A Basic Guide to Women

Like the Styx song goes, "I've got too much time on my hands." Which is why I am writing stuff to put onto this blog. Way too much time.
I like watching people. It's a fun activity to do while you are outside and you have some time to kill. In Europe, particularly in France, it is something you do while drinking coffee or any time for that matter. I find humans amusing. Their conversations say nothing yet everything in a few words.
Women are masters with words. This makes them hard to understand if you are a normal guy. But, I believe that I have listened to enough conversations to interpret what they are saying. This has probably been done before, so appologies to anyone who has written something like this.

1. Never use "FINE" to describe how a woman looks. Be honest, but in a nice way. Never be blunt and say "You look " This will guarantee her wanting to rip your head off. If they look good, complement them sincerely, without excess flattery. Crude comments are generally not welcome. That will generally result with a slap in the face.
2. "NOTHING" is a dangerous word as it means "something." When a woman means "something," it means RUN LIKE HELL! If you hear these words, make sure you have a plante ticket, a passport, credit cards, and an ID in a different name. Avoid provoking her. Lying will get you nowhere, except the hospital.
3. If a woman says "OH," be careful. Most likely, she has caught you in a lie that you cannot get out of. Women have built-in lie detectors and they can spot BS instantly. Remember, it is best to be honest at all times. Lying after hearing the "OH" will lead to an argument about "NOTHING".
4. When a woman says "PLEASE DO," she is offering you a chance to give whatever pathetic excuse you have for what you have done. Tell the truth. Avoid lying. If she catches you, there will be hell to pay.
5. "GO AHEAD" with raised eyebrows is dangerous. It is not meant as an offer to do what you want. It is an offer for you to do what SHE wants. Remember birthdays and anniversaries so you don't plan a fishing trip 0n that day.
6. There is difference between "THANKS A LOT" and "THANKS." "THANKS A LOT" means she is angry. "THANKS" is the compliment. Never confuse the two. If you do confuse the two, may God save your soul.