Single

It's another update to this site today. A few random thoughts that came to my head that I had to put down on this site.

Being a good person--a genuinely nice person--does not lead to immediate success with romance. In fact, it is the most naive thought a person can have. On the surface, it seems rational that a member of the opposite sex will find this attactive. It doesn't work that way, ever. If you're single, the worst adjectives that describe you are not what you think. They're not "fat" or "ugly" or even "moron." Oh no. They're the following: "smart", "nice", and "sweet". Yes, they may seem like good things, but they are not.
It may not sound bad, but to a person who has heard "Let's just be friends" everytime they charm a person to deep friendship, it's like calling that person "radioactive." Sure, it doesn't sound bad, but think about it for a moment. Imagine yourself wanting to buy a dog. Let's say a Golden Retriever. What qualities do you like in this furry companion? Hopefully, you're not thinking "chewy." I digress. Hmm...what about "smart," "nice" and "sweet?" OK, this might be stretching it, but add the following adjectives to the list: "loyal" and "friendly." What are you thinking right now? Maybe "Gee...that sounds like the perfect dog to me!" and not "Gee...that sounds like the perfect person I want to date!" Good luck getting past the "just friends" stage in a relationship.

Stranger still, most people (I am assuming this to be true as I have read many articles and books on this topic) want to date/marry a person who is "smart," "nice," "friendly," etc. Yes, looks are important also, but I would like to focus on these three aspects. Some people might add in other adjectives more fit for Prince Charming or Cinderella (post Glass Slipper). And yet, they go into relationships with the total opposite of what they supposedly want.
This might explain the basic premise of the dating ritual: the harder you supposedly are to get, the harder the opposite sex falls for you. After some time, your intended target will find you so irresistable that they will ask you out. Or so it seems in real life. Maybe I am wrong with this line of thought.
One could explain this by saying that people have an intense desire to have what we can't have and to have what we don't have. Sort of like a car nut wanting to own a Porshe 911 or a female wanting to own a 20 carat diamond ring. That sort of thing. Sounds perfectly rational. And yet, this intense desire is irrational. People (supposedly) want a partner who is kind, friendly, smart, etc. and yet get into relationships that do not work. This defeats their intended purpose of finding the ideal mate as falling in love with a non-optimal partner is not the ideal solution to this problem. "Love," using the term loosely, is a powerful force that turns everyone it hits into irrational beings. Our urges are irrational. Which makes them think in a strange fashion by messing up their sense of logic. Kind of like staying with no-good, cheating scum because "they love them." Seeing an episode or two of Jerry Springer or Maury Povich with show this very well. Of course, these people do not learn and fall into the same routine over and over again. And each time after a failed relationship, these people wonder where the nice men and women are.

But does it pay off to be a genuinely nice person? Maybe. It sounds better than "You're going to be lonely and miserable for the rest of your life." Or so it has been said. If you are a genuinely nice person, don't change because you are desperate for a date. Someone, sooner or later will discover there are genuinely nice people. And besides, genuinely nice people will not chew your shoes or shed lots of hair. There is the downside involving the remote control, but that's a problem that can't be helped.


That's all for now.