A Day at the Ren Fest...

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un.. Basically, this blog is all about me and the things that I find interesting. If you haven't gotten this by now, well, you might want to get off the Internet and find something else to do.

You've probably noticed that I haven't been updating the other "blog" that I maintain. I haven't permanently neglected that site or the story. It's just taking a lot more time to write a chapter these days. I'm doing my best to finish the story. Hopefully, I'll get it done before NaNoWriMo 2007 begins. So that's the situation for that. Now on to the purpose of this post. A Day at Ye Olde Ren Fest.

I'm sure that many of you have been to a Renaissance Festival of some sort. Or you have visited a place that has a "medieval" theme to it. Of course, most Renaissance Festivals and Fairs are not the most historically accurate events. Then again, if everything was historically accurate, one would not be having much fun. There would not be any oversized turkey legs to eat, shows to watch, or not much at all. Everyone would be toiling in the fields for a feudal lord or at church. Not that fun at all. Nor is it very entertaining to anyone. Unless of course, you like that kind of stuff.
I visited the KC Ren Fest, located by the Verizon Amphitheater on Saturday. The parking lot is crap. If they spent a little more money on paving the damn parking lot, more people would come to the concerts. I've never seen such big freaking ruts and holes in a parking lot before. Except in pictures of war zones. Maybe some of the worse parts of inner cities. Anyways...
It was pleasant and not too hot, unlike the last time I went there. Lots of shade.
The prices were still the same...which means it's generally overpriced. $2.50 for a 20oz bottle of soda is steep. Then again, it's the Ren Fest. For any special event, it's gonig to cost you money and lots of it.
I spent a lot of time walking around, absorbing the pseudo-Middle Ages athmosphere. I might have gotten a bit too much of it. The smoke that is.
I kind of wonder how anyone can wear those period costumes (very loose usage of the term "period") and not get uncomfortable. Of course, they probably are feeling uncomfortable. The men liked the costumes the women were wearing for obvious reasons that need not be explained if you've seen them.
I had lots of fun insulting street performers. Any time you can use "They'd need a lot more beer to find you attractive" is always fun.
And I also saw men in kilts do traditional Highland Games activities. Things like carrying a 140 pound rock for two minutes. Or toss a damn caber. This makes me wonder who the hell would be crazy enough to do stuff like that and call it fun. That must have made for an interesting conversation.

"MacDonald, what do you say we toss a caber?"
"Brilliant! And we throw it so it looks pretty and elegant MacDuff?"
"Brilliant! What about carrying a stone and seeing how far you can carry it?"
"Brilliant! And what about tossing a weight?"
"Brilliant! Let's get all the clans together in the Highlands and call it the Highland Games?"
"Brilliant! Where's the whiskey?"

Of course, these activities served a purpose. Strength, endurance, stamina, martial skills like spear throwing and so forth. But you'd have to be crazy in a way. Or drunk. Or a little bit of both. I'm not sure. I left with the idea that you'd have to be a Scottish person to come up with that.
So that's what I did at the KC Ren Fest on Saturday. It wasn't so bad.
Leaving the parking lot, however, was not good. Especially when a Missouri driver decides to make up imaginary exits and nearly hits your car. Or when they find the idea of using the turn signal to be a step forward in evolution. Or when they actually go when the light is green and stop when it's red.


That's all for now.

A Football Post

Greetings and welcome to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. Yes, this site is all about me, my quasi-life, and the random thoughts floating in my head that I find interesting. It's time for a post. A post all about football.

