Fly The Friendly Skies

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only site on the Internet where you can find all things related to Un. It's time for an update about how insecure airport security is. And how dumb it can get.

Thanks to the recent liquid explosive scare in London, airport security was tightened just in case there were more terrorists loose. You know, you have to make sure there aren't any other crazy bombers out there. Supposedly, they were going to mix chemicals to make liquid explosives. Acetone peroxide. Thankfully, we have all those neat detectors to discover these horrible chemicals. They should work, right? Nope.
According to the latest report by the Department of Homeland Security, they aren't that effective. When they X-ray your shoes, they really aren't doing much in the detection department. Trained people can detect anomalies, but this method isn't all too effective.
What you really need, however, are explosives trace detectors. Terrorists, if they do use explosives, do not wash their hands very well. So you can swab their hands and nab them. As long as you pick out the right person that arouses suspicion or you happen to pick out the right person in a random search. Yeah, the eenie-minie-moe way.
Besides, the security people can't tell who is suspicious or not. Brown skinned person means terrorist. Forget the angry looking Arabic guy on the airport tram who is sweating and fidgeting while carrying a one-way ticket (Mohammed Atta, by the way). Plus you forget the fact that he told a flight instructor that he "didn't need to learn how to land a plane." And the other intelligence gathered by the FBI and CIA because of rivalries, plus the lazy bosses who wanted to be inefficient on purpose (more money). Not that it should worry you or anything before you fly. Just don't look suspicious. Good luck.
Then again, these are "specially trained" people working the machines. And the much-vaunted baggage handlers and checkers are equally well trained. Not really. Remember when the news reported how some security people (baggage checkers and other people of that sort) were people with criminal records. Convicted of crimes like burglary and robbery? Doesn't that make you feel safe right now? The guy checking your bag was a thief! What? No real background checks? And he's being paid minimum wage by the government to make sure you are safe. Most of the people trained were poorly educated, poorly motivated, and poorly trained, which is not good for you. Feeling lucky?
We could hire better people (those who know what they are doing) or follow the Israeli method of airport security. They hire former intelligence officers, soldiers, and police officers. And they are well educated and well trained to boot also. But we can't. It costs too much. You've got to bail out the airlines due to their incompetence in managing their money. And all those nice corporations need tax breaks also. And we need some extra change to pay for Iraq. I guess you can put a price on security.
Have a nice trip on your next flight! Fly the friendly skies and don't worry about any security problems. The government is on the job. And we all know what a great job they do!
Resume your life. IF you don't fly, the terrorists will have won. The security checks are inconvenient, but necessary for your safety.

That's all for now.