Graduating From KU...Again

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Just in case you don't know, this site is all about me, my so-called life, and all the little things that I find interesting. If this is not your particular cup of tea, Google can help give you some other sites to look at. And so, something that you've been waiting for. It's an update to this site, so you're getting something. This post is about graduation day. Yes, I'm late with this post, but at least I'm talking about this momentous occasion. So read on and enjoy.

"Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don't know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it."
--Sir William Haley
"Sometimes justice cannot be had without money."
--Thomas Hobbes
In August 2004, I entered the doors of the University of Kansas School of Law as a 1L, the bottom of the totem pole. Like the other students in the class of 2007, I didn't know what to expect. I had heard and read all of the stories about law school. There were the professors from Hell who employed the Socratic Method, berating students who failed to prepare for class. There were the legends of the heavy workload, all of the reading that had to be done. The grading system that was supposed to be fair but was unfair. There were the final exams and the dreaded Bar Exam and how that was another level of Hell added to the mix. Then there were the other stories I heard about law school.
Graduates of law school made money, lots of money. They were respected members of the community. You had a certain level of prestige that others did not. You could never fail law school unless you totally messed up and failed to show up for the final exam. And there was the legendary parties and social events where drinking alcohol was the norm. The four day weekend that began on Thursday night.
On May 17, 2007, it was all over. The last final exam was turned in. Graduating 3Ls attened parties, got drunk, and celebrated the end of law school. Not the end of the semester, but the end of law school. No more school, no more classes, no more books. The end.
And what did I learn from three years of law school? I learned quite a bit. I learned about the intricate nature of contracts, criminal law, criminal procedure, property, civil procedure, constitutional law, international law, trial advocacy, income tax procedure, and everything else under the sun. Much of this involved concepts expressed in a foreign language like Latin and French instead of English. This made understanding such concepts harder. I also learned that law school will cost you money, lots of money. Any graduate of law school will know what I am talking about. I also know that I really don't know everything there is to know about the law, but a very broad but shallow base. The rest I will have to learn on my own in the real world. I guess that this is more that what most people learn in law school.
Even then, despite turning in my last final exam, it still was not official according to the University of Kansas. It would not be official until May 20, 2007 when the Chancellor of KU declared it so. But first, came the law school hooding ceremony. There would be some extra guests there: The Westburo Baptist Church led by Fred Phelps.

"Fundamentalists are to Christianity what paint-by-numbers is to art."
--Robin Tyler
Fred Phelps and the Westburo Baptist Church...what more can be said about the congregation led by a homophobic minister who used to be a lawyer? Good ol' Fred Phelps used to be a lawyer. Interestingly enough, he was a civil rights lawyer. This might be a case of irony writ large. Note the phrase "used to." He was disbarred in the State of Kansas. Not for his religious or personal beliefs, but for conduct not becoming of a lawyer (basically, this is lawyer-speak for being a total jerk). Now, Fred Phelps graduated from a Kansas law school. I get the feeling that the law school who gave him the diploma would have taken it back long ago had the law school known this would be the result. Ah, but you can't turn back time. You just have to make the most of it. Just like Fred Phelps.
He has protested the KU Law hooding ceremony for many years. It's a chance to get a whole lot of free publicity. At least 1600 people who will walk by and see his motley crew of homophobes. If he gets some coverage by the news, all the better. As long as people see him, he wins in his opinion.
While waiting for the ceremony to start, several guys I know thought this would be a great photo opportunity. Why not take a picture in front of the protestors? Show some KU Jayhawk spirit. The Westburo Baptist protestors, showing the level of wit that the average Mizzou basketball fan possesses (who also have no intelligence or taste at all), has a sign saying "KU Gayhawks." So the guys and I take a few pictures.
After talking to some people in some random conversation, it's not time for the hooding ceremony.

"My parents sent my brother through law school. He graduated. Now he's suing them for wasting seven years of his life."
--Mike Binder
Faculty and staff at the law school describe the hooding ceremony in grand terms. After experiencing this rite of passage, I'm not that impressed. Just like many things in law school, it sounds important but really isn't once you translate it to English. Then again, the law school is telling me that I've graduated, so it's important.
Law school has taught me how to condense everything and just mention the really important stuff. Procession down the aisles. Sit in chairs. Listen to a professor give out awards to members of the graduating class. The Dean gives the traditional graduation speech. Get up again. Get on stage. Shake hands. Get picture taken. Shake hands. Get back in seat. End of ceremony.

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."
--George Carlin
It would not be an official graduation at the University of Kansas unless one has taken the "Walk Down the Hill." This is what makes the graduation official to most KU students, not the ceremony inside Memorial Stadium. It's an essential symbol, an essential rite of graduation. The walk through the Campanille and down the hill is graduation. Sure, the speeches and pomp and circumstance is nice, but The Walk Down the Hill is what counts.
All the administration at KU tells you to be at your appointed spots before 2:30 PM as that is when the ceremony begins. That's when the walk begins. What they don't tell you is that there's a certain order in how the various schools go down the hill. The professional schools go after the College of Liberal Arts and Science or CLAS. Law is second to last. Medicine is last. Basically, the Law school has to wait for about an hour until everyone else has gone down the hill and entered the stadium. When it gets hot (which has happened before), near a hundred degrees, waiting for an hour can seem like a lifetime, an experience akin to torture.
Thankfully, it was a glorious day in May. Not too hot. Just right.
Since this is the law school, this year's graduating class was prepared for the long wait. And since this is law school, there was lots of alcohol involved. Several students brought in bottles of champagne. Not to open and spray everyone, but to drink. As one law school student commented, "Spray the champagne everywhere? Hell no. That would be a perfect waste of alcohol. I'm drinking this. Want to join me?" And he pulled out two glasses.
Someone was even more prepared, just like the Boy Scouts, but with a ticket to AA. His backpack had a miniature stereo system installed. Plus some ice packs. And a bottle of champagne. And a bottle of Jack Daniels. And a bag of ice. And a set of highball glasses to boot.
Some other people brought along cigars to smoke. One person came in late, carrying a box containing beer. Let's just say that there was a miniature party in the law school section. Anyone dropping by the law school section would have had a marvelous time or at least gotten very drunk. In either case, there was loud music and alcohol.
Oh. The graduation ceremony. It was like any other graduation ceremony. A moment of silence. The singing of the national anthem. The general procession of awards given out to excellent students and faculty. A lot of other filler that extends the ceremony an additional thirty minutes. The graduation speech given by the Chancellor. This speech does not change that much each year. Though he might give a new speech if it's been used too often, like once every, what, ten years. It may seem like a joke, but it's the truth. I've heard this year's speech last year. And also again in 2004 when I graduated from KU with a BA in English.
Once this was all over, the ceremony came to what everyone was there for. The Chancellor officially conferring degrees to all the worthy graduates. This didn't take too long...about five minutes. Then it was done. Oh. I forgot a few steps that were necessary for a KU graduation ceremony.
No graduation ceremony at KU is official without the Alma Mater, the KU fight song, and the Rock Chalk Chant. Once that is all done with, the ceremony is finally over. And this was done in quick order.
That was graduation day in a condensed form. If you would like to know more about graduation day in detail, please graduate from KU. That's the best way to know.


That's all for now.