For all of those optimistic Kansas City Chiefs fans...you're delusional. The preseason in which the Chiefs failed to make TDs, field goals, and points-after was a harbringer of what was going to come. Absolute failure. Last season was a massive fluke. The Chiefs were lucky to make it to the post-season with that lousy of a record. They didn't have what it took to earn a spot in the playoffs. That's reality.
The experts are right. The Chiefs will have a sub-par year. They will continue their record of missing the playoffs. It's because the coaches and the owner are idiots. Let me count the ways...
1. Medlock. Your field goal kicker should be able to make field goals. If they are 30 yards and in, they should be automatic. Easy stuff. Granted, sometimes the conditions are lousy like a torrential rainstorm or snow or ice. I will give in a little and give the kicker the benefit of the doubt.
He couldn't make a field goal during the preseason. If this is the best they could find, then the team is screwed. Maybe it was rookie jitters. OK, we'll see how he does in the regular season. Shanks it. Misses it from what, 30 yards out. Not good.
By the way, Lawrence Tyne is making them. The irony.
2. Special teams. Sepcial teams can win games. Dante Hall was the X-Factor. A kickoff return or a punt return for a touchdown or good field position can be the deciding factor. It's not good if the return guy who is supposed to replace Dante Hall muffs the punt and the other team returns it for a touchdown. I don't care if you think the ref made an error, you are supposed to hold on to the ball with two hands and protect it. Hold it tight. Don't let it leave your hands for a second. Once it's loose, anyone can grab it.
If you are the cover team, you should tackle. You should be able to run and tackle. You do not blow coverage. The Chiefs for some reason, can't do this well. Maybe they should get better players...wait, the Chiefs GM and coaching staff said they did.
3. Offense. Was plain offensive. No running game. The passing game was good, but Huard threw two INTs. Not good.
4. Defense. Not there. Fourth quarter meltdown. Blown coverage. The same ol' situation. The same ol' ball and chain. I thought the Chiefs got good players...
5. Coaching. What the hell? Why do you insist on running when you're down by ten points? The running route--pound the ball--only works if the running game is good AND you're scoring points. It's even better when you are ahead and the defense is rolling along. The Chiefs had none. The Chiefs were down, the running game was lousy, and the defense couldn't do jack. Why run the ball in a conservative manner? It's not like the QB could do any worse than he already was doing! It's not like the Offense was doing anything while on the field except stall, fumble, get intercepted. They ain't scoring anything.
In sum, the Chiefs will have a lousy season. Rebuilding will be tough. Get ready for a whole lot of ugly.

This is a note for the Jayhawk football fans. Get ready for another mediocre season. Despite the recent results of the past two games (2 WINS, outscoring 114-7), this will be another ho-hum season. I don't care if the defense is fast. I don't care if the offense looks good. I don't care for those things. The Jayhawks were playing against Division 1AA teams I've never heard of before. I couldn't tell you where they were located. The Jayhawks were supposed to beat them by a large margin. Yes, there was the Michigan upset by Appalachain State, but the Wolverines are overrated. They actually suck. Hyped up to the extreme. Preseason polls mean shit.
Look, they can come out of the non-conference with a 4-0 record. That's nice. Once the regular conference comes, it will be a different story. Expect them to lose in the ways that are unexpected. Stuff like they pulled last year. Pulling defeat from the jaws of victory.
Look at their schedule. They are playing 4 not-so-great schools in the beginning. Their Big XII schedule doesn't include Texas or Oklahoma. They're rigging their schedule to make it a good-looking year, which would be something like .500, maybe 7 wins. Mangino has a nice pedigree, but he ain't doing a Bill Snyder (his former boss at K-State) or a Bill Stoops (former boss at Oklahoma).

That's all for now.

It's An Update...All Legal Stuff

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. It's time for an update to this site, something that has not been done in quite a long time. And now, back to the regularly scheduled program...

Today's post is all about the legal system. Well, stories that involve criminals and the lawyers who have to defend them. These stories should teach you important lessons if you are a lawyer, wanting to be a lawyer, or if you happen to be on the wrong side of the law in the future. Not that you are criminals or anything... I hope my blog readers are not criminally inclined.

If you are a criminal and you've just been sentenced, there are certain things you should not do. You should not scream obscenities at the judge or the jury. You should not make threats at anyone, especially the judge. You also should not hit your lawyer like this man. As tempting as this may sound, it is not a good thing to do. Never do this.
In addition, if you have done the deed, do not blab that you did it to anyone. The person might be an informant. They might be a cop. They might tell the police on you. It is a good way of getting your butt hauled into jail. Not a good thing if you want your criminal tendencies to stay anonymous.
Do not do what this person did. He wrote a book and told how he did it. He got convicted of murder.
If you're accused of copyright infringement, do not plagiarize your appology speech from the Internet, just like this government official.
If you burglarize and vandalize a campsite, do not leave your name at the crime scene. The police, oddly enough, will track you down.
If you are angry at your wife's attorney, there are good ways of venting your anger. Committing arson is not an acceptable option.

So, do not do what these people have done. Your life will be much better.
That's all for now.