Back to Zero...And A Rant

Greetings and welcome back to The Un-Zone, the only known site on the Internet devoted to all things related to Un. If, by the way, you don't know by now, all the little things that I find interesting. So it's all about me. Deal with it.
Law school finals are almost over. Dealt with three of them and I should be feeling better right now, but I am not. I should be feeling much better. All of the forced regurgitation of case law and statutes, all of the poorly-written and vague questions, all of the time limits, nearly done. A month away from all of that stuff...I should be happier by now. But I am not.
It seems like I am playing a zero-sum game or even worse, one where I am losing something in exchange for a month of freedom from law school. The Rolling Stones with their song "Back to Zero" describes how I am feeling:

Back to zero, that's where we're going
Back to nothing, that's where we're heading
Straight to meltdown, that's where we're going
Back to zero, right now, right now
We're going nowhere
Right now, right now
Back to zero, that's where we're heading
Back to zero

This sucks. I'm beginning to think I am a trained dolphin at Sea World, but mentally unstable in some manner. I've been trained to jump through all of these hoops. Each time, the task gets a little more difficult. A little higher than the last. Maybe a little smaller. Maybe on fire. Maybe a little bit of both. All of these minor variations that make the task harder. Sure, it is a change, but it's the same damn task. The same damn hoops to jump through in some kind of graceful manner.
I've always had this feeling, but now, it's just become stronger and stronger. It's now the truth. The unadulterated truth. Not because I am bitter or angry, but because it's what is what. All of this hoop jumping is just a big, steaming load of freaking bullshit. None of this really matters in real life. All of those law school exams and the grades indicate nothing. Even the professors say that grades don't matter. Means nothing. But it is nice to have an A than a B, a B than a C, a C than a D, a D than an F. In law school, grades below a C are pretty much nonexistant. The C could be a D or an F, but thanks to the mandatory curve, it's a C! That A might really be a B, but you have to have some A's to get the curve right.
Professional tests? Just another way to make the profession seem good. Highest grade on the Bar? Doesn't mean a thing. Professional ethics? Laughable. You don't need a test to know what is right or wrong. Just a way to make lawyers seem less crooked. I prefer my personal ethics than what a damn test says what is OK behavior. Legal ethics, by the way, is an oxymoron. And what is "ethical" as a lawyer is pretty pitiful. It makes you wonder what really matters: doing your best for the client or doing your best for your bank account. As a cynical person, I'm guessing the bank account. Yes, there are honest lawyers who actually give a damn about such things, and not in the legal ethics viewpoint, but I wonder about them also. I wonder about myself as well and what path I will take sometimes.

God, I am a mess up there sometimes. Maybe more than sometimes. I question my sanity. Which might make me the sanest person around. Or I am severly delusional. Either possibility is scary. I think this world is messed up and has its priority backwards. Maybe I am naive in thinking this world can be better and more sane and thinking it should operate the way I think it should. I'm getting angry over things I can't change. Things that are minor, but get me pissed off and on a rant.
Society and the media considers a marriage between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes breaking news, but a car bomb killing Iraqis and American soldiers not that important. The news reporters might say things in jest, but it is indicitive of what Americans are serious about. Trivial fluff. "I know you all want to know about the marriage, but we have to get to serious stuff." If the serious stuff is serious, then talk about that first instead of some marriage that is planned and most likely, fail in a year. We have a vast source of information--newspapers, TV, Internet--and we're quite possibly, the most ignorant about what is going on in our backyard and the world. More people would know details about a celebrity breakup or a football game than what is happening in Iraq or any part of the world.
That's the scary part. Apathetic people who can't think for themselves, who accept whatever is fed to them, deciding what should happen. People who don't think and analyze. Who accept the simplest explanation of "this is wrong" and takes it in at face value. People who don't care running the place now and people who don't care taking their place.
A quote from the movie Network that describes the state of this world:

You people and sixty-two million other Ameicans are listening to me right now. Because less than three percent of you people read books. Because less than fifteen percent of you read newspapers. Because the only truth you know is what you get over this tube. Right now, there is a whole, an entire generation that never knew anything that didn't come out of this tube. This tube is the gospel, the ultimate revelation. This tube can make or break Presidents, Popes, Prime Ministers. This tube is the most awesome, god-damned force in the whole godless world. And woe is us if it ever falls into the hands of the wrong people and that's why woe is us that Edward George Ruddy died. Because this company is now in the hands of CCA, the Communication Corporation of America. There's a new chairman of the board, a man called Frank Hackett sitting in Mr. Ruddy's office on the 20th floor. And when the twelfth largest company in the world controls the most awesome, god-damned propaganda force in the whole godless world, who knows what s--t will be peddled for truth on this network. So, you listen to me! Listen to me! Television is not the truth. Television is a god-damned amusement park. Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, story tellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, sideshow freaks, lion tamers and football players. We're in the boredom-killing business. So if you want the truth, go to your God, go to your gurus, go to yourselves because that's the only place you're ever gonna find any real truth. But man, you're never gonna get any truth from us. We'll tell you anything you want to hear. We lie like hell! We'll tell you that Kojack always gets the killer, and nobody ever gets cancer in Archie Bunker's house. And no
matter how much trouble the hero is in, don't worry. Just look at your watch - at the end of the hour, he's gonna win. We'll tell you any s--t you want to hear. We deal in illusions, man. None of it is true! But you people sit there day after day, night after night, all ages, colors, creeds - we're all you know.
You're beginning to believe the illusions we're spinning here. You're beginning to think that the tube is reality and that your own lives are unreal. You do whatever the tube tells you. You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube. You even think like the tube. This is mass madness. You maniacs. In God's name, you people are the real thing. We are the illusion. So turn off your television sets. Turn them off now. Turn them off right now. Turn them off and leave them off. Turn them off right in the middle of this sentence I am speaking to you now. Turn them off!

Sorry. Went on a rant. I'm getting angry, venting over something I can't change. Stupid of me to do that. But it still remains. We're all on a trip going back to zero. And we're all responsible for it.

That's all for now.