceremony came to what everyone was there for. The Chancellor officially conferring degrees to all the worthy graduates. This didn't take too long...about five minutes. Then it was done. Oh. I forgot a few steps that were necessary for a KU graduation ceremony.
No graduation ceremony at KU is official without the Alma Mater, the KU fight song, and the Rock Chalk Chant. Once that is all done with, the ceremony is finally over. And this was done in quick order.
That was graduation day in a condensed form. If you would like to know more about graduation day in detail, please graduate from KU. That's the best way to know.
That's all for now.
"Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don't know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it."
--Sir William Haley
"Sometimes justice cannot be had without money."
--Thomas Hobbes
In August 2004, I entered the doors of the University of Kansas School of Law as a 1L, the bottom of the totem pole. Like the other students in the class of 2007, I didn't know what to expect. I had heard and read all of the stories about law school. There were the professors from Hell who employed the Socratic Method, berating students who failed to prepare for class. There were the legends of the heavy workload, all of the reading that had to be done. The grading system that was supposed to be fair but was unfair. There were the final exams and the dreaded Bar Exam and how that was another level of Hell added to the mix. Then there were the other stories I heard about law school.
Graduates of law school made money, lots of money. They were respected members of the community. You had a certain level of prestige that others did not. You could never fail law school unless you totally messed up and failed to show up for the final exam. And there was the legendary parties and social events where drinking alcohol was the norm. The four day weekend that began on Thursday night.
On May 17, 2007, it was all over. The last final exam was turned in. Graduating 3Ls attened parties, got drunk, and celebrated the end of law school. Not the end of the semester, but the end of law school. No more school, no more classes, no more books. The end.
And what did I learn from three years of law school? I learned quite a bit. I learned about the intricate nature of contracts, criminal law, criminal procedure, property, civil procedure, constitutional law, international law, trial advocacy, income tax procedure, and everything else under the sun. Much of this involved concepts expressed in a foreign language like Latin and French instead of English. This made understanding such concepts harder. I also learned that law school will cost you money, lots of money. Any graduate of law school will know what I am talking about. I also know that I really don't know everything there is to know about the law, but a very broad but shallow base. The rest I will have to learn on my own in the real world. I guess that this is more that what most people learn in law school.
Even then, despite turning in my last final exam, it still was not official according to the University of Kansas. It would not be official until May 20, 2007 when the Chancellor of KU declared it so. But first, came the law school hooding ceremony. There would be some extra guests there: The Westburo Baptist Church led by Fred Phelps.
"Fundamentalists are to Christianity what paint-by-numbers is to art."
--Robin Tyler
Fred Phelps and the Westburo Baptist Church...what more can be said about the congregation led by a homophobic minister who used to be a lawyer? Good ol' Fred Phelps used to be a lawyer. Interestingly enough, he was a civil rights lawyer. This might be a case of irony writ large. Note the phrase "used to." He was disbarred in the State of Kansas. Not for his religious or personal beliefs, but for conduct not becoming of a lawyer (basically, this is lawyer-speak for being a total jerk). Now, Fred Phelps graduated from a Kansas law school. I get the feeling that the law school who gave him the diploma would have taken it back long ago had the law school known this would be the result. Ah, but you can't turn back time. You just have to make the most of it. Just like Fred Phelps.
He has protested the KU Law hooding ceremony for many years. It's a chance to get a whole lot of free publicity. At least 1600 people who will walk by and see his motley crew of homophobes. If he gets some coverage by the news, all the better. As long as people see him, he wins in his opinion.
While waiting for the ceremony to start, several guys I know thought this would be a great photo opportunity. Why not take a picture in front of the protestors? Show some KU Jayhawk spirit. The Westburo Baptist protestors, showing the level of wit that the average Mizzou basketball fan possesses (who also have no intelligence or taste at all), has a sign saying "KU Gayhawks." So the guys and I take a few pictures.
After talking to some people in some random conversation, it's not time for the hooding ceremony.
"My parents sent my brother through law school. He graduated. Now he's suing them for wasting seven years of his life."
--Mike Binder
Faculty and staff at the law school describe the hooding ceremony in grand terms. After experiencing this rite of passage, I'm not that impressed. Just like many things in law school, it sounds important but really isn't once you translate it to English. Then again, the law school is telling me that I've graduated, so it's important.
Law school has taught me how to condense everything and just mention the really important stuff. Procession down the aisles. Sit in chairs. Listen to a professor give out awards to members of the graduating class. The Dean gives the traditional graduation speech. Get up again. Get on stage. Shake hands. Get picture taken. Shake hands. Get back in seat. End of ceremony.
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."
--George Carlin
It would not be an official graduation at the University of Kansas unless one has taken the "Walk Down the Hill." This is what makes the graduation official to most KU students, not the ceremony inside Memorial Stadium. It's an essential symbol, an essential rite of graduation. The walk through the Campanille and down the hill is graduation. Sure, the speeches and pomp and circumstance is nice, but The Walk Down the Hill is what counts.
All the administration at KU tells you to be at your appointed spots before 2:30 PM as that is when the ceremony begins. That's when the walk begins. What they don't tell you is that there's a certain order in how the various schools go down the hill. The professional schools go after the College of Liberal Arts and Science or CLAS. Law is second to last. Medicine is last. Basically, the Law school has to wait for about an hour until everyone else has gone down the hill and entered the stadium. When it gets hot (which has happened before), near a hundred degrees, waiting for an hour can seem like a lifetime, an experience akin to torture.
Thankfully, it was a glorious day in May. Not too hot. Just right.
Since this is the law school, this year's graduating class was prepared for the long wait. And since this is law school, there was lots of alcohol involved. Several students brought in bottles of champagne. Not to open and spray everyone, but to drink. As one law school student commented, "Spray the champagne everywhere? Hell no. That would be a perfect waste of alcohol. I'm drinking this. Want to join me?" And he pulled out two glasses.
Someone was even more prepared, just like the Boy Scouts, but with a ticket to AA. His backpack had a miniature stereo system installed. Plus some ice packs. And a bottle of champagne. And a bottle of Jack Daniels. And a bag of ice. And a set of highball glasses to boot.
Some other people brought along cigars to smoke. One person came in late, carrying a box containing beer. Let's just say that there was a miniature party in the law school section. Anyone dropping by the law school section would have had a marvelous time or at least gotten very drunk. In either case, there was loud music and alcohol.
Oh. The graduation ceremony. It was like any other graduation ceremony. A moment of silence. The singing of the national anthem. The general procession of awards given out to excellent students and faculty. A lot of other filler that extends the ceremony an additional thirty minutes. The graduation speech given by the Chancellor. This speech does not change that much each year. Though he might give a new speech if it's been used too often, like once every, what, ten years. It may seem like a joke, but it's the truth. I've heard this year's speech last year. And also again in 2004 when I graduated from KU with a BA in English.
Once this was all over, the ceremony came to what everyone was there for. The Chancellor officially conferring degrees to all the worthy graduates. This didn't take too long...about five minutes. Then it was done. Oh. I forgot a few steps that were necessary for a KU graduation ceremony.
No graduation ceremony at KU is official without the Alma Mater, the KU fight song, and the Rock Chalk Chant. Once that is all done with, the ceremony is finally over. And this was done in quick order.
That was graduation day in a condensed form. If you would like to know more about graduation day in detail, please graduate from KU. That's the best way to know.
That's all for now.
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