Last Comic Standing

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update to this site. Only because I love you and I know that you want to know what's going on in my so-called life. You must be dying to know. Come on...admit it.

I've been watching Last Comic Standing on NBC and I'm kind of enjoying it. Being an amateur stand-up comic and all. Well, I'm more of a dabbler with this gig. As much as I would like to make millions and become world famous, I've got to make a living. So that dream will have to wait for a while. Hey, you've got to be realistic and this is realistic. Anyways...
When the comics are good, the show is great. The stuff is funny. On the other hand, when the comics are bad and have no idea of what is funny, well, there's a certain amount of cringe involved. It's that "Oh my God, what the hell was that" feeling. And there have been many instances where I watch the television and wonder. Of course, these people are probably aware that they suck like a prison inmate. They just want the chance to be so horrible that they make it on TV. Kind of like American Idol and any other show of that kind.
But this would not be such an interesting post if I was all positive. There's a part of the show that drives me mad and provides much agony. The little thing they call "Joke of the Day."

I'm not exactly sure why they call it "Joke of the Day." Yes, you get a joke if you pay $.99 and make a text message. Assuming the crap they call a joke is actually funny and not a bad pun like this:

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get their ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer! (Buck an ear)

Cue up the groans on the laugh track, get a gun, aim it, and pull the trigger. This is the kind of unfunny, trite shit you would expect from a hack or a six year old doing a bad ventriloquism act. And they expect you to pay money for jokes you can get free from the Internet. A search on Google willl get you thousands of sites filled with these lousy puns. This must be why they call it "Joke of the Day." Only an idiot would pay money and the joke is on them
I've now taken these lousy puns and made them better. For example, they had a joke that went like this

Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

The actual answer is pretty dumb (a carrot). My answer is the love child of Gilbert Gottfried and Carrot Top. Apparently, other people have noticed that these jokes suck. Whoever came up with this idea was high on drugs or recently had a lobotomy.

Last Comic Standing also has a website feature that allows people to submit even more of these horrible jokes so others can get tortured by them. Damn. What are the odds that talentless hacks who have no idea of what's actually funny will submit more of these jokes? Very good. If Powerball had odds like that, I'd be playing and paying for every jackpot. Please, for the love of God, do not submit more of these horrible jokes.

That's all for now.