Yesterday, I had an...interesting...well, maybe unusual conversation with a former professor. This professor, who shall remain anonymous (Anonymous Professor or AP as this progresses) is a really cool professor at KU Law School. He pounds information in your head like a sledgehammer and it will stay in by God or you will be woefully unprepared for one of his finals. Anonymous Professor also tells very funny jokes and makes funny comments. Students (well, maybe me at this moment) have compiled a list of APisms, or catch phrases he uses in class. Most of them involve references to crooked politicians and property law. By now, if you're a student at KU Law, you'll know who I am talking about. Then again, if you've read my writing project blog, you'll have an idea of what I'm talking about.
Anyways, I've just gotten a drink of water from the water fountain. Earlier in the day, one of the water mains leading to the law school burst so water was nonexistent until the problem could be fixed. AP had noticed that the water was back on and he made several funny comments about the current situation. You've got to be there when he starts cracking jokes. It's an experience.
Anyways, he comments on how he likes my shirt. Normal conversation, right? So I'm wearing a crimson shirt with "KU" in block print and a navy blue Nike swoosh. Yeah, so KU changed it's athletic apparel allegiance to Adidas. It has KU on it, so it's good enough. I'm not spending money to replace the old Nike stuff with Adidas stuff since I am cheap and on the pragmatic side, it's still KU apparel.
The rest of the conversation goes down from here and enters into an amazingly bizarre level of non-reality. Almost surreal. What follows is an actual event and not some fictional story coming from my head. These events, for some reason, happen to me. I must be a "unusual event" lightning rod or something.
AP: "Mr. Un-Zone, that is a really nice shirt you're wearing."
Me: "Thanks."
AP: "It has a really nice texture to it."
Me: (Confusion is registering on my face right now, wondering what the hell is going on right now.) "It does..."
AP: "Very rugged. This might sound gay, but would you mind if I felt your shirt? Just to get an idea of what the texture is like?"
Me: (Even more confused and trying to figure out what to say or do at this time.)
Let's pause right now. What the hell do you do at this moment? Be polite and act as if nothing has happened? Be casual? Show shock? In order to avoid escalating the level of social awkwardness any higher, I decide to take the casual route. As if this was a normal way for people to react to a shirt.
Me: "Sure. Go ahead." (I'm thinking I pulled this one off very casually. And this is one big joke. Where are the cameras?)
AP decides that this will be a good time to feel my shirt. He touches the sleeve and rubs it between his fingers, as if he is appraising the quality of fabric. Now this is weird.
AP: "Very nice. It's got a rugged texture to it. Very tough. It's unlike the combed cotton they use in other shirts. Do you know what I'm talking about?"
Me: (I don't know anything about the texture of combed cotton, but I maintain some composure.)"Um...yeah."
AP: "By any chance, where did you get this shirt?"
Me: (By this time, the social awkwardness has gone off the chart. So I decide to go take a roundabout route and not say anything of value. I probably could have said something like "I got it as a present." but I don't.) "Well, I got it from someone who knows someone..."
AP: "I don't want to hear any more. I should be going right now. That is a very nice shirt."
And now it's time to go outside to sit in the sun to decompress from this very unusual conversation. It's nice when people comment on how they like the clothes you're wearing, but when it comes from a professor who decides they would like to feel your shirt because they like the texture, that's really strange. It would have been much better if an attractive girl asked, preferably with a phone number. Ah, if life only worked that way in reality and not in my little world in my head. It should happen soon. I think. Anyways, if you are a single female who would like to feel this shirt in question, please feel free to contact me at...just kidding. It was a joke. Wait. If you consider this a serious offer and would like to do so...you know what to do.
This is just a fluke and it will not happen again. I might have to search my closet for shirts of unusual texture.
It's now time to begin my day. I should be getting ready for Federal Income Taxation today and Trial Ad small section tomorrow. That's all for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